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  1. #1
    Member Black Hole Sun's Avatar
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    Default Fe vs. Enneagram 4?

    So I've been doing some introspection (as per usual) and I started thinking about how (at least in my experience) Fe conflicts with type 4 main thing being unique. For example I look at people and part of me doesn't want to be like them or do what they do. I prefer to be my own person and do my own thing not conform, but there is a part of me that the seems to be growing, that makes me want to be like everyone else. Act like stereotypical 20 something year old human. Although its been growing I've always had that part of me. I guess I could be envy that I feel towards those kind of people. What I wouldn't give to have a zest for life like it seems they do..anyway I'm getting off track, but my point is do you all think that maybe having Fe as a Dom or Aux conflicts with being a Enneagram type 4? or is it maybe because I'm a 4 then a 6 in my tritype and there conflictive too?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Possibly. You must resist the urge to conform to the ever-fluctuating whims of popularity. People are sheep.

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TiS3HaNhPU"]Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister [/YOUTUBE]

  3. #3
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Funny you say that - someone just posted a thread about not being sure they are INFJ because they identify with Fi. I posted that I thought it could be a matter of being an e4 or having sp first possibly. I don't identify a lot with many of the e4 INFJs on here in some ways, but I am e1 and so/sx, so I assume that's where the difference lies. Don't know.

  4. #4
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I think there may be something to this. I'm personally of the opinion that not as many INFJs are 4s as think they are, but hey, I would say that, given that I'm pretty sure I'm an INFJ 6.

    When I started looking into Enneagram, I thought I MUST be a 4 because basically I thought INFJs were almost always 4. I realised pretty quickly that there was too much I didn't identify with. I'm not hung up on being unique and special and different. I already know that I kind of am. But honestly, 4 sounded more like a teenage version of myself. I am now much more interested in finding common ground with others, and I think that is very Fe. Sure, I'm always going to feel a bit different from most others in some ways, I accepted that long ago. But I don't generally rejoice and celebrate over that (though in some respects it can be interesting.) I'd rather find that common ground and to a certain extent even fit in. Perhaps that's safer - type 6?
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  5. #5
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Hole Sun View Post
    So I've been doing some introspection (as per usual) and I started thinking about how (at least in my experience) Fe conflicts with type 4 main thing being unique. For example I look at people and part of me doesn't want to be like them or do what they do. I prefer to be my own person and do my own thing not conform, but there is a part of me that the seems to be growing, that makes me want to be like everyone else
    ...
    but my point is do you all think that maybe having Fe as a Dom or Aux conflicts with being a Enneagram type 4?
    Thanks!
    I'm currently having the same dilemma as you. The only difference is my Aux is Ni and my Tert is Fi.

    My inner-struggle often revolves in what you've stated above there. Being a conformist vs. non-conformist and it's a constant battle that affects my decisions on various issues. It's frustrating.

  6. #6
    Member Black Hole Sun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    I'm currently having the same dilemma as you. The only difference is my Aux is Ni and my Tert is Fi.

    My inner-struggle often revolves in what you've stated above there. Being a conformist vs. non-conformist and it's a constant battle that affects my decisions on various issues. It's frustrating.


    Thank you all for the responses.

    I have a want to be many people other then myself, but I also have aspects of me that just wants to be whoever I am as different as I may or may not be.

    When I think about a song that I relate to it is usually part of your world from the little mermaid, by your world I mean the "normal" world. Acting the way everyone does. It's a constant struggle with aspects of me conflicting.

    I think often moving away is the answer because I can start fresh, but i'm sure I'll fall in the same pattern and get back into this point. How do you all deal with it?

  7. #7
    Step into my office. Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Hole Sun View Post
    So I've been doing some introspection (as per usual) and I started thinking about how (at least in my experience) Fe conflicts with type 4 main thing being unique. For example I look at people and part of me doesn't want to be like them or do what they do. I prefer to be my own person and do my own thing not conform, but there is a part of me that the seems to be growing, that makes me want to be like everyone else. Act like stereotypical 20 something year old human. Although its been growing I've always had that part of me. I guess I could be envy that I feel towards those kind of people. What I wouldn't give to have a zest for life like it seems they do..anyway I'm getting off track, but my point is do you all think that maybe having Fe as a Dom or Aux conflicts with being a Enneagram type 4? or is it maybe because I'm a 4 then a 6 in my tritype and there conflictive too?

    Thanks!
    What does the need to conform feel like, for you? Sure, I'm also compelled to conform to some extent; I feel the need to have a job and to earn money, I force myself to exercise politeness at times when I might not otherwise, and I probably wouldn't walk down the street naked (even if only because I wouldn't like to be arrested). However, when it comes to personal opinions, likes and dislikes, habits, hobbies, and interests, I don't care whether mine mesh with those commonly found in the general public...and they very often do not. In this context, I struggle to understand the desire to fit in. I do not deliberately make the choices that I do out of a need to build some kind of identity for myself; I honestly just have preferences and personality traits that seem to set me apart from others. As a little kid, I was picked on for my differences, but now I've learned to accept and even like them. Why be anything other than yourself?

    I don't necessarily see a conflict between nonconformity and outwardly expressed emotional communication. I use Fe, and 4 is in my tritype (a very close second to type 1, I might add), and I haven't felt the dissonance some of you are describing. Maybe the presence of type 6 creates more of that conflict? Ultimately, though, I think it boils down to who you are as an individual, and to your levels of self-confidence and interpersonal comfort.
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  8. #8
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    I understand the conflicting feelings. I think being a 4 so-first creates a similar feeling regarding uniqueness vs. conformity - I feel torn by the pressures of wanting to be both, and yet, neither. Strangely enough, I don't think I totally fit (or could ever fit) in either camp: embracing my belonging to the group or openly revelling in my distinct individuality.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

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  9. #9
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    @AntiheroComplex

    You're 4w5 and I think the OP may be 4w3. The desire to fit in often comes in a very simple emotional form. It's a feeling of wanting to be loved when you're in public, even when ideologically you want to be yourself first and foremost. The former is just more simple and biological almost. It's just a feeling you get.
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  10. #10
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Type 4's typically want their own unique characteristics to be accepted by others, to establish their own niche. Sometimes they may envy others that have an easier time gaining social acceptance, and may yearn to completely change themselves to gain that appreciation. "If I were more _____ like Person A, then things will be better." Fe based 4's will be prone to yearning for social acceptance of their unique characteristics.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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