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  1. #11
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    The INFJs are know definitely are quiet and serious...but we have a silly switch too. I do love embracing the baby ESTP inside and sometimes I wish I did it more often. Every time I go to a rock concert and scream so much that the people nearby stare at me, it's one of the happiest times I've had in ages.

    "Calm" is a bit of an odd one for INFJs. It seems as though we usually look that way on the outside, but it's quite common for us to be a mass of raging thoughts, surging emotions, and general angst and insanity on the inside. Perhaps I have more trouble with racing thoughts though being enneagram 6 (you know what that's like, even if from a different NF perspective!)
    I do. Still, I wish I could seem calmer on the outside. NJs seem to be able to create a veil of mental distance between themselves and other people. I have never had any facility with this.

  2. #12
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I do. Still, I wish I could seem calmer on the outside. NJs seem to be able to create a veil of mental distance between themselves and other people. I have never had any facility with this.
    I guess that's true, in a way. It probably contributes to us looking "cold" sometimes, unfortunately. You mentioned NJs - I am sure that INTJ/ENTJs are better at this than INFJs/ENFJs. I can create mental distance either when I just don't care much about someone or something - or if it is someone I have cared about, I have to have been hurt, let down or threatened quite a bit before I set up that distance, I think. Then I start putting more distance and stop caring - sometimes even in situations where I kind of still want to care. It can be a bit frightening to feel that coldness come over me because it's not fundamentally who I want to be.

    I find the calm outside/wound up inside thing creates a lot of difficulties though. It means that people think I'll take anything. When I eventually break down/freak out/burst into tears/fly into a rage, they're totally shocked. I have often thought lately that it would be better for me to look outwardly more neurotic and be calmer inside. Sort of switch them around.

    Sorry, I guess I'm digressing a bit from the topic here!
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  3. #13
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovelurking View Post
    Are you under a lot of stress?
    Nah, it's probably more boredom than stress. And I may possibly have an addictive personality.

  4. #14
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I find the calm outside/wound up inside thing creates a lot of difficulties though. It means that people think I'll take anything. When I eventually break down/freak out/burst into tears/fly into a rage, they're totally shocked. I have often thought lately that it would be better for me to look outwardly more neurotic and be calmer inside. Sort of switch them around.
    We are going to switch. I will take some of your exterior calmness, and you can have some of my external emotional expression. We can balance.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cloud of Thunder
    Nah, it's probably more boredom than stress.
    Relatedly - I think sometimes people just need mental-paradigm change. To reinvent and renew.

  5. #15
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I do go on kicks of things - both food and activities. However, I don't usually get really self-indulgent unless I am under stress and am almost compelled to avoid consciously facing whatever is bothering me. I will buy stupid magazines, eat stuff that's bad for me, sleep too much or not nearly enough, watch stupid TV etc. Most of it isn't even stuff that would normally appeal that much to me, but I become quite attached to it during times of stress.

  6. #16
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    I literally want to be more like an SP. But I don't act very SPish pretty much ever. The most SP-like traits I have are that I pace a lot when I'm bored and I constantly drum on things.

    Also, when I'm drunk I'm more SP-like, but I think that's true for most people.

  7. #17
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I tend to need something to balance the abstract nature of my inclinations. I get lost in my head with some of the least tangible sorts of systems and ideas. I have been aware of a life-long connection with physical expression in which I should have been serious about dancing or something similar to balance my tendency towards disconnection and abstraction. As a child I did gymnastics on my own, but was not involved in any dance for religious reasons. I think modern dance would have been my niche, but I'm still interested to get involved with yoga.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    This is why I had considered INFJ as my type. Despite the fact that everyone here sees me as an SP, I wonder if it's just something I've adapted to or whatnot.

    I also think there are a lot of NF wannabes. For some reason, outside of the MBTI forum bubble, I never come across NT wannabes or SJ wannabes.

    (Actually, I do, but it's more like SJ havetobes)
    I'm not an NF wannabe, but an NF wannabewith (NFJ specifically). Right now I might be going through a subtle Fe stress period *hugs an INFJ tightly*.

    ...and who's not to love an NT? Some people out there actually like the intelligence and smartassery (no offense, NTs) that an NT (especially ENTP) has.

    SJs: the most common, the temperament everyone is least interested in being. And for SJs, there's a sorta "us vs. them" mentality.
    Thinkist: not optimist nor pessimist. I am primarily competent in the enneagram.
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  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloud of Thunder View Post
    Nah, it's probably more boredom than stress. And I may possibly have an addictive personality.
    Eh, it's normal. I go on video games for hours sometimes.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    I literally want to be more like an SP. But I don't act very SPish pretty much ever. The most SP-like traits I have are that I pace a lot when I'm bored and I constantly drum on things.

    Also, when I'm drunk I'm more SP-like, but I think that's true for most people.
    Other SP-like behaviors I have include driving like a crazy person occasionally and listening a vast array of music, from classical to trashy pop.

    I think more than anything, it establishes my versatility.

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