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  1. #201
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wellspring View Post
    Whatusername, there is another side to the 'living in the future' thing: the past is usually getting discarded way too easily. People who know how deep my emotions run, can't believe that I am so NOT nostalgic. That doesn't mean the past wasn't lovely, but, well, it's PAST. We hardly live in the present so asking us to live in memories and used-t-be's is really too much. Even in the area of getting over relationships – I think that where we have the problem is in this tendency to overanalyze. But personally I hardly ever miss people who have walked out of my life (or, umm, have been made to walk out…) never mind how close we used to be. It was great when you were there. Now you are not.

    For most INFJ's, I think our memory of the past is not even that good. Family and childhood friends can usually recall so many details I can't for the life of me remember. Of course we remember the important things – meaningful conversations, groundbreaking discoveries, and which character said what in the first book we ever read. But trivialities tend to vanish into oblivion.

    Here and there you can come across an INFJ sighing over something lost – but that has got to be REALLY big. When INFJ's miss something it's an open wound they can't forget and it has got be in the love-of-their-life scale. Other that than, I just can't recall myself, or any other INFJ, sighing over the good old days. The future is SO much more interesting…
    nice point. i feel the same pretty much.
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  2. #202
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    @Whatusername: I'm the same way in terms of future planning. I was thinking not too long ago that I spend too much time in the present thinking about this future I want, but I wind up wasting years worth of time with these thoughts instead of GETTING THERE. I'll force myself into the present tense and I'm like "OK, here I am...crap, what the hell do I do?". I'm "typical INFJ" I guess in the sense that I'm trying so hard to discern the 'best and most efficient path' that I hesitate like crazy in taking action. So many actions feel like they are actually huge 'commitments' and I wig out. It's no wonder I have a handful of frustrated folk around me going "Um, get the stick out of your ass and just DO IT" (including my very own inner monologue), hehehe.

    I'm consciously trying not to be so dismissive of the ideas of others at this point. I know in the past I've caused people to want to eat their own heads at time with how much I'll talk about all these things I want to achieve and how much I'll seemingly ignore their suggestions on how to get there. Drive them nuts with how often I change my mind. I think sometimes I am my own worst enemy in how much I think I do prefer spending my time thinking about all these future possibilities rather than doing anything about it in the present. I'm trying to be more open and actually give a chance to the ideas others have for me, trying to 'go with the flow' more and let a real life actually happen to me rather than sinking into the one inside my head.

    It's friggin' difficult though! I do so love my flights of fancy

  3. #203
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloriana View Post
    @Whatusername: I'm the same way in terms of future planning. I was thinking not too long ago that I spend too much time in the present thinking about this future I want, but I wind up wasting years worth of time with these thoughts instead of GETTING THERE. I'll force myself into the present tense and I'm like "OK, here I am...crap, what the hell do I do?". I'm "typical INFJ" I guess in the sense that I'm trying so hard to discern the 'best and most efficient path' that I hesitate like crazy in taking action. So many actions feel like they are actually huge 'commitments' and I wig out. It's no wonder I have a handful of frustrated folk around me going "Um, get the stick out of your ass and just DO IT" (including my very own inner monologue), hehehe.

    I'm consciously trying not to be so dismissive of the ideas of others at this point. I know in the past I've caused people to want to eat their own heads at time with how much I'll talk about all these things I want to achieve and how much I'll seemingly ignore their suggestions on how to get there. Drive them nuts with how often I change my mind. I think sometimes I am my own worst enemy in how much I think I do prefer spending my time thinking about all these future possibilities rather than doing anything about it in the present. I'm trying to be more open and actually give a chance to the ideas others have for me, trying to 'go with the flow' more and let a real life actually happen to me rather than sinking into the one inside my head.

    It's friggin' difficult though! I do so love my flights of fancy

    really? i get shit done. i live in my head between projects, and maybe during projects, but i DO my projects. what do you mean by flights of fancy? i don't think i have those. and i don't really change my mind that much. are you sure you're not p, instead of j? i say that with interest because i don't feel myself to be like you describe here, although i know others might. of course, there is much fluidity among types......but i really like your posts nonetheless.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  4. #204
    Senior Member statuesquechica's Avatar
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    I can understand Gloriana's statement, and apply it to my own behavior. I get things done as well (work- wise, home chores, personal projects) but at the same time if there are big decisions or changes looming in the future I will think and think and think about possible future scenarios; taking decisive action happens much later. It bothers me and exhausts me mentally because I do seek some closure but if not all the information or facts are there I will continue to ruminate.
    I've looked at life from both sides now
    From up and down and still somehow
    It's life's illusions I recall
    I really don't know life at all

    Joni Mitchell

  5. #205
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wellspring View Post
    Whatusername, there is another side to the 'living in the future' thing: the past is usually getting discarded way too easily. People who know how deep my emotions run, can't believe that I am so NOT nostalgic. That doesn't mean the past wasn't lovely, but, well, it's PAST. We hardly live in the present so asking us to live in memories and used-t-be's is really too much. Even in the area of getting over relationships – I think that where we have the problem is in this tendency to overanalyze. But personally I hardly ever miss people who have walked out of my life (or, umm, have been made to walk out…) never mind how close we used to be. It was great when you were there. Now you are not.

    For most INFJ's, I think our memory of the past is not even that good. Family and childhood friends can usually recall so many details I can't for the life of me remember. Of course we remember the important things – meaningful conversations, groundbreaking discoveries, and which character said what in the first book we ever read. But trivialities tend to vanish into oblivion.

    Here and there you can come across an INFJ sighing over something lost – but that has got to be REALLY big. When INFJ's miss something it's an open wound they can't forget and it has got be in the love-of-their-life scale. Other that than, I just can't recall myself, or any other INFJ, sighing over the good old days. The future is SO much more interesting…
    Yup, that is so me. I appreciate people very much but I don't really miss them once they are out of sight, even my family (which might also have to do with my moving around a lot and always having to depend on myself in the last decade so I have gotten used to saying goodbye) Though I am at the moment a bit nostalgic about my time in Berlin but it's because I really LOVE this city.

  6. #206
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    hmm- how about the innate and masterful ability to turn anything and any situation around to be about them.

    you are sad and are suicidal- it isn't anything I did was it. It wasn't oh good- I would want to die if I did anything to hurt you and make you suicidal,lol.

    you are unhappy with your work, I don't treat you like people at work do I, your happy with us right?

    you have a stomach ulcer- I don't have stomach ulcers do I, I don't- well how do you know- do I need to see a doctor- how do stomach ulcers occur- you didn't get stomach ulcers from anything I did, did you?

    black holes are so powerful light can't even escape- when I am in the abyss of despair and am down- I wonder if I suck the light out and don't let it escape- I am not an emotional black hole am I- oh good-because I would want to die if I was,lol.

    this is all a giant guess on ways INFJ's might suck- I don't know from personal experience or anything- purely hypothetical.
    yup, purely hypothetical.................
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
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  7. #207
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Haha! Spot on. ENFJs do it worse, though. Sometimes whatever is going on isn't even tangentially related to them at all and they will just start on about themselves using key words they seem to have randomly selected from the other conversation. But there is no link between the two! Sometimes even I can't spot the link and I'm an Ne dominant, linking shit together that has no place together is how I do.

    With INFJs, though it is much more subtle and permeating. Many times a conversation about (say) floor polish will descend into a conversation about their feelings before I even know what is going on and suddenly I am shoehorned into a conversation about how someone's dad never loved them when all I wanted was to know whether I should buy the orange scented or the lemon scented floor polish.
    Anger is also a feeling.

  8. #208
    Member Eowyn's Avatar
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    The only bitch I have about my very favorite INFJ ever is her ability to see positive intent in everybody, right when I want to be mad at them the most. Which is why I usually call her when my very tiny moral compass suggests I might be a little pissier than a situation calls for.
    "Every well-bred petty crook knows -- the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting."
    -Inara Serra

  9. #209
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    People you can't even hate INFJs properly. Seriously I would have expected more from you. *shakes head in disgust*

  10. #210
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    hmm- how about the innate and masterful ability to turn anything and any situation around to be about them.

    you are sad and are suicidal- it isn't anything I did was it. It wasn't oh good- I would want to die if I did anything to hurt you and make you suicidal,lol.

    you are unhappy with your work, I don't treat you like people at work do I, your happy with us right?

    you have a stomach ulcer- I don't have stomach ulcers do I, I don't- well how do you know- do I need to see a doctor- how do stomach ulcers occur- you didn't get stomach ulcers from anything I did, did you?

    black holes are so powerful light can't even escape- when I am in the abyss of despair and am down- I wonder if I suck the light out and don't let it escape- I am not an emotional black hole am I- oh good-because I would want to die if I was,lol.

    this is all a giant guess on ways INFJ's might suck- I don't know from personal experience or anything- purely hypothetical.
    yup, purely hypothetical.................

    I totally do that. And the worst part is I'm aware of it, but I just. Can't. Stop. It.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

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