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  1. #11
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Give it a month, then evaluate your emotions after letting the strong passions pass. People suck and they will never meet the ideals you hold for them. In the midts of anger and rage they will say hateful, harmful things or nasty things-oftent later they regret their actions.

    Judge him based upon his historical character, not simply the one event.

    If he is a source of constant drama and disruption and constantly hurts those around him, then detach but do so without passion. Make sure the choice was made weighing the future consequences of the detachement. Also, dont make a big scene -just cut him out and avoid him. Even if you have to be in the same room with him-treat him with emotional detachement and just let his actions roll off of you.
    +10

    ^^ I agree with everything Orobas mentioned.

    But really, no matter what, I think cutting out your sibling is not the greatest idea. Just try to give each other some time and space and try to re-patch things when both of you are ready.

    Since I'm an only child, I've always hope that I had a sibling. I also thought having another person who share most of your family history is valuable even though they may not share the same perspective on certain issues. I think it helps you to learn from a different perspective by sharing and learning from a sibling if both manage to respect each other.

  2. #12
    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    Since I'm an only child, I've always hope that I had a sibling. I also thought having another person who share most of your family history is valuable even though they may not share the same perspective on certain issues. I think it helps you to learn from a different perspective by sharing and learning from a sibling if both manage to respect each other.
    Are you idealizing it a bit? Heh maybe not. But we've never had any connection like that, we've never shared or bonded & if you had to give our relation an objective description it'd be a tag like "casual friends." My other brother & my sister, we've talked & had real conversations. That's a vague term but at the very minimum I think it means "sharing thing other than gross jokes & movie quotations."

    I'm still extremely pissed about it, & I might not ever be able to think of him the same way. He was drunk but that's not an acceptable excuse to me, it begs the question of, well, why were you drunk? lol. If that's how you'll act.

    I have a friend who was engaged to marry a woman only to break up with her the day of finding out she cheated on him. Different situation but he told me that the moment she told him, his feelings were instantly gone, they disappeared as he sat there looking at her. & he wouldn't have thought that was possible.
    RCUAI
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    "Man is free, but his freedom ceases when he has no faith in it."

  3. #13
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I haven't cut out any family members and it would be difficult (impossible?) to imagine cutting out my parents or brother. I can hardly imagine what terrible thing would have to take place before I'd do that. I suppose I could cut out a more distant family member but then, most of them are hardly "in". (Not that I have bad relationships with any of them, not in the slightest; the ones I know are all really nice people but the majority are a bit more like acquaintances/distant acquaintances.)

    I have cut out a few people, just a few. Those who caused me too much emotional pain; or repeatedly let me down; or some combination thereof and I just couldn't see any constructive and healthy point to trying to keep them in my lives. It's tended to be very gradual. I didn't wake up one morning and go "I must cut them out." With the last person I did that with (there have been perhaps four in my life) I thought for some time that we might still have a friendship. It gradually just seemed more and more unlikely, awkward, and unfeasible given the circumstances and my feelings. By now (about a year after doing it) I have no desire to have him back in my life, and I can see him clearly enough to no longer like or respect him, so wouldn't see the point. Once I get past hurt feelings and so forth, it's not normally something I'd regret and I don't miss the person. But it would take me a long time to get to the stage of not hurting or missing them at all.
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by FunnyDigestion View Post
    Maybe, but I feel there are lines you don't cross, & he crossed one. I do love him but i think this is the only reasonable response. It sucks, we've had a lot of good times together & I can feel my fondness for him draining away now. Our relationship wasn't going anywhere though, i'd been feeling that our times of having fun were in the past anyway.

    I like the black eye icon, mine's swollen shut a bit though.
    I'm glad you liked it.

    I'm not sorry though, lol. He actually escalated it to fisticuffs, I was just wrestling him to the ground. Dude actually tried to kick me in the stomach, wtf.
    Fisticuffs, wow, ouch.

    Quote Originally Posted by FunnyDigestion View Post
    Alright, he's apologizing now.. I feel a bit bad. I guess I'll play it by ear, thanks for the advice everyone.

  5. #15
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    That is what siblings are for.

    If anyone that I know who were willing to cross the line, it would be my own siblings.

    But at the same token, they are also the first ones to help me out when I ask for it.

    I hate them, but I also love them. You won't get such a relationship with other people.

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