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Thread: Do Women Try and Fatten Up Boyfriends?

  1. #41
    Mr. Blue Array entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    screw the weight: did you find her physically attractive?

    i don't care if its her figure, the fat in right places, the curves of her neck or the shape of her earlobe...
    what people like is subjective, there's no moral high grounds to take there because its not an actual choice we make.

    now focus: did you find something about her physically attractive?
    have you ever fallen for someone you don't find physically attractive at all?
    Well I wont deny that everyone subconciously is acting according to some hunting pattern of his own but to go as far and say that you are a complete victim to that, sounds unthinkable to me. That sounds more like someone who tries to get off the hook and have a clean conciencse while doing immorale things.

    Morale so much isnt my point. I basically answered your question. Its the personality that I find attractive and the personality forms the exterior. So its gestures the way she smiles, even the way she brushes her teeth what I find totally physically attractive. Hard facts, like breast size or if she has long legs, well thats sensor thinking. I have a very abstract perception and image of what I find attractive.


    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Too late. You're an arrogant European!
    the sad thing is, I even thought about your reply as a compliment :/
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    ~Persuasion - by Jane Austen

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Its the personality that I find attractive and the personality forms the exterior. So its gestures the way she smiles, even the way she brushes her teeth what I find totally physically attractive.
    sexy smile or aw-she's-happy smile? gestures can be sexy in themselves, but are you talking sexy as they are, or sexy through your specific associations with her?

    and gestures aside, there is nothing you'd consider shallow or static about her body that you like? if you didn't know her and met her today (i am guessing you originally where friends), knowing nothing about her, you would experience no sexual attraction towards her whatsoever?

    if i am getting this right, then you are practically saying you are a demisexual- someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction until the love hormones start singing. nothing to do with functions - i've noticed you guys come in all typologies & even those of dominant Si/Se and Ni/Ne inferior - but you are sitll a member of a unique breed my man, a very rare and unique breed.

    and to answer your questions - as far as i and most other non-demisexuals (as far as i noticed) experience it, there is no dichotomy between shallow attraction and deeper attraction, they each contribute (or detract) and you need both to form the required infatuation that is often needed alongside intimacy (sharing a connection and information), mutual commitments and assortment of positive associations and feelings to form deep romantic connection to start growing. after that, the attraction is often sustained regardless, but without all those elements it simply isn't going to grow organically for me, and i can't really force it, nor do i see why i would want too.

    and yes i am probably one of the many many people who have made someone feel like crap by noticing the better looking person sitting besides them, another entry in the statistic that convinces marketers to put the good looking ones on the billboards and make completely normal people walking besides them question their beauty and develop insecurities with a side chance of snowballing into full blown body issues, another number in the studies showing more attractive people get better tips, more help from strangers, higher sales rates and lower bargaining rates, and even higher employment rates. not to mention the hypocracy - my own body is far from perfect.

    but no, i generally can't say i experience shame or guilt for it - do you feel guilty because your need to eat adds to the price of food and increases the world's malnourished population? do you feel guilty for your carbon footprint? or for having savings or material good you could live without and could easily sell on ebay and give every extra coin to doctors without boarders or any other charity?

  3. #43

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    Why is this thread in the NF sub-forum?

    Are NFs more likely to do this to their mates?

  4. #44
    Mr. Blue Array entropie's Avatar
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    Oh gosh, why do you write such long posts, you aint american are you ?

    I'll try and answer:

    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    sexy smile or aw-she's-happy smile? gestures can be sexy in themselves, but are you talking sexy as they are, or sexy through your specific associations with her?

    and gestures aside, there is nothing you'd consider shallow or static about her body that you like? if you didn't know her and met her today (i am guessing you originally where friends), knowing nothing about her, you would experience no sexual attraction towards her whatsoever?
    Think I can answer that with one sentence: I met her on the internet. I chatted with her for a good four weeks before we met the first time. In that time I only had a picture of her but I eminently fell in love with her way of thinking back then. I have always felt like a loner in life, up to this point; when I met another loner. She could have been my twin sister, we had so many shared experiences, I never met such a wise individuum in all my life before.

    if i am getting this right, then you are practically saying you are a demisexual- someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction until the love hormones start singing. nothing to do with functions - i've noticed you guys come in all typologies & even those of dominant Si/Se and Ni/Ne inferior - but you are sitll a member of a unique breed my man, a very rare and unique breed.
    That's not fully true. I experience the same sexual attraction to woman like probably everybody else. Like the Todd from Scrubs would say: "When I saw that legs, I felt it move."

    I am a person with a high need for integrity. When I was young I thought it was because I am from a military family but thats not true. Nowadays I have a different interpretation. For me the most beautiful thing to have in the World is being understood by others. Thats tho too the thing I never had in my life, cause when I was younger, I was far worser at voicing myself and my language was one of images and irrationality. I have a fundamental good ability to feel my way thru a situation. This isnt because I am so good with people. Regarding knowing what people think or feel I suck. But I have a talent for creating drama, leaving an impression or attracting the audiences attention. I can feel what they want and this ability has brought me far so far in life.
    On the other hand it is the bane of my existence. Cause I am a pro when I am alone, but when I am in company people ruin it for me and the coolness I build up for myself to not be forced to show my emotions, runs down the sewer. So I have retreated into my shell a lot and in group situations I tended to be very quiet and only responded when I needed to. That has brought me into developing a reality of my own, one I like more than the real World.

    Since my birth I was obsessed with the thought of 'dieing for a good cause'. This is some kind of heroic victim personality. I had about a billion of dreams when I was young, how I was to save my school, friends, the World and never asked for a thank you. Batman was my idol cause he was that dark superhero I could identify with. Cause despite all these thoughts nobody knew about it and nobody knew me.

    In my early teens this developed into a developed longing for a different World and a celebration of loneliness. I was Gothic back then, walked around with dark leather trenchcoats and instilled fear in people. This was the more cool version of an emo. When I got older tho and got back to looking normal, this isolation against the World somehow transformed into frustration about the World. I started to become hypercritical, misanthropic and self-loathing. And all the story ended in a serious alcoholic illness. To recuperate at some point wasnt possible no more, cause I was drunk every night.

    And then I met my girlfriend. I being a choosey, world-loathing misanthropic who didnt let anybody near him, met his twin sister. She was like me, even worse she already tried to kill herself while I was still thinking about it.
    So it wasnt like my sudden choice to change myself, no it was like meeting an angel; someone who has exactly the same problems like you do and together you can try and pull yourself together. And we managed.

    The memory that remains from this shared experience is an eternal one. Its a lifetime bond that wont seperate us never again. Thats how it feels. We have had a lot of ups and downs argued, tried to find ourselves, but we are at this point and now we are starting to experience the real world for the first time on our own. At the beginning we werent able to cope with all the pressure and demand for responsibility the real world has, but we get better any day. And when we managed that challenge, we'll grow again, form a family together test ourselves as parents and learn.

    the whole life is constant growth and a learning experience and my goal in life is becoming old and wise and I like to do that with a partner with whom later I can talk about everything we experienced together. Remember actions you could never remember with a stranger.
    Bad Santa
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    ~Persuasion - by Jane Austen

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    first of all disclaimer: @entropie - it sounds like you have an excellent level of mental and emotional intimacy which i don't really want to go further exploring or questioning on it's owns level (it's already making me miss my exwife terribly), so don't take my throwback to the previous focus point as cold or ignoring what your saying as a whole.

    now, would you say you have fallen inlove with her online prior to meeting her?
    where you actually sexually aroused at the thought of her at that point?
    was not using a webcam a choice or simply a consequence of lacking one?

    if you would have met her in real life prior to meeting her online, if the bond wasn't there and her smile carried no associations, would you have still "felt the move" at your first impression?
    is it possible that with the way you think of her right now you would be incapable of forming that distance from her image to actually answer that question?
    alternatively: would you find someone else having similar physical features to her but none of the same internal content attractive?

  6. #46
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Women in some traditional mothering roles are often encouraging their children and family to eat. I don't think it is necessarily about "fattening people up", although I have heard those kinds of references in general from some traditional mothering roles.

    People do gain weight more easily when middle-aged, and so once people are married they do tend to gain weight. Also, if there are children or busy careers people tend to eat quickly prepared foods which have higher sugar and fat content. You also get used to eating too fast which makes it easy to overeat. Eating slowly gives your body more time to respond to feeling full.

    Schedule and context play a role. If you are single it is easier to skip a meal even by mistake, but if you eat with a partner or other people in a family, you are less likely to skip meals.
    The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
    The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN

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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    People do gain weight more easily when middle-aged, and so once people are married they do tend to gain weight. Also, if there are children or busy careers people tend to eat quickly prepared foods which have higher sugar and fat content.
    regarding careers that's a snacking-habit invite, but with children it worked the other way around for me: gave me a reason to always cook organized healthy well invested meals because there's a little guy who needs them, something which i find it very difficult to do for myself otherwise. it's not fun to cook for myself really....

  8. #48
    Mr. Blue Array entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    first of all disclaimer: @entropie - it sounds like you have an excellent level of mental and emotional intimacy which i don't really want to go further exploring or questioning on it's owns level (it's already making me miss my exwife terribly), so don't take my throwback to the previous focus point as cold or ignoring what your saying as a whole.
    I'm sorry to hear that but thanks for sharing.

    now, would you say you have fallen inlove with her online prior to meeting her?
    No that in case not. When I first met her I was very attracted to her. She had an intresting personality one that directly fueled my curiosity. On the first date I had like 5 beer because I was so nervous and left an impression with her, cause she never met someone who talked as much as she usually does. I had a different impression tho, cause she didnt talk at all. On the second date then she dragged me to her apartment and thats when the first ice broke and we figured we aint only mentally compatible. From that point on we had endless discussions.

    For my last birthday my gf printed our chat history for me ranging over 3 months. It was size 8 and she needed over 3000 pages to print it all. Thats batshit crazy.

    was not using a webcam a choice or simply a consequence of lacking one?
    A choice, it didnt ever come up in our discussions. She made would have liked it, I even dislike being photographed.

    if you would have met her in real life prior to meeting her online, if the bond wasn't there and her smile carried no associations, would you have still "felt the move" at your first impression?
    I think no, cause she had when I got to know her a very aggressive social image she projected. I'ld probably found her attractive but dismissed her as being dumb.

    would you find someone else having similar physical features to her but none of the same internal content attractive?
    Yes cause I have a similiar hunting pattern. But I doubt a relationship would be fun for the new girl. Even if I liked her what is a slim chance, she'ld only hear stories about my ex.

    So if my girl would ever leave me, what always is a fact you have to consider, I'ld prolly end up alone. That would fit best with mentality to drown in sorrows. Maybe at old age again, I'ld have a casual relationship. I like to flirt too much to avoid that completly.
    Bad Santa
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    ~Persuasion - by Jane Austen

  9. #49
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    i think we're crossing the semantic abyss here, this is good.
    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Yes cause I have a similiar hunting pattern.
    and by hunting pattern you mean what your anthropological aspects (your inner hunter) looks for in women? the features and gestures that make make your crocodile brain go ""yay breeding!"?

  10. #50
    Senior Member Array kyli_ryan's Avatar
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    My boyfriend NEEDS to be fattened up... I think he is below the "average weight for his height that's enough reason for me!

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