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  1. #21
    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    I do tend to feel people's pain, & I wouldn't change it. It doesn't really make it harder to live, since it's a different feeling than inner depression. It just makes you feel more serious, less pointless.

    Yeah, i wouldn't change it. When i'm in a public place my attentions naturally draw to the person who seems the most fucked-up & miserable, & then I spend all my energy wondering what they're thinking about.
    RCUAI
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    "Man is free, but his freedom ceases when he has no faith in it."

  2. #22
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Oh, yes, our double edged Fi. That's what this is... I feel so much better now.

    @Nicodemus I kind of remember Cze's vibe list.. haha, it did seem kind of disparate. Maybe you all vibed as stranger danger.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Anybody feel similar?
    Yup. And I don't know if it's really e-gram related, I'm a 4. I agree/identify with almost everything in this thread. One thing I will add (don't think it was mentioned) is that while I can empathize a great deal with situations, I would describe myself as more inspired than empathetic. I believe, unconditionally, in the ability for humans to prevail almost any circumstance. I did not always feel this way either. Interaction with people personally and professionally aided it.

    There is not a circumstance that cannot be improved through perception, knowledge and effort. No matter what physical condition one may be in, no matter how limited their resource.. they always have the choice to find something good, anything, and focus on it. Be grateful. Now obviously this could be extraordinarily difficult for say, a starving african child with flies on their face. Its gut-wrenching to be sure.. but there is always something that can make a persons existance less painful. It almost always involves focusing on what good you have, love and gratitude.

    I used to 'put myself in others shoes' quite a bit, and then I'd come out horrified for how they must be feeling. There is a danger in assumptions, especially when a very sensitive person is doing the assuming. I might observe a very obese person walking down the hall at work and think to myself "How sad. That person wouldn't even look me in the eye. I wonder if they have been treated poorly their whole life, people can be so unkind. I bet peoples hurtful words have impacted that persons self-esteem. I bet they are very sad inside." Why? Why do I assume this person must hurt as I would? Perhaps they are more resilient? Perhaps they are less sensitive? Perhaps they are smarter and less affected by what idiots have to say? Perhaps my very thoughts are what are hurtful. I think you get the point. While identification with humanity IS a good thing (because I believe through this identification it makes us more aware of our actions) I also think it can be taken too far.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  4. #24
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrystalViolet View Post
    If your heart bled for every wrong and injustice, you wouldn't stay sane for very long. I know peeps like that and they aren't. Save your compassion for people who deserve it. I think truly sensitive people get a little battle hardened. As one would in a world where it's seen as a weakness. That's why I tend to like animals more. For some reason it's considered a good thing if you are kind to animals.
    Even from the perspective of tertiary Fi, the comments on Fi so far make sense. I can't tell with any certainty whether someone deserves compassion unless I know them, and even then, it can be hard to judge. I am much more likely to feel compassion for a broad group of people (e.g. the homeless) than specific individuals. In acting on my compassion, I try to do what will achieve the most good. This is as much a function of what my resources and abilities are, as what the needs are. I can't fix the world, but if I (and each of us) pick one or two areas where I (we) can actually make a difference, the world will be a better place.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #25
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    This is a thing that's hard to put into words.

    I get into modes where I reflect upon the state of the world and wind up focusing on the negatives--especially when it comes to those in circumstances much worse than my own, especially those with mindsets that don't seem to allow them to escape their situations, and the pain that they 'must,' in my estimation at the time, be feeling. Of course, there's a lot of subjectivity, projection, and some inevitable naivete involved in my estimations--they're definitely not perfect.

    The farther away something is from us--be it a person, a situation, a mindset--the more difficult it is for us to control. Of course, even controlling ourselves is difficult. Like @cascadeco, I try to focus on the things within my immediate influence first--and the thing that's under my most immediate influence is my own perception.

  6. #26
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    Feeling is a judging process. Its how you decide on whats important to you. A very coarse description would be to say that Thinking is 'True/False' and Feeling is "Agreeable/Disagreeable"

    You should be able to look at a place in the world where people are suffering and understand that what is happening is wrong. But the vast majority of the people aren't going to do anything actionable about it. So if you turn around and let those emotions effect your real life relationships then its not a healthy reaction.

    Or with your initial example if you're letting someone take advantage of you or you're going to suffer then generally that is a failure of balancing your judging reactions. Another thing to keep in mind is that its still just the judging process with how you decide things. Feeling can 'Dislike' just as well as it can 'like'.

    I'm sure you're more empathetic than you think. Its illogical to be miserable because of the state of the world. But the world is also a thing. If you're an enfp you're going to empathize with people more than things. But being an ENFP also means you've got the intuition to see the empathy on both sides of a conflict.

  7. #27
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    People would be a wreck if they let in all the problems of the world. It's a protective mechanism. I know personally, if I let my guard down a little bit a lot of crap pours in and then I can end up rather angry and bitter and upset. Gotta kind of glaze over things as a protective mechanism to function well. True for anyone, any type, I think. Just some may be more prone towards it than others.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
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    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
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  8. #28
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    Thread has Fi written all over it.

  9. #29
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    Thread has Fi written all over it.
    :girlpower:

    Wait a minute.... Was this meant to offend my value of being a unique individual???

    :SaiyanSmilie_anim:
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  10. #30
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    I do feel the worlds pain though. Not all of the time but theres are times when i think i could conbust with the suffering of others. For real. I don't push it away mostly but i do have to cut of in order to carry on living.
    I have moments of revelation when i think my heart could burst. Those times i feel like a warrior and i need to fight, to charge at the world for all it's cruelty. I can be very emo.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

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