I've always had a worry about some vital part of myself fading away. The best way to describe it is that it's like a constant awareness of inner death. You can feel yourself leaking out of you.
Something new always comes in to replace it, but it's depressing when you try to revisit some earlier time when you were inspired, & you can't quite make the connection. That's the hardest part about doing art for me, it's impossible to get back to what you used to be feeling. You have the memory, but the vitality is always lost, & you can't get it back.
I think I focus on this unnecessarily. I'm terrified of becoming a boring, unimaginative person & I've noticed it tends to make me do ridiculous things every now & then.
Does anyone else feel like they're always 'going over the hill'? I mean, I already felt like I was old when I was 20. I felt like I'd seen it all even though I'd barely had any life experience at that point.
So do any of you guys relate to this fear of "losing the spark"?