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  1. #1
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    Default INFJ-INFP (Rebound): What is Going On?

    My INFJ ex just left me for an INFP guy. She tells me he's perfection.
    My ex is very combative and verbally abusive, doesn't even realize she's being insulting she's that unhealthy from a non loving home (her Mom's a menace).
    I think it's just initial bliss of the newness every new person brings along..I mean anyone can be perfect for a date or a week or two.
    The INFP is divorced with a child. That to me shows he has screwed up in marriage. I on the other hand, I haven't and have never been married.
    Also think eventually she'll see he's either spending more time with the child and she'll feel like she's less important, or he'll spend more time with her and she'll think he's a bad guy (father).

    Could you tell me what you think about this? What are your thoughts?
    How do you handle being shouted at?

    He might just be a rebound. A friend of mine has talked to my ex and he told me he doesn't think this new guy is going to last...doesn't think he's a very good guy.

    Sorry to post so much.
    Last edited by Lenian; 01-30-2012 at 08:27 AM. Reason: added more clarity

  2. #2
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    If confronted in a personal relationship, I walk away.

    How does she normally affect your life?

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  3. #3
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lenian View Post
    I'm in a relationship with an INFJ and it's been about a year and a half. And I have been wondering for several months how healthy she is mentally.

    ....

    INFJs and others, what are your thoughts? I would think Sensors would be particularly suited to handling these difficult things, even tho they aren't predominantly 'N'.

    I suspect it's some combination of these:
    A.) It's Ne testing to see if I can handle her over time
    B.) She wants to order me around (I won't be ordered around by anyone and am least likely to do so and have told her this...to which her reply was 'You will..you'll see. HAHA thinking that seed will actually grow inside me. NOT!!! sorry )...as witnessed by her mother orders about everyone around for no apparent reason other than, I think, is a very unhealthy psychotic manipulative ENFJ.
    C.) She is lazy and wants a guy as a meal ticket even tho she is capable of earning an income
    D.) Feels nervous as she has never taken the responsibility and had her own place/apartment even in college
    Quote Originally Posted by Lenian View Post
    Hey everyone!! I am in a relationship with an INFJ and really would like INFJ help here.

    I recently notice I don't feel as secure around my SO as I usually am. It's because my SO is insecure and I believe projects this anxiety onto me. In turn she wonders why I am insecure then her empathy locks on to my 'pseudo' insecurity and the downward spiral is on.

    ....

    Please, Please, Please give your thoughts!! Relationship help needed here I can see light at the end of this tunnel I just feel for her!

    Thanks!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lenian View Post
    What problems might arise in an INFP-INFJ relationship where the INFJ is Very insulting and combative (hasn't been healthy, ever) never having a safe loving home, and the INFP is consistently disloyal to his family, divorced, and plays women for sex?
    I know of a couple like this and wonder how it might go for them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lenian View Post
    My INFJ ex just left me for an INFP guy. She tells me he's perfection.
    My ex is very combative and verbally abusive, doesn't even realize she's being insulting she's that unhealthy from a non loving home (her Mom's a menace).
    I think it's just initial bliss of the newness every new person brings along..I mean anyone can be perfect for a date or a week or two.

    ....

    Could you tell me what you think about this? What are your thoughts?
    How do you handle being shouted at?

    He might just be a rebound. A friend of mine has talked to my ex and he told me he doesn't think this new guy is going to last...doesn't think he's a very good guy.
    I notice you starting new threads about the same topic. Do you not like where the discussion is going in those other threads? Is that why you run to a new one to posit more of your own translations of other's feelings and assign more blame? Do you not like the replies you are receiving? Is this too hard to delve into and so you seek to reframe the discussion? Just wondering. As they say, that light you see at the end of the tunnel could be an oncoming train, which could be you.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lenian View Post
    My INFJ ex just left me for an INFP guy. She tells me he's perfection.
    My ex is very combative and verbally abusive, doesn't even realize she's being insulting she's that unhealthy from a non loving home (her Mom's a menace).
    I think it's just initial bliss of the newness every new person brings along..I mean anyone can be perfect for a date or a week or two.
    The INFP is divorced with a child. That to me shows he has screwed up in marriage. I on the other hand, I haven't and have never been married.
    Also think eventually she'll see he's either spending more time with the child and she'll feel like she's less important, or he'll spend more time with her and she'll think he's a bad guy (father).

    Could you tell me what you think about this? What are your thoughts?
    How do you handle being shouted at?

    He might just be a rebound. A friend of mine has talked to my ex and he told me he doesn't think this new guy is going to last...doesn't think he's a very good guy.

    Sorry to post so much.

    My thoughts are I don't know why you would ever want to remain with an abusive person and why are you still talking to her? Is this the same one from the other thread, because you didn't answer some questions over there. And...

    The INFP is divorced with a child. That to me shows he has screwed up in marriage.
    Please shut the fuck up until you have been married and have bought yourself a clue. Did it ever occur to you that there are 2 people in a marriage?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

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