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[MBTI General] What good would an NF see in an NT as a romantic partner?

S

Society

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I'd probably prefer to be with a T partner, but not necessarily a super-strong T...just someone more logical/practical and less emotional than me...

have you being in one or is this theoretical? either way: how do you think you would deal with Aux:Fe/Ti vs. Ter:Ti/Fe?

it seems subtle i know, but you might be surprised at how meaningful of a difference it can be: the ENTP (who we will pretend isn't me) will be cut-throat deducting and seeking after the objective truth when the INFJ (who we will pretend isn't my ex-wife) are looking at the subjective, and vise versa. if he tries to relate to hard to your Fe and jumps Ti, we get an Ne-Fe loop and narcissistic tendencies show up, Fe used negatively may use its awareness of the cultural standards of others to intentionally offend or upset them, in order to service Ne's curiosity about the patterns in their responses, and if you try to relate to hard to his Ti and jump Fe, we get an Ni-Ti loop and Schizoid symptoms show up, pulling you into your own abstract world, constantly second-guessing yourself as Ti poses a framework for a problem and Ni shoots it down as too definitionally precise.

such a small difference - merely a matter of timing really - but things can go really crazy... there has to be a way to avoid this, but i have not figured out how yet.
 

Betty Blue

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INTP - they can be really unusual and funny, and they are very low maintenance and are often okay staring at the ceiling or the wall for hours depending on which comfortable position they happen to be in, although, they'd rather be reading a book, playing a video game, watching a video, or surfing the web. A lack of hygiene and/or grooming and a lack of social interactions, or at least comfortable, high quality social interactions, can help ensure that your INTP will be yours exclusively.

All of that stuff sounds so cold and unappealing to me, and I can't understand why somebody would want to be in a relationship for any of that without it being based in fear or compromise.


:wubbie: at the bolded, made me smile, haha.
 

FFF

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:wubbie: at the bolded, made me smile, haha.

I think really that has to do with really strong introversion. I can think about stuff for hours without any input before I get anxious and bored, and in such a state I might appear to be staring at the wall or ceiling to somebody who isn't introverted.
 

INTP

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The idea bothers me that you need to get into relationship with somebody because it would fix you in some way. Like and F needs a T to anchor them. No doubt, it would be a nice aside, but shouldn't we all just get our shit together?

Agreed, i think its much better idea to develope your weak sides, instead of finding someone to compliment your weaknesses or fix those things in you, you need to learn how to do it yourself. Now this kinda changes after you have already developed those sides in you to some degree that are tye strenghts of others, i think then there will be a good balance. Ying yang baby, each side has to have some of the other.
 

runvardh

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I think really that has to do with really strong introversion. I can think about stuff for hours without any input before I get anxious and bored, and in such a state I might appear to be staring at the wall or ceiling to somebody who isn't introverted.

There are times one would like to talk to the person staring at the wall, but fearing interrupting them.
 

Betty Blue

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I think really that has to do with really strong introversion. I can think about stuff for hours without any input before I get anxious and bored, and in such a state I might appear to be staring at the wall or ceiling to somebody who isn't introverted.

Yah i got it, it was cute.:smile:
 

entropie

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Regarding infps I basically like everything about them. They need a firey temperament tho or a volatile nature combined with a huge portion of intellect and the ability to grow and reflect themselves. Too much Stubborness would be a deal breaker. I can dream with my infp all day long, she says about me that she has at the same time the feeling that I am letting her fullspace to be herself while giving her the feeling that I love her and wont ever let her down. Guess those are two difficult items to combine and I guess I am just lucky they are working. :)

enfjs I like as well, like their ways and their sense of style and grace. I only fear they'ld break my heart; I think I couldnt ever trust an enfj.

With infjs I only attract males, whats not bad as well :).

And enfps and me regulary end up arguing heavily whats sad but a fact.

I too think the relationship NT and NF is overidealized. The thing is idealism, which refers to NFs, tends to be directed towards people and not facts. That, in essence, is the most hurtful thing for NTs.
 

Winds of Thor

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enfjs I like as well, like their ways and their sense of style and grace. I only fear they'ld break my heart; I think I couldnt ever trust an enfj.

I wonder now what the differences are in your interactions with ENFJs. My experience is consistent with them and it's like I'm a magnet they move towards and open up. It's the most paradoxical thing I've ever experienced with the opposite sex. Interestingly, looks don't seem to matter. I mean drop-dead hot women included. Not that I'm game with external beauty alone..

With infjs I only attract males, whats not bad as well :).

Were they wearing dark eyeliner makeup too, like the female INFJs? :)

And enfps and me regulary end up arguing heavily whats sad but a fact.
This has been precisely my experience with ENFPs too.

I too think the relationship NT and NF is overidealized. The thing is idealism, which refers to NFs, tends to be directed towards people and not facts. That, in essence, is the most hurtful thing for NTs.
Does this mean most hurtful because it's harder to relate to the default empathy so common to NFs? And this feels like a contest with the NT in the analysis getting judged inadequate for the NF? ;)
 

Winds of Thor

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Well sure. But then fair is fair. the feeler'd better be good at the T stuff. Or... (it'll suck for everybody)

Yes you are right on! Thanks.
 

Winds of Thor

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It bothers me how distorted and subjective the human mind is, and I wish there was a way to get beyond those limitations.


You're on the right track with being around an NT. I don't know your NT (at least I don't think I do) but they generally become sharper with age. Rational objectivity is a learned skill. Although I would agree that bias is innate to all people, still objectivity can be learned to a great level of reassurance and attainment.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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You're on the right track with being around an NT. I don't know your NT (at least I don't think I do) but they generally become sharper with age. Rational objectivity is a learned skill. Although I would agree that bias is innate to all people, still objectivity can be learned to a great level of reassurance and attainment.
I managed to find a powerhouse for rationality and clarity to spend my life with. I think my IQ has probably gone up a few points having lived with him four years now. We read and we listen to recorded books while driving about sociology, complex adaptive systems, political history and philosophy, social networks, Buddhist writings, psychology, biographies of great scientists, etc. We were recently listening to "Thinking Fast and Slow" by Kahneman which explores the mind's limitations in statistical thinking. That has really triggered my desire to recalibrate my mind to better comprehend reality - at least to whatever extent that is possible. I appreciated a compliment he gave describing me as rigorous about being internally coherent, and I do work and make personal sacrifices towards that end.

He was on these forums years ago and some people remember him (HilbertSpace). :)
 

Winds of Thor

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I managed to find a powerhouse for rationality and clarity to spend my life with. I think my IQ has probably gone up a few points having lived with him four years now. We read and we listen to recorded books while driving about sociology, complex adaptive systems, political history and philosophy, social networks, Buddhist writings, psychology, biographies of great scientists, etc. We were recently listening to "Thinking Fast and Slow" by Kahneman which explores the mind's limitations in statistical thinking. That has really triggered my desire to recalibrate my mind to better comprehend reality - at least to whatever extent that is possible. I appreciated a compliment he gave describing me as rigorous about being internally coherent, and I do work and make personal sacrifices towards that end.

He was on these forums years ago and some people remember him (HilbertSpace). :)

Hmm I haven't had the pleasure. He surely is a wonderful and great guy to be around for you.
 
A

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I was thinking about how much I like NF's, especially ENFJ and INFJ types (ones with Fe), because I really like a girl who is empathetic and nurturing. I guess I never really thought much about how others might not be interested in that at all. I also realized that I have no idea why someone would be romantically interested in an NT, with the exception of girls liking ENTJ's.

I guess if I got more generalized, I'd ask why anybody would be interested in NT's romantically. If I got more specific, I would ask why an NF would choose an INTP partner over other types. If I got really specific, I would ask about INFJ's liking INTP's over other types. I mean I just can't imagine someone going around thinking they would really like to be with an INTP rather than some other type, except maybe if they were an NTP type themselves.

I'd break it down like this:

ENTJ - some people would like their leadership, their focus, their competence, and possibly even their money :D

INTJ - some people would like their intelligence, their wit, and they're good at many things.

ENTP - they can be funny and good sources of information to analyze, but it's INTP's who really like analyzing info all day.

INTP - they can be really unusual and funny, and they are very low maintenance and are often okay staring at the ceiling or the wall for hours depending on which comfortable position they happen to be in, although, they'd rather be reading a book, playing a video game, watching a video, or surfing the web. A lack of hygiene and/or grooming and a lack of social interactions, or at least comfortable, high quality social interactions, can help ensure that your INTP will be yours exclusively.

All of that stuff sounds so cold and unappealing to me, and I can't understand why somebody would want to be in a relationship for any of that without it being based in fear or compromise.

@Bold. I find that INTPs and their low maintenance can be rather deceptive. I had an INTP friend who would tell me that I could contact him whenever I wished to so long as I understand that it may take him a bit to get back to me. So I would contact him when I felt the desire to communicate some irresistable amazing idea, and I would happily wait for his response. Instead I would get some cold email telling me that I am pressuring him with too much contact (an email and a text message over the course of a week) and to leave him alone.

I am happy giving introverts their space because that's what they need, but I dislike a disconnect between what is said and what is actually done. If what is preferred is that I leave them alone until they contact me, that's fine, but just state it already.

If I can find an INTP who does what he says and says what he does, I will die a very happy person.
 

DisneyFanGirl

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NTs have a similar way of thinking and seeing the world but they're more likely to be more realistic. Sometimes the fantasy world of the NF can take them so far away they need an NT to balance that out without ripping it away from them. That's what I like about NTs.
 

INTP

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If I can find an INTP who does what he says and says what he does, I will die a very happy person.

Sure you would like a boyfriend who is mute?

Anyways that guy has some problems obviously.

Personally i have been trained to keep my words, thats why i prefer not to promise things unless im 100% sure i can make it happen or prefer to promise try to make x happen.

I think that the low maintaince thing is more about INTPs being quite modest in their needs(except maybe with amount of sex).
 
A

Anew Leaf

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Sure you would like a boyfriend who is mute?

Anyways that guy has some problems obviously.

Personally i have been trained to keep my words, thats why i prefer not to promise things unless im 100% sure i can make it happen or prefer to promise try to make x happen.

I think that the low maintaince thing is more about INTPs being quite modest in their needs(except maybe with amount of sex).

Good point, :laugh:. I do find introverts attractive though. It's a coup getting one to chat and laugh and open up with me.

And I can see your last point about that. Although males of any type are usually not so modest on that. :laugh:
 

FFF

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@Bold. I find that INTPs and their low maintenance can be rather deceptive. I had an INTP friend who would tell me that I could contact him whenever I wished to so long as I understand that it may take him a bit to get back to me. So I would contact him when I felt the desire to communicate some irresistable amazing idea, and I would happily wait for his response. Instead I would get some cold email telling me that I am pressuring him with too much contact (an email and a text message over the course of a week) and to leave him alone.

I am happy giving introverts their space because that's what they need, but I dislike a disconnect between what is said and what is actually done. If what is preferred is that I leave them alone until they contact me, that's fine, but just state it already.

If I can find an INTP who does what he says and says what he does, I will die a very happy person.

I wouldn't respond like that with someone I actually like. Maybe someone I don't like. If you were calling me everyday and yapping your head off, I would probably want you to leave me alone for awhile. Actually, sometimes I even close AIM to avoid an ENTP friend online cause he types too damn much for me to be doing anything else while talking to him. I'll go look at a web page a bit and have 8-10 lines to catch up on.

Sometimes INTP's and I imagine all NP's can be so complex and random that anybody would have a hard time defining what they do and what they like. It's like trying to define the music I like. I always end up breaking my own rules.
 

entropie

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Sometimes INTP's and I imagine all NP's can be so complex and random that anybody would have a hard time defining what they do and what they like. It's like trying to define the music I like. I always end up breaking my own rules.

Ouh yes ! Who needs NFs anyways ! :D

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R-z2VsPeG4&feature=related"].[/YOUTUBE]
 

xenaprincess

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I'm not sure how we make our romantic 'choices', if you can term it that way.
The other day, I was wondering, how come I'm with this tough INTJ guy who is incredibly buttoned up, not too romantic, and sometimes has a hard time relating to how I feel? Recently, I've been fantasizing about being with the 'sensitive guy'.

For some reason, I've wound up being friends with NT people, and feeling more comfortable with them, than F people. I think this is because my F is really internalized. I moan and groan on occasion, but only a lucky few get to hear my scathing thoughts :D
 
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