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  1. #41
    Senior Member sriv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    That was the longest 4 days ever though!
    No it wasn't. It was just a time of heightened sensitivity.
    Reyson: ...If you were to change your ways, I'm sure we could rebuild the relationship the two of us once shared.

    Naesala: Oh no, that I could never do. You see, humans are essential to the fulfillment of my ambitions.

    Reyson: You've changed, Naesala. If this is the path you've chosen, I've nothing left to say.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Motor Jax's Avatar
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    there are times, especially when i am home, that i just want to be left alone though

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    As mates, INFJs are usually devoted to their spouses, but may not always be open to physical approaches. They tend to be physically demonstrative at times, but wish to choose when, which is when they are in the mood. This maybe quite confusing to an extraverted mate. Often an INFJ's expressions of affection will be subtle, taking a humorous, unexpected turn. INFJs need and want harmony in their homes and find constant conflict, overt or covert, extremely destructive to their psyches. Their friendship circle is likely to be small, deep, and longstanding. As parents, INFJs usually are fiercely devoted. A female INFJ, particularly, is linked to her children in a way different from the other types: with almost a psychic symbiosis. This deep bond can create an over-dependency that can be unhealthy for both mother and child. At the same time, INFJs tend to be good friends with their children, while firm in discipline. They usually are concerned about the comfort of a home and most especially the comfort, physical health, and emotional well-being of both mates and children.
    i've actually pushed my g/f, an ESTP, away from me in my sleep

    the INFJ profile

  3. #43
    Junior Member MindBlow's Avatar
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    Hmm, not sure if I've ever totally door-slammed certain people; however, phonies and backstabbers I generally avoid altogether.

  4. #44
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    My question:

    from reading this entire thread, how is this "INFJ Doorslam" phenomenon any different than the "INTJ Dismissal?" We get compared to psychopaths for it because it's a Te more rather than an Fe move? Because INFJs can say it's a "feeling" issue? Well, the motivations are exactly the same! This post too. http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...html#post73350
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  5. #45
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    My question:

    from reading this entire thread, how is this "INFJ Doorslam" phenomenon any different than the "INTJ Dismissal?" We get compared to psychopaths for it because it's a Te more rather than an Fe move? Because INFJs can say it's a "feeling" issue? Well, the motivations are exactly the same! This post too. http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...html#post73350
    Well the INFJ "doorslam" is a coping mechanism when dealing with problematic individuals (by not dealing with them)... forever. Where as the INTJ "dismissal" is pertaining to a specific issue. To the INFJ... the person isn't necessarily in the wrong... it just takes too much effort to manage disagreements.

  6. #46
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    Well the INFJ "doorslam" is a coping mechanism when dealing with problematic individuals (by not dealing with them)... forever. Where as the INTJ "dismissal" is pertaining to a specific issue. To the INFJ... the person isn't necessarily in the wrong... it just takes too much effort to manage disagreements.
    That's what I understood the INTJ Dismissal to be. (See other link too.)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  7. #47
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    I've read the two posts, still didn't quite see the second one in its full context.

    So if the two originates from extroverted judgment paired with Ni... Then sure, you may call INFJs psychopaths as well. Although that's not really what psychosis means

  8. #48
    Member TK*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I read about the "INFJ doorslam" a few years ago on a list-serve or website, and it definitely resonated when I considered my own behavior. The idea is, the INFJ will get so fed up with a person that she'll totally shut that person out of her life. I have done this a couple of times (so far, permanently) when I have felt deeply betrayed or hurt. My anger can be formidable, but instead of railing against the betrayal, I simply shut off and shut out. It feels like it's necessary for survival in the moments when I make the decision, and from other people's perspectives, it seems really cold and heartless. But usually by that point, I have been patient/forgiving/receptive, and then I say "Screw it. You're out."

    I also do this with break-ups, but it doesn't tend to be permanent in those cases. I just have to shut out my exes for a time so that I can clear my brain and heart of them. I didn't do this with the ex I lived with, but he also moved to another town, so I didn't really have to.

    Does this sound familiar, INFJs? Do you do this?
    Yes. As I like to say, "My love is limited." I have a short temper as it is and I try not to shut people out as much when they piss me off, but yeah, when I reach that point it's like: "Fuck this. I don't need it" and I don't look back afterwards or think twice about it. HOWEVER, my shutting people out has gotten me in trouble in the past. I also used to shut people out who I thought were getting too close to me so yeah... not very smart of me, lol. The shutting out is a defense mechanism. Sometimes my temper just gets the best of me and other times I'm just being a coward, lol. As a whole, I'm learning to control both my temper and my fear of opening up so I don't do this shutting out thing too much.
    I am known for being brutally honest...brace yourself.

    INFJ 4w5

  9. #49
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    I rarely feel it as "doorslam" myself. When I've invested my heart and soul into a person, and this person is indifferent to it or investing a drop while I invest the sea, I run dry. I can't give more, I have run out of fuel. I can't insist, it is stupid anyway. So I let go. I usually need to fast, pray and cry many times alone in my room when this happens.

  10. #50
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    I've always done this. I never stay in touch with anyone once the door has closed. I recently reconnected with a childhood friend thanks to facebook and asked my Mom if she remember why this person and I stopped socializing and she said, "you have always dumped people after a while, including marisa". She also reminded me that I lose patience easily and that people have always annoyed me so I guess that's part of the doorslam thing?
    Time is a delicate mistress.

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