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Thread: incapable of change

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array think2much's Avatar
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    Sep 2009

    Default incapable of change

    how can you fix yourself when you feel incapable of change? I just hit rock bottom, all my life I been depressed and unhappy. I spend years wasting my life and I will continue to waste my life away. I had a fight with my parents. They think I should move out but what the hell am I going to do with no job, no friends, no skills. I don't even care anymore I'm just gonna keep feeding dopamine and abuse my body cause life is meaningless.

  2. #2


    You're definitely having an inferior function episode right now. Being an INTP with problems can be tough because you don't have alot of natural tools to use to get over it.

    Its good that you're expressing yourself. But it looks like you don't have any appropriate outlets to take it to. I guess an sos on a feeling board is a pretty logical way to get help but not very many people are going to respond to this kind of emotionalism. You're asking people to invest alot. To risk alot.

    I'd suggest trying to engage that intuition and find something to get you out of this cruel loop that you're stuck in. You're not worthless or unskilled. Alot of INTP's feel that way when they're upset.

    If you can't break out of your mental loop, why don't you try writing down the things that are bothering you here? The situations you're in so people can maybe make some suggestions. Its tough to respond to emotion but anybody can respond to facts. You're going to be ok. I don't know what time zone you're in but I think some sleep would do you some good.

  3. #3
    yap yap yap Array xenaprincess's Avatar
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    Oct 2011


    I think it might help to take each day at a time and address one thing at a time. When you're looking at what you feel is the rest of your life from your vantage point, it seems huge, endless, overwhelming, etc.

    One day can make a huge difference. One day can mean meeting a friend for the first time, finding an interest, etc. It really is a matter of how you look at it, isn't it? One day (or year, or lifetime) can breeze by or inch by, yet it's the same timeframe.

    I would suggest addressing how you're feeling, since if you feel lousy, it's difficult to do much of anything. I've suggested exercise before, getting out of the house, tuning in with nature, if you can. I agree w/ kitsune in that it's difficult to give suggestions when we don't know much. Do your parents want you out because there is conflict? How could they possibly think you could survive without a job, on your own?

    btw everyone is capable of change if they want to change. Only you can change, and ultimately you are responsible for your own happiness. I hate writing such things because they sound so unsympathetic, but it's a tough truth I've learned over time. You have to pull yourself out of this, and you can and will, if you set your mind to it.

    My parents turned themselves around and changed somewhat dramatically after retiring. If you spoke with me in my teens, I would have never, ever have believed it, but it happened. So...please know that change is possible, and it's that possibility that should keep you going.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array SubtleFighter's Avatar
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    Jan 2011
    6w5 sx/so


    I know this feeling and situation very well. It's a sucky place to be in

    It's hard to feel motivated to do or try something when you're severely depressed. But one thing is to think about is, is this all that you want your legacy to be in life? Do you want people to remember you for more than what you have done so far? And more importantly, do you want your life to be more than what you've done so far? If the answer to the last two questions is yes, then it's worth trying again to do something different. You've probably tried many times before, but the only way that your life will become more than what it is now is to keep trying. Not continuing to try will equal no change.

    Another thing way to try to rid yourself of feeling that you cannot change is to prove yourself wrong in a small way. For instance, if you're feeling like you have no competency in anything, do something small that you're competent in. Even if it's something like organizing your room, or learning a new song on a guitar, or something small like that (I'm not sure what exactly this would be for you). When you accomplish something, it gives you some proof that you have the ability to do things, and that will help motivate you slowly to do bigger and bigger things.

    It sounds like you’re doing drugs. If you truly want your life to get better, you need to get your self to stop. If it means getting help, then get help.

    Ultimately, what in life would make you happy? What would you want to do if skills, expectations, etc were all no object? This can be a really tough question, but it’s worth it to spend the time really delving into it. Maybe make it your next project to figure out some idea of what your answer is. After you have ideas, come up with a tentative plan to move towards that. If what you want to do involves going to college, then that can offer some situations that can help with the skills, friends, and job aspect. You could move into a dorm room or with in an apartment nearby with some other students, which would get you out of your parents’ house and give you more freedom and more self-esteem. Going to college means that you have access to lots of internships that will give you experience and skills that employers will value. Even the fact of being a college student can help you to get a decent job now—I wouldn’t have the job I have now if I wasn’t going to college. Also, going to class and joining some clubs will give you opportunities to make friends. All of these things can help with feeling you’re moving in a good direction in life.

    If what you want to do doesn’t involve college, then be willing to get your foot in the door at whatever it is, even doing menial tasks, which can lead to promotions and the job you actually want. Another thing is finding something to do even ifit doesn’t pay you anything. I’m not sure what you’re interested in, but search around your area or the Internet to find groups or activities or shows that are involved with something you’re interested in. Doing something like this will help you to feel like you’re doing something, it can help take your mind off of your depression, and it will give you opportunities to meet people who are interested in the same thing you are and maybe make some friends.

    If something doesn’t work out as planned and you get more depressed, go back to my first two paragraphs and start from there.

    I hope this helps in some way.
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."--Ambrose Redmoon

    . . . metamorphosing . . .

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