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  1. #1
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
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    Default What good would an NF see in an NT as a romantic partner?

    I was thinking about how much I like NF's, especially ENFJ and INFJ types (ones with Fe), because I really like a girl who is empathetic and nurturing. I guess I never really thought much about how others might not be interested in that at all. I also realized that I have no idea why someone would be romantically interested in an NT, with the exception of girls liking ENTJ's.

    I guess if I got more generalized, I'd ask why anybody would be interested in NT's romantically. If I got more specific, I would ask why an NF would choose an INTP partner over other types. If I got really specific, I would ask about INFJ's liking INTP's over other types. I mean I just can't imagine someone going around thinking they would really like to be with an INTP rather than some other type, except maybe if they were an NTP type themselves.

    I'd break it down like this:

    ENTJ - some people would like their leadership, their focus, their competence, and possibly even their money

    INTJ - some people would like their intelligence, their wit, and they're good at many things.

    ENTP - they can be funny and good sources of information to analyze, but it's INTP's who really like analyzing info all day.

    INTP - they can be really unusual and funny, and they are very low maintenance and are often okay staring at the ceiling or the wall for hours depending on which comfortable position they happen to be in, although, they'd rather be reading a book, playing a video game, watching a video, or surfing the web. A lack of hygiene and/or grooming and a lack of social interactions, or at least comfortable, high quality social interactions, can help ensure that your INTP will be yours exclusively.

    All of that stuff sounds so cold and unappealing to me, and I can't understand why somebody would want to be in a relationship for any of that without it being based in fear or compromise.

  2. #2
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I think the NF-NT thing is somewhat over-idealized... It's kind of funny, because so many people on a forum such as this pretty much reject Keirsey's take on MBTI, but he totally idealizes that pairing and so do a lot of people, it seems.

    I'd probably prefer to be with a T partner, but not necessarily a super-strong T...just someone more logical/practical and less emotional than me...I'm not sure about N/S, though. I've been finding the whole N/S thing increasingly nebulous and hard to quantify, of late. I suppose an N/S gap could lead to further communication difficulties, but I also think this gets idealized and people often assume that communication between two Ns will be far superior. I think there's plenty of evidence to indicate that is not necessarily the case.
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  3. #3
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I think the NF-NT thing is somewhat over-idealized... It's kind of funny, because so many people on a forum such as this pretty much reject Keirsey's take on MBTI, but he totally idealizes that pairing and so do a lot of people, it seems.

    I'd probably prefer to be with a T partner, but not necessarily a super-strong T...just someone more logical/practical and less emotional than me...I'm not sure about N/S, though. I've been finding the whole N/S thing increasingly nebulous and hard to quantify, of late. I suppose an N/S gap could lead to further communication difficulties, but I also think this gets idealized and people often assume that communication between two Ns will be far superior. I think there's plenty of evidence to indicate that is not necessarily the case.
    I think N/S differences result in differing values more so than difficulty communicating.

  4. #4
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FFF View Post
    I think N/S differences result in differing values more so than difficulty communicating.
    Can you elaborate on this? I'm curious as to what you mean. I think I know plenty of Sensors with whom I share similar values...but it may depend on what you mean by values.

    In terms of the main premise of this thread... My knowledge of or encounters with male NTs (ie. those I might be interested in romantically) have suggested that they're often too arrogant or too detached from reality for my taste. But I'm a fairly down-to-earth flavour of INFJ...
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  5. #5
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Can you elaborate on this? I'm curious as to what you mean. I think I know plenty of Sensors with whom I share similar values...but it may depend on what you mean by values.
    An apple falls to the ground, and an S type sees an apple that fell on the ground. The N type wants to know why the apple fell on the ground, what could be done to prevent apples from falling to the ground or how they might be collected as they fall. The S type is like, "Shut up. The apple fell on the ground. That's what apples do."

  6. #6
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FFF View Post
    An apple falls to the ground, and an S type sees an apple that fell on the ground. The N type wants to know why the apple fell on the ground, what could be done to prevent apples from falling to the ground or how they might be collected as they fall. The S type is like, "Shut up. The apple fell on the ground. That's what apples do."
    I think that might be over-generalizing though. What if the S is in the business of...making apples fall on the ground less, or something? Or reducing the bruising? The N type might raise the points you mention above, but the S type might actually be more ready to find real-world solutions while the N might want to keep pondering it on a philosophical level and not do anything much about it. Just a thought.

    This is something which comes up a lot on this forum. I'm inclined to think that either N or S types can hold any set of beliefs, choose any path in life, etc, but the difference will lie in how they go about fulfilling those beliefs and paths, what approaches are most effective for them, etc. There are few things that put my back up more than people saying things like "all SJs vote Conservative" or "how can an NT ever be religious?"
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  7. #7
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I think that might be over-generalizing though. What if the S is in the business of...making apples fall on the ground less, or something? Or reducing the bruising? The N type might raise the points you mention above, but the S type might actually be more ready to find real-world solutions while the N might want to keep pondering it on a philosophical level and not do anything much about it. Just a thought.

    This is something which comes up a lot on this forum. I'm inclined to think that either N or S types can hold any set of beliefs, choose any path in life, etc, but the difference will lie in how they go about fulfilling those beliefs and paths, what approaches are most effective for them, etc. There are few things that put my back up more than people saying things like "all SJs vote Conservative" or "how can an NT ever be religious?"
    As far as my example, I just can't think of a good one cause it's 4:30 in the morning, and I should probably be in bed. S types would rather not get into apple falling theories and philosophy. The apple fell. Let's find something else or do something else.

    I know an SJ liberal/democrat, and I would be pinned as a religious NT.

  8. #8
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    I like NT's just because I value N conversations, NP's particularly. I think as long as the NT isn't too harsh and has a well developed soft side, the relationship can go really well.
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  9. #9
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animenagai View Post
    I like NT's just because I value N conversations, NP's particularly. I think as long as the NT isn't too harsh and has a well developed soft side, the relationship can go really well.
    I don't have a soft side. I'm tough. I'm hard as nails. I'm... okay I do, but most people don't get to see it.

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    I'm wondering the same thing, except also in reverse.
    I think it has a lot to do with being interested in each other's field of thoughts and supporting it with your own methods, and this seems to require a mild T and / or a mild F. Strong Ts will totally reject concepts such as spirituality, while strong Fs will have serious issues doing proper analysis. These persons would fare better with similar types, I believe.

    Me, I seem to have a problem with NFJs (and even moreso with SFJs) because I don't like Fe much. I see strong Fe people as having no personal opinion, instead following the social trend in their attempt to socially please everyone. It's not that I enjoy hurting others at all, but I won't pretend to be what I'm not just to please them. Also I have nothing against altruism but I'm not looking to be "nurtured".
    On the other hand, Fi I can be interested in. I seem to have a rather high Fi myself, having strong personal values (but not always following them... must work on this!) and frequently asking myself where true happiness comes from.

    (I'm not yet an expert on cognitive functions so please correct me if I've made a mistake in my definitions.)

    I see N / S as a mediocre long-term pairing. Not because of values, but because of a lack of common interests. The pairing certainly can trigger attraction (pretty much any combination can) but they tend to have radically different fields of interest, and this becomes apparent after they've spent enough time together.
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