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  1. #11
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SingSmileShine View Post
    But, my question is: Do you notice a trend in NFs and depression/anxiety?
    Can't say for sure. Maybe NFs are just more expressive about it in comparison to other types, so it only looks like they are more depressed.

    Do you suffer from it?
    Depression, yes. I believe I inherited the tendencies from my father's side. His mother was very likely bipolar as is my father. However, due to a strange tendency in both of them to be mentally incapable of admitting to faults or accepting responsibility, this has never been officially diagnosed. But the signs are all there, bright and glaring like giant neon signs. While I'm not bipolar, I do have issues with depression and it's something I have to actively work against.


    How do you best cope with it?
    This biggest thing is I have trained myself to take each day one day at a time. This is very hard for me to generally do, as it's against my natural tendency to want to look forward and plan. But I can at least manage to keep one eye on the present and one eye on the future, and that's probably the best I'll ever do.

    Another thing is I refuse the drink alcohol because of what it does to me. I'm not a cool drunk. Hell, I'm a really boring, clammed up drunk who feels like offing herself as soon as the effects wear off. Therefore, no alcohol for me. Not that I ever really cared much about it in the first place.

    Then there's training my mind to drop thoughts on command. Sometimes it doesn't work, but I can usually tell myself to let something go and imagine both the sensation of putting down a weight and that of falling, and it seems to help me push the issue to the back of my head, forget about it, or not feel anything in particular about it. But I HAVE to balance this with doing something positive. Otherwise, I end up stuck feeling dead and empty.

    I have to admit, though. Sometimes that misery hurts so good I kind of chew on it for a while before trying to get rid of the feeling. It's like when you had braces and how your gums hurt after they were adjusted. It hurt, but you couldn't help clenching your teeth to cause that little bit of itchy pain. Because it felt good, like scratching an itch feels good.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  2. #12
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    I've been to hell and back with respect to anxiety and depression, and I eventually wound up with a bipolar II ("bipolar lite") diagnosis. It's characterized by deep depressive episodes, but typically without much in the way of marked manic highs. It's difficult to separate the physiological from the psychological, but in the process of exploring the whole picture, I've largely tackled the latter--meaning that my anxiety virtually only arises now as an indirect function of body chemistry. Still, when my chemical balance has been off (e.g. ineffective medication regimen), it feels like I've got a void to fill--and that's when I feel like grasping at straws, becoming anxious and turning to old coping mechanisms such as competition and codependent habits. But when the balance is right, I'm just flat out not anxious anymore. About anything.

    So, I feel your pain. I also know that it's possible to conquer the worst of anxiety.


    Therapy really, really helps if it's an option. And Dale Carnegie's book, though outdated in parts, is one of the best resources out there.

    The best way I've found to mentally tackle anxiety is by asking myself to think about my 'problems' one at a time and trace out what the worst possible outcome is (but exercising beforehand helps me clear my head so that I can do it). Often, the worst possible outcome isn't so bad; in addition, it's also usually extremely improbable. That process alone helps put things into perspective, and making it a mental habit is an absolute game-changer.

    "It's not so bad" quickly turns into "it's actually pretty great!"


    Oh, and avoiding situations that would increase stress for no good reason (meaningless promotions for the sake of stroking the ego, overcommitting, living beyond one's means, etc.) is also a good way to prevent anxiety.

  3. #13
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I'm usually not anxious or depressed, but...

    I went through two years (enough to last a lifetime if you ask me), struggling with both. I found that raising my EQ (emotional intelligence) through meditation worked really well. It took some time to get the hang of it, but once I got it, I made great progress rather quickly.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
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  4. #14
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Yeah, I have it. Depression. Been pretty bad off and on for over a year now.

    I find that exercise works pretty well, if not consistantly.
    Fish oil = good
    sleep = good (when I can actually sleep)

    Alcohol = bad
    Pot = bad
    fried food = bad. Why? because it causes inflammation,and inflammation exacerbates depression. actually some research has been done on this, and they cant' determine if inflammation causes depression or depression causes inflammation.

  5. #15
    yap yap yap xenaprincess's Avatar
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    hugs all around to everyone.
    Yes, I do feel badly now and again. It comes in spurts. I went thru a terrible time in my mid/late 20s. Seriously not sure how I survived it.

    The trouble is, if you're depressed, your outlook is affected. How you deal with simple tasks is affected. I'd feel like a heavy weight was on my head, and have trouble making simple decisions.

    Therapy helps put anxious/bad thoughts in perspective. So does talking about it with people. I don't mean long talks, but just a mention about feeling blue. After making a simple connection with someone else, I feel better. Exercise, when I can muster it up. I sometimes take medication. But mostly...I weather it.

    I go thru the motions of normality, suspend judgement about the world and my life. And then I sleep, and the next day I feel better.

  6. #16
    Member WheresRocket's Avatar
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    Yep, I have it. Tendencies toward anxiety and depression, I mean. As does my ENFJ spouse. (We're lots of fun at parties.)

    At various times, depending on the specific circumstances of bouts of anxiety and depression, and what I felt I needed, I have coped with antidepressants, talk therapy, running, and throwing myself into hobbies.

    In my most recent cycle of coping with both depression and anxiety, they have been a response to specific and very stressful life events, and I have been working on learning the difference between my emotions and my responses to emotions.

    I have always tended to be blown around by my emotions, but am often not good at specifically naming what I am feeling - I just know I feel "bad." I realized recently that a lot of the time I am not noticing how I feel until I have already reacted to the emotion - so by the time I check myself, all I know is that I'm incredibly anxious.

    I am learning to interrogate that understanding, to say, "Okay, I'm nauseous and my heart is pounding; I must be anxious. Wonder what caused that response?" To my surprise, I've usually been able to trace it back to something specific that upset me, and from there it's easy to identify the emotion that was provoked - i.e., "I got a rude phone call at work and felt threatened; it made me scared."

    It's much easier to deal with "Okay, I felt scared; that was a reasonable response and I will handle it" than "I'm so anxious and I don't know what to do; am I going crazy?" This strategy has helped me a lot.

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    If we're talking about that acute of a level of anxiety, (I've never tried this) but in one of my lectures they told us that people put a lemon in their mouth and it works. The shock and bitterness brings you directly back to the present moment. Goal is to stay focused on the lemon. I've never tried it before.
    I love this idea!

  7. #17
    Senior Member Abstract Thinker's Avatar
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    Yes, here too. Male INFP, which presents its own particular challenges. How do I deal with it? Mostly I just suffer. And I take Prozac, Klonopin, wine and weed. Anything to escape the inevitable pain of so much feeling and intuition.

  8. #18
    Member IllusoryReverie's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if NFs necessarily suffer more from depression/anxiety more than any of the other types, but I feel that they would be more comfortable with addressing their depression/anxiety than many of the other types would be. I deal with depression myself. It's something that runs in my family. I'm okay with talking about it but I like to take the time to feel out whether a person would be understanding about it before I get into it. There's so much prejudice directed toward mood disorders.
    “The first progressive step by a mind overwhelmed by the strangeness of things is to realize that this feeling of strangeness is shared with all men and that human reality, in its entirety, suffers from the distance which separates it from the rest of the universe." -Albert Camus

  9. #19
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    My fight with depression was stemmed from a very particular situation, and was healed when that situation also healed, so I don't think I will include that here.

    Overall, I do not suffer from depression at all as far as I can tell.. but I do get anxious easily. I think it sort of comes with the territory. ENFPs tend to care a lot, and with care comes worry and anxiety. It comes natural to me to be anxious because it comes naturally to me to care about..well..way too much, and so if left unchecked that will leak into other facets of my life--like over-thinking situations or the actions and words of others.
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  10. #20
    Junior Member Qoi's Avatar
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    For me it's the constant battle of accepting that one day I'm going to end and that to truly experience and enjoy life I need to be a part of it. Sometimes it's just really hard to work up the motivation, especially when people just would rather not talk about "depressing" things. It's sad, but it's a part of life and discussing it, at least for me, is the only way to feel at ease with it. Not to mention the thought of getting close to someone else and losing them again. It's hard letting people in sometimes, although I do get around as far as talking to others. I have a lot of acquaintances, but few I've ever talked to on a super personal level. Most people don't want to. It's that duality which causes anxiety. What we want and what we expect. The anticipation can lead to optimism, but there's always that core fear and some people are just prone to letting it take over.

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