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  1. #1
    Junior Member Little Buddha's Avatar
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    Default Communication and sincerity

    I'm an INFJ and I truly dislike anything that's phoney, artificial and shallow.

    When I was a child I was told that I was naive for believing too much in things that I heard or read. I had some sort of inherent ability to trust in people and believe that whatever they communicated held some sort of truth - I guess I transposed the way I communicate onto other people thinking they were much like me.

    I've changed my view in the meantime though.

    When I communicate it's of highly importance to me to be authentic and sincere. I even feel I have a personal and social responsibility to tell the truth, sometimes in all its complexities, and I have a very hard time to compromise this worth even though I know that it's necessary for me to do so in order to communicate in a more efficient manner.

    Does anyone of you INFJ's (or other NF's) recognize this pattern of thought and feeling?
    Last edited by Little Buddha; 04-27-2008 at 06:10 AM. Reason: Type error
    Be your own lamp - question authority

  2. #2
    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    Oh yeah. That's very familiar. All of it.

    I also changed my view through adolescence, but never my attitude. I just communicate in a very open & honest way out of idealism. I don't think that's naieve. Eventhough I've been called naieve on numerous occasions.
    To me, what is really naieve, is to behave closeminded and communicate in a defensive way. Because if you don't start with yourself then you can't expect of others to be aproachable, open, trustworthy, and so on.
    Fortunately my intuïtion also makes me cautious enough around the "wrong" kind of people.

    I've also experience most people refuse to give up their image, or character, for the higher good (ie. openly showing kindness, compassion, connecting ...).

  3. #3
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    You speak of truth and sincerity, of course all virtues...

    But have you ever not been able to tell when you are lying?

  4. #4
    Senior Member sriv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Buddha View Post
    I even feel I have a personal and social responsibility to tell the truth, sometimes in all its complexities, and I have a very hard time to compromise this worth even though I know that it's necessary for me to do so in order to communicate in a more efficient manner.
    Not only to communicate in a more efficient manner, but to get your way on things as well.
    Reyson: ...If you were to change your ways, I'm sure we could rebuild the relationship the two of us once shared.

    Naesala: Oh no, that I could never do. You see, humans are essential to the fulfillment of my ambitions.

    Reyson: You've changed, Naesala. If this is the path you've chosen, I've nothing left to say.

  5. #5
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Yes. For the longest time I dislike phoniness and shallow insincerity...

    Only to realize that I am deceiving myself to think I'm not one as well. I'm a hypocrite.

    It's all in how you look at it... the context. So I try to refrain judgment. Otherwise I would not be able to forgive myself.

  6. #6
    Procrastinating
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Buddha View Post
    I'm an INFJ and I truly dislike anything that's phoney, artificial and shallow.

    When I was a child I was told that I was naive for believing too much in things that I heard or read. I had some sort of inherent ability to trust in people and believe that whatever they communicated held some sort of truth - I guess I transposed the way I communicate onto other people thinking they were much like me.

    I've changed my view in the meantime though.

    When I communicate it's of highly importance to me to be authentic and sincere. I even feel I have a personal and social responsibility to tell the truth, sometimes in all its complexities, and I have a very hard time to compromise this worth even though I know that it's necessary for me to do so in order to communicate in a more efficient manner.

    Does anyone of you INFJ's (or other NF's) recognize this pattern of thought and feeling?
    I have the same issues. I think most use themselves as a yardstick with others and I learned the "hard way" too. I've never been able to let go of the authenticity thing and that, sadly, decreases my possibilities for a social life. I would usually rather be alone than around those I have to put on an act to get along with. Most people react to me as if I'm some sort of alien unless I put on what seem to me to be rather extreme social graces and, since I often don't know exactly what those are with this one or that, I just mainly keep to myself.

  7. #7
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Buddha View Post
    I'm an INFJ and I truly dislike anything that's phoney, artificial and shallow.

    When I was a child I was told that I was naive for believing too much in things that I heard or read. I had some sort of inherent ability to trust in people and believe that whatever they communicated held some sort of truth - I guess I transposed the way I communicate onto other people thinking they were much like me.

    I've changed my view in the meantime though.

    When I communicate it's of highly importance to me to be authentic and sincere. I even feel I have a personal and social responsibility to tell the truth, sometimes in all its complexities, and I have a very hard time to compromise this worth even though I know that it's necessary for me to do so in order to communicate in a more efficient manner.

    Does anyone of you INFJ's (or other NF's) recognize this pattern of thought and feeling?
    I am very much like what you described there.

  8. #8
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Yes
    I N V I C T U S

  9. #9
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    For all intents and purposes I am allergic to phoniness, for upon my witnessing it I tend to get ill.

    More so than content of what's being spoken, I value the sincerity of what's being spoken. I care about the truth, and I'll deal with the truth, no matter how disconcerting it may be.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  10. #10
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Though I try and try, I still don't know how to tell the truth. I can sound quite sincere, but I still don't know if I say what I mean. Mostly, words just come out.

    Would and NF tell me to stop talking, then?

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