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  1. #1
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Default NF's Fencing between Fe and Fi

    Lately I felt so lost about myself and my type. I've always felt like I'm an INFJ once I kept getting tested consistently as one. At the same time, I felt relieved that I'm not at odds with my personality as I've found many other INFJs around who share my traits.

    Eventually, however, I felt more confused of my type as I can really related to the struggles among Fi users, particularly from this thread

    I felt there are elements where I can strongly related to Fe's universal view of social graces, while I also appreciate Fi's filtering for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in.

    I'm not sure if this has to do with my scores on the top 4 cognitive functions as they all share excellent use among the 8 functions: Fe (42.3), Ni (38.2), Fi (37), Te (30.9) - which lately I got tested as an ENFJ.

    I just wonder if there are any NFs out there who experiences the same struggle that I'm having right now?

  2. #2
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I'm SF and I experience this. It's really confusing. It makes me not believe there is much difference between the two.

  3. #3
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I'm just speculating/rambling here; I know I have very high Fe scores on function tests, but I can't remember how high my Fi scores would be. But I wonder if someone who is a very "strong Feeler" is likely to have high scores on both and relate to both quite strongly. I know that there are a lot of INFJs who relate to INTJ more so than to any other type. While I think I came across more INTJ when younger, partly due to family influences, I have never had a T score on any MBTI test in the last several years (basically since I've really been into MBTI). I couldn't be much more of a Feeler.

    I am not sure how much I relate to Fi. I have found it difficult to grasp. I am certainly attached to social conventions and niceties, not for their own sake, but because I feel that they smooth the way and make things more pleasant and easier for essentials like personal development and self-expression. (Not how a lot of people perceive Fe, I know.) But I suppose I might relate to Fi in that (for instance) I get upset if I'm in the middle of a difficult emotional situation and someone says "what is the point in getting so upset over this? I only had feelings like the ones you're describing when I was going through my divorce!" (yeah, someone actually said that to me and I didn't appreciate it - I've been a lot more guarded about my feelings with this person ever since ). Because of this remark, I felt silly and invalidated, as though I was a flawed person for being very upset over a situation that the other person didn't feel should be all that upsetting. But is that Fi? Not sure.
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  4. #4
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I also wonder if enneagram type influences this. I've found that e4 people seem to fit some of the Fi mold more than e1 or e5 INFJs. Might just be me though, don't know...

  5. #5
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I am not sure how much I relate to Fi. I have found it difficult to grasp. I am certainly attached to social conventions and niceties, not for their own sake, but because I feel that they smooth the way and make things more pleasant and easier for essentials like personal development and self-expression. (Not how a lot of people perceive Fe, I know.) But I suppose I might relate to Fi in that (for instance) I get upset if I'm in the middle of a difficult emotional situation and someone says "what is the point in getting so upset over this? I only had feelings like the ones you're describing when I was going through my divorce!" (yeah, someone actually said that to me and I didn't appreciate it - I've been a lot more guarded about my feelings with this person ever since ). Because of this remark, I felt silly and invalidated, as though I was a flawed person for being very upset over a situation that the other person didn't feel should be all that upsetting. But is that Fi? Not sure.
    I got your point here. I tend to feel that I do play by the societal rules and really dislike having unnecessary conflicts. Yet, whenever I felt really upset, it has more to do with crossing my Fi ethics, more so than Fe. I tend to be able to overlook when the Fe's convention codes of conducts are attacked by others by trying to keep my patience. Though I almost have zero patience to unleash my anger whenever I felt invalidation of my Fi and that's when I take things really personally.


    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I also wonder if enneagram type influences this. I've found that e4 people seem to fit some of the Fi mold more than e1 or e5 INFJs. Might just be me though, don't know...
    I'm tested as 4w5 (and 4w3 in the past) but I can see myself fitting in e4. So perhaps there's a pattern in this...

  6. #6
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Someone around here once said something that stuck with me. It was along the lines of, "NFPs and NFJs are people that think in very different ways but frequently reach similar conclusions". It's like we take different paths but end up in the same place a lot of the time.
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    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  7. #7
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Someone around here once said something that stuck with me. It was along the lines of, "NFPs and NFJs are people that think in very different ways but frequently reach similar conclusions". It's like we take different paths but end up in the same place a lot of the time.
    Yes! There often seem to be many misunderstandings along the way, so sometimes I wonder if we should just curtail all the discussion, and just share our findings...
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  8. #8
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross
    Someone around here once said something that stuck with me. It was along the lines of, "NFPs and NFJs are people that think in very different ways but frequently reach similar conclusions". It's like we take different paths but end up in the same place a lot of the time.
    i definitely agree with that. from my experiences with my ENFJ friend, we often both wind up at the same conclusion, despite essentially opposite thought paths.

    like silkroad pointed out, often a strong feeler will have strong scores on both F functions, in particular if you are EFP or IFJ because of the (extravert + introverted feeling) or (introvert + extraverted feeling) combinations.

    personally, i usually test relatively high on Fe. as fidelia pointed out, could be the influence of e6 - there is definitely a social awareness that comes with the type - in addition to the extravert with feeling combo. i would not be surprised if you as an e4 associated more strongly with Fi, since there is that authenticity-of-emotion overlap.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh
    Yet, whenever I felt really upset, it has more to do with crossing my Fi ethics, more so than Fe. I tend to be able to overlook when the Fe's convention codes of conducts are attacked by others by trying to keep my patience. Though I almost have zero patience to unleash my anger whenever I felt invalidation of my Fi and that's when I take things really personally.
    i know there are people out there who do not believe in an individual's usage of all 8 functions, but i do ("conveyor belts" of N/S T/F, if you will) and i think that the reason all people have access to Fi usage is precisely to protect the inner ethical self. so to me, it's unsurprising that you would feel this. my ESFJ SO will express feelings like this too, despite not having Fi as a primary function. he also feels the same self-protective anger when personal dignity is violated. i think it's a universal human experience.

  9. #9
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    That doesent sound like you are using Fi, Ni and Ti can do the same thing when dealing with Fe judgments. And no it doesent have anything to do with cognitive function scores, those cognitive function tests are flawed in so many ways that they arent really worth looking at all unless you know in what ways they are flawed and are able to look at the scores as not absolute truths or even strenghts of the functions, but like for INFJ Fi is usually Fe + Ti or Fe + Ni and understand that the questions that the scores are gathered are flawed from the beginning, so even looking at the scotes that way wont tell you anything that you wouldnt already know(as understanding the scores need self reflection to begin with)..
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  10. #10
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    I don't know if this helps but I as an INTJ am experiencing something similar when it comes to Ti and Te.

    Sometimes when I get an idea out of nothing given by Ni, I end up struggling to decide if I should hand that idea to Ti or Te for handling. Giving it to Ti means idealizing and perfecting the idea as far as I can take it, often with the result that what comes out is either impractical or simply too late to be implemented. Theoretical perfection wins, practicality loses. Giving it to Te instead means coming up with a way to really implement the idea soon and practically enough to actually see at least a part of it being actually utilized in the real world. Practicality wins, theoretical perfection loses.

    My assumption would be that Fi and Fe work the same way. Fi would be about idealizing things and taking the risk that the will be no-one to share them with. Fe, on the other hand, would be about actually connecting with people while taking the risk that the perfection is compromised.
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