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  1. #91
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    It could be a defense mechanism but for me I really just think it's that people annoy me and it takes tons of energy for me to be social and when I become too familiar with most people I feel violated in a weird way and would prefer not to see them again.

    I recently reconnected with a childhood acquaintance. Prior to our meeting I asked my mother if she could remember why I stopped associating with this person and she said it was because I eventually got sick of anyone I was friends with and moved on.

    Dating was just as bad until Limey showed up.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  2. #92
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    Can anyone quote for me the mean, median and mode of the time duration of a TYPICAL infj doorslam? quite frankly, i'd be satisfied just knowing if it was for life, or otherwise (IE forgiveable)

  3. #93
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    time + distance usually works wonders. i can't make myself let go, but time + distance have an amazing ability to do it for me. it's easy to see later, with hindsight, what happened and what needs to happen as far as re-connecting or offering help to someone who needs it, or if the person in question just should NOT be involved in your life.

  4. #94
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    ^ dude/dudette, i'm not talking about SO here, I mean close friend status that you betrayed. How long?

  5. #95
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    it depends. if you're willing to do some ass kissing and have half a brain then you might find yourself back in the circle. I'm not much of a grudge carrier as long as people are able to discuss what may have turned me off in the first place but since people are busy living their own lives I can't expect them to focus entirely on me enough to do all that hoop jumping. also if it appears obvious the door will probably slam shut again. maybe we're just selfish individuals with ridiculously high expectations?
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  6. #96
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    Synarch appears to be one of those NT's who can handle an INFJ with ease. Has you figured out before you know what hit you.
    Yup
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  7. #97
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I don't know that I ever feel that I've completely figured them out. Too deep and I would get bored if I could. But, this depth and complexity is what I like as most other people are transparent to me. With INFJ's I just feel like I can see inside, deep enough to see that they want contact, but no further at first. Burrowing in takes a lot of time and attention and love. Also, I just respond to them automatically and intensely. I cannot control it. The eyes, the quietness, the aloofness, the inner strength all attracts me in a way I am powerless to resist.
    Like sinking into the most comfortable sofa you've ever fell asleep in? Like...Who would want to be anyplace else kind of feeling? I 'get' this.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    Can anyone quote for me the mean, median and mode of the time duration of a TYPICAL infj doorslam? quite frankly, i'd be satisfied just knowing if it was for life, or otherwise (IE forgiveable)
    Typical time duration? I can't say what's typical. For me, I have doorslammed a close relative for going now on its 7th year. No physical contact, no phone calls, none. I even boycott family gatherings held at her place.

  9. #99
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    I do this and I am currently doing this

  10. #100
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whimsical View Post
    I do this and I am currently doing this
    Perhaps it's an INF thing. I have a little bit of INFP in me, and I have doorslamed before, and I doorslam to this day. There's been groups of people who used to be very close to me, whom I've just drifted away from and don't plan on talking to. I just close off all ties, unconsciously, of course, but none the less, I avoid them. I just am looking for something new, and I can't stay in murky waters for too long, so I step out and don't come back in. It's usually nothing personal, but I just feel that I need to move on.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

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