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  1. #1
    Senior Member Ribonuke's Avatar
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    Default INFJs and Obsessions with Fictional Characters

    This is something I've been wondering for a while, and now that I'm fairly certain I'm an INFJ, I wanted some input from other people...

    For some reason, I tend to grow obsessions/infatuations with certain kinds of characters. Not...in any sort of carnal way, mind you, but in a way that I end up wanting to pretend to be them, and I can't stop thinking about them...

    The kinds of characters tend to be mysterious, aloof and/or kicka$$ women. Aloof...but not necessarily lacking in compassion. Examples of such characters include (but are not limited to)

    Selene - Underworld/Underworld: Evolution/Underworld: Awakening
    Elektra Natchios - Daredevil
    Trinity - The Matrix/The Matrix Reloaded/The Matrix Revolutions
    Elle Driver - Kill Bill Vol. 1/Vol. 2
    Shosanna Dreyfus - Inglourious Basterds
    Miriam Blaylock - The Hunger
    Kanaya Maryam - Homestuck (MSPA)
    Cybersix - Cybersix
    Rachael - Blade Runner
    Story - Lady in the Water
    River Tam - Firefly/Serenity
    Zam Wesell - Star Wars: Episode II
    Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (the videogames)
    Deoxys - Pokemon The Movie 7: Destiny Deoxys (something struck me as feminine about it, I don't know why...)
    General Grievous - Star Wars: Episode III (rare 'male' example)
    Max Guevera - Dark Angel
    Melina Havelock - 007: For Your Eyes Only

    And the list could go on, but the movies/tv-shows get more and more obscure from there...

    The weird part is that...all I have to do is see a screenshot or a trailer to become obsessed. And the obsession doesn't start right away; oftentimes the character's image will be stuck in my head, and I'll end up having to find out more information about them, which often causes me to obsess on the character even more.

    Is this my Introverted Intuition causing me to become subconsciously attached to a character before I know what they're like? Is it perhaps because some of these characters share INFJ traits and I feel drawn to them?

  2. #2
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    They say we tend to be attracted to what we view as having our own strengths but lacking our weaknesses so perhaps you admire strength of will (? Just a random guess as that is a trait I perceive those characters as having) but feel that you yourself are not as physically overwhelming or have the sense of power that you perceive these characters as having? (Another guess you will have to answer this question for yourself.)

    Another note: obsessive/compulsive behavior is often a way of trying to meet a basic need you may have vicariously

  3. #3
    Senior Member Ribonuke's Avatar
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    Interesting viewpoint...I've wondered if that was the case. I think the fact that these characters actually DO things instead of just inspiring; putting their willpower to good use; might be a contributing factor.

    I don't believe these bouts of obsessions are related to OCD; I don't carry out a tradition to try and remedy the obsession, but rather expand upon it, trying to find out more. If affected by any "medical" condition, it'd likely be a product of Aspergers. =/

  4. #4
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    I wasn't trying to label you and I don't think it is useful for you to do that to yourself. If you have an intrinsic state that you do not like then it is unchangeable and you are fated to a negative outcome. If your problem is a lack of development in an area of skill then there is productive action you can take to remedy that lack of skill and you can have more of the positive outcome you desire

  5. #5
    Senior Member Ribonuke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    I wasn't trying to label you and I don't think it is useful for you to do that to yourself. If you have an intrinsic state that you do not like then it is unchangeable and you are fated to a negative outcome. If your problem is a lack of development in an area of skill then there is productive action you can take to remedy that lack of skill and you can have more of the positive outcome you desire
    Oddly enough, this was the exact conclusion I came to late last night that led me to shed my Aspergers as a core part of my identity; it's a label comprising of superficial traits rather than an overall mental scheme.

    But yes, in regards to that last part, are you suggesting that I can try to be more like the characters I admire by nuturing myself rather than hating myself?

  6. #6
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    No, change your body language, posture, and intonation to match that of the person you admire. This will change your affective state to match more closely to that of the person you admire.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Ribonuke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    No, change your body language, posture, and intonation to match that of the person you admire. This will change your affective state to match more closely to that of the person you admire.
    So that IS the solution! Thank you so much; I felt like that's the advice I've wanted to follow my entire life, but--perhaps because I live in 'middle America'--I grew up receiving mixed signals that you should always "BE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A CONFORMIST IF YOU'RE NOT" *sigh* ...and I just grew up believing that I should never trust my intuition and that I should instead work from my surroundings. It's probably my Fe aspect trying to desperately avoid a conflict by appeasing others... ._.

  8. #8
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    You can take on individual characteristics without mimicking the whole person. Pick and choose depending on your own individual goals and motives. This will help you to be a rich, unique, fulfilled PERSON rather than a robot.

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    I used to experience this when I was younger. As time continued, I began to shift these "obsessions" to real life people, often idealizing them. That isn't so good if it gets out of hand, but in my opinion, if you can stop from allowing it to take over your reality, it's pretty harmless. Actually, having a rich inner world allows one to see and experience things that all too many people miss out on. It's also good to have strong feelings about things and people you see. Just keep it positive, and it's pretty natural as far as I'm concerned. But always remember also to view and accept things as they actually are. For example, in relationships, if you meet someone who would just be great if only they did something differently, don't expect them to change any time too soon.

    A lot of people would probably think what I just typed sounds ridiculous, and I can understand why someone might think that. But, I still think an inner life is very important, as long as it's directed towards positive thoughts and feelings.
    A hero is someone who does the right thing without expectation of reward, just because it's the right thing to do.

  10. #10
    Member DisneyFanGirl's Avatar
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    My best friend does this constantly, though she has objects of her affection that are real as well. It might be an INFJ thing. I don't really obsess over fictional characters...

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