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  1. #1
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Default NFP's - What are you experiences with ISTJ?

    Just that. I know that ISTJ is suppose to be in complete opposition to the ENFP and very different, obviously.. from INFP's, so there is a tremendous potential for misunderstanding... BUT

    it has been my experience that everywhere I go, I collect ISTJ friends.

    Not only do I collect them, they seem to be among a select few who do NOT take my flitting off to new pursuits, or making new friend groups, or just wanting to fall off the radar for a few months, personally AT ALL.

    Infact, recently I realized that a handful of ISTJ's, despite our differences, seem to really appreciate my strengths (and I usually hold tremendous value in theirs as well.) I guess I never feel like I need to keep things fun and entertaining with ISTJs.. because it's not that quality they value.. it's always personal emotional conflicts and relationships. I guess it makes me feel kinda special and deeply pleased to know these somewhat critical perfectionists trust my judgement in these matters.

    I've also noticed a plethora of them seeking me out the last few years, most of them hitting early to mid thirties.. and i wonder if that tertiary fi of theirs might have something to do with it.

    Anyhow, what have your experiences been? I am curious (always haha)
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #2
    Ginkgo
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    I've never had any ISTJ friends that I can recall. Phlegmatic personalities usually aren't very high maintenance because they don't demand much. They don't need to; they tend to retain energy more than consume it. Maybe that partially explains why the ISTJs you know aren't super peeved about you exercising your free spirit. It's sometimes comforting to know when you're not needed.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    You know @Ginkgo, I think you are spot on with that. That is one of the greatest traits of ISTJ's in my interaction.. they don't require alot. Their not usually a mess, they take very good care of themselves and all practical matters. It seems that the *only* achilles heel they have happens to be one of my greater strengths. So perhaps this allows a pure, easy exchange of insight while both parties easily just co-exist in their quirky little worlds. Then again, I have no clue what goes on in that ISTJ brain so it's possible that they just don't air their frusterations with the NFP wildness as much. I should add that all my relations are friendships only, I am highly skeptical of very close realtionships with them.

    *Pink Floyds 'Us & Them' plays in the backdrop* =P
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  4. #4
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I get along pretty well with most ISTJs I've known IRL, especially when they are Si-heavy and less Te-ish because you really see their idiosyncratic nature. They have a crusty exterior and somewhat sentimental interior that I find endearing. There can be a clash where I find them too boring and something of a downer; they can have a knee-jerk reaction to reject & dislike new/different things, but if you ease them into it then they'll usually be okay. I think they may find me a little frivolous in my pursuit of novelty. The main reason we get along is they seem to like me, and consequently they seem more open to me than to just anyone. I'm quite sure most of these ISTJs are e6 or e9.

    I very much struggle to like ESTJs, and I don't think most like me. I've had a few casual friends here & there who have been ESTJ, but we weren't really close and they are almost always women (which I think makes a difference). In general, they really rub me the wrong way. I find their way of thinking, well, limited and narrow, and they seem ridiculous over all, like they have very inflated views of themselves. This is probably just a projection of my inferior Te usage. There are more than a few I've had rather strong instant dislike for, which is unusual for me (I'm rather indifferent to most people at first). I think most of these ESTJs are e1 types, but some may be e6.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #5
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    *Pink Floyds 'Us & Them' plays in the backdrop* =P


    I have A LOT of ISTJs in my extended family, whom I love and care about. I enjoy their company in small amounts but there are things about them that really grate on me. I've had/still have some in my outer group of friends but I'm never going to be all that close to them. I don't hold this against ISTJs as a whole, though - they just have a very different approach to life than me and I struggle to get passed this.

    I must say though, they do vary greatly depending on their enneatype.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  6. #6
    Member 31january's Avatar
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    hmmm... i've always wondered. my best friend is ISTJ, and i have at least two other ISTJ friends who are pretty close! and i don't count people as close friends really easily, too. i think the overall vibe they give off that they are trustworthy and sincere helps a lot, and from my experience they aren't boring at all as long a they open up :P

  7. #7
    Member WhimsyGirl's Avatar
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    i find that a lot of "whatever u say" and *bowing* tends to work wonders

  8. #8
    Senior Member Owfin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhimsyGirl View Post
    i find that a lot of "whatever u say" and *bowing* tends to work wonders
    If I found out you were doing this to me I'd get right .

    Even without that, it's annoying when people just nod their head at me. If I ask you "What do you think?", at least add something. If you agree with me wholeheartedly, say why. "Mm-hm" gives me nothing and makes me think you really don't care.

    I just probably made myself look bad on here...
    I don't see any invisible treasure chests.

    • MBTI? ISTJ
    • Enneagram? 6 with a strong 7 wing
    • Brony? Yes
    • Stereotypes?

  9. #9
    Member WhimsyGirl's Avatar
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    ah, no it was a joke. i don't know that many ISTJ's, but i work with one who is very domineering and control-freaky and OCD (i love him, obv) but that's where that was comin' from. obv, not a generalization. another ISTJ friend (who may be INTJ, not sure), is also much more like "don't just 'uh-huh' me, listen to wat i say." his parents give him grief for the decisions he makes bc they think he's not capable, but he's an adult, and i totally agree with u abt all this just that on the surface sometimes it seems like the best way to deal is just be quiet/agree. no offense meant. sorry.

  10. #10
    Junior Member Pelagia's Avatar
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    I have two ISTJ's in my family, and my ex is ISTJ. And I have to say I have never felt good enough for them. I have felt this disappointed/disapproving vibe towards me. I lived together with my ISTJ partner for 3 years, and it was the most stable relationship I've ever been in (to the point of it being dull). What killed me though was the constant pressure to keep order, both over our surroundings and over myself as a person. When I failed to do that I felt really bad for causing so much stress for my partner, and at the same time felt chained and suffocated. This causing me to lose all inspiration and joy. -insert dramatic gesture-

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