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  1. #171
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    I hate it when I'm trying to leave work and catch my bus ride home and my INFJ workmate and I strike up this epic conversation. Not only do I miss that bus but I miss the one that comes half an hour later.

    Stupid INFJ's. Grrhhhhh.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  2. #172
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    I usually love INFJs but the primary thing I hate about them, generalizing grossly of course, is that they love to give unasked for advice, and they do it in this "nice" I-know-what's-best-for-you manner which is really seething, angry superiority under a smooth facade. A word to the wise: just because you're not raising your voice doesn't mean that you aren't being a complete fucking bitch.

  3. #173
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I usually love INFJs but the primary thing I hate about them, generalizing grossly of course, is that they love to give unasked for advice, and they do it in this "nice" I-know-what's-best-for-you manner which is really seething, angry superiority under a smooth facade. A word to the wise: just because you're not raising your voice doesn't mean that you aren't being a complete fucking bitch.
    I have the exact opposite problem. My brother gets on my case incessantly for not speaking my mind. When someone shares a struggle/problem I empathize and comfort - I'll never give advice unless someone out right requests it or I know from past experience with them that they will welcome and consider it. I actually thought one of the defining characteristics of INFJ's was to think critically - only our Fe keeps us from expressing these thoughts.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  4. #174
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    They disappear from time to time and even though they're very involved in people's lives they never are. If that makes sense.

  5. #175
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    I have the exact opposite problem. My brother gets on my case incessantly for not speaking my mind. When someone shares a struggle/problem I empathize and comfort - I'll never give advice unless someone out right requests it or I know from past experience with them that they will welcome and consider it. I actually thought one of the defining characteristics of INFJ's was to critically - only our Fe keeps us from expressing these thoughts.
    In my experience with strong Fe users, not just INFJs, Fe thinks it knows what's best for the group and tries to enforce it in "socially acceptable" ways then acts surprised when other people get pissed off, as if they honestly think there's nothing invasive or annoying about their behavior.

    One of my sisters is a strong Fe user. She loves to nag, and give unsolicited advice, but she does it as though she's a mother talking to a two year old. It gets old after a while, the "sister knows best" game...then she'll get all offended if you call her on her own bullshit, as if she thinks she's perfect or something.

    I know an INFJ in particular who has a similar sweet, concerned but condecending tone in her blog sometimes.

  6. #176
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    I'm definitely a motor mouth (and a novel-length email writer too!) but I'm AWARE of it. Long ago I learned that people can only take so much conversation most of the time, I make efforts not to drain anyone. I'm just happy when I've got someone who wants to have a chat-a-thon

    I'm probably a typical INFJ in that I know I can sometimes be oblivious as to how I'm coming off to others at times. The thing that kills me sometimes, something I find rather funny actually, is that I own all of these mistakes and screw-ups I've made all the time but I do have those people in my life who seem to revel in it when they get to see me screw up first hand, lol.

    I try really hard to throw in the qualifier of "This is just how I personally see it" when I dispense advice or thoughts on matters. I am adamant about my opinion though, I guess it can come off as "know-it-all".

    I have those friends I know love me, but I think they do secretly (sometimes openly) LOVE IT when they get to see me proven wrong. I had one friend who almost shouted down a Wal-Mart once when he was right about something and it was obvious I'd been completely mistaken even though I'd given the big "INFJ belief speech" about how much I knew I was right. He was like "Yeah-heah! Eat it! Say you were wrong! SAY IT!!!", hehehehe.

    I CAN laugh at myself and my sometimes infuriating little hypocrisies! I try to own my shit, I really do

  7. #177
    Senior Member statuesquechica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    In my experience with strong Fe users, not just INFJs, Fe thinks it knows what's best for the group and tries to enforce it in "socially acceptable" ways then acts surprised when other people get pissed off, as if they honestly think there's nothing invasive or annoying about their behavior.
    ^Note to myself: Don't do this shit! (I must confess, I have been guilty of this).

    Other things to "hate" about INFJs:
    -"imaginary progress of events" rather than reality
    -difficult to be objective because of an assumption of good-will on the part of the other person
    -comes off as inconsistent/hypocritical because they are trying to hurt no one
    -torn between real circumstances which warrant immediate action, and internal unwillingness and unpreparedness for taking decisive action (paper tiger)
    -having a theory to explain EVERYTHING! (trying to fit data into their own system of meaning)
    -tries to give the impression of being logical
    -incessant need for "closure" and inability to leave things well enough alone

    Other than that, we are lovely people.
    I've looked at life from both sides now
    From up and down and still somehow
    It's life's illusions I recall
    I really don't know life at all

    Joni Mitchell

  8. #178
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    ^Note to myself: Don't do this shit! (I must confess, I have been guilty of this).

    Other things to "hate" about INFJs:
    -"imaginary progress of events" rather than reality
    -difficult to be objective because of an assumption of good-will on the part of the other person
    -comes off as inconsistent/hypocritical because they are trying to hurt no one
    -torn between real circumstances which warrant immediate action, and internal unwillingness and unpreparedness for taking decisive action (paper tiger)
    -having a theory to explain EVERYTHING! (trying to fit data into their own system of meaning)
    -tries to give the impression of being logical
    -incessant need for "closure" and inability to leave things well enough alone

    Other than that, we are lovely people.
    Hahahaha! I love it.

    Oh, how many dead horses have I beaten in my time? I couldn't count them. Damn me!

  9. #179
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    ^Note to myself: Don't do this shit! (I must confess, I have been guilty of this).

    Other things to "hate" about INFJs:
    -"imaginary progress of events" rather than reality
    -difficult to be objective because of an assumption of good-will on the part of the other person
    -comes off as inconsistent/hypocritical because they are trying to hurt no one
    -torn between real circumstances which warrant immediate action, and internal unwillingness and unpreparedness for taking decisive action (paper tiger)
    -having a theory to explain EVERYTHING! (trying to fit data into their own system of meaning)
    -tries to give the impression of being logical
    -incessant need for "closure" and inability to leave things well enough alone

    Other than that, we are lovely people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gloriana View Post
    Hahahaha! I love it.

    Oh, how many dead horses have I beaten in my time? I couldn't count them. Damn me!
    I hate INFJs because they're so self-deprecating.

  10. #180
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    In my experience with strong Fe users, not just INFJs, Fe thinks it knows what's best for the group and tries to enforce it in "socially acceptable" ways then acts surprised when other people get pissed off, as if they honestly think there's nothing invasive or annoying about their behavior.

    One of my sisters is a strong Fe user. She loves to nag, and give unsolicited advice, but she does it as though she's a mother talking to a two year old. It gets old after a while, the "sister knows best" game...then she'll get all offended if you call her on her own bullshit, as if she thinks she's perfect or something.

    I know an INFJ in particular who has a similar sweet, concerned but condecending tone in her blog sometimes.
    guilty, i'm afraid. working on it.
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