I had exchanged IM message with my ENTJ best friend yesterday, which didn't turn up too well. Though I also wonder if I were being too blunt to get my message across to her through our interaction online:
[out of the blue]
ENTJ: Have you ever thought about web business?
Crescent: Of course, but I don't have any capital for that now. My priority right now is to land a perm job and networking.
ENTJ: What do you want to sell tho?
Crescent: Those trendy kitchenware, home deco stuff on Robson [a main shopping district in Vancouver]. Why did you ask?
ENTJ: I think to start small, you should think about how you can do it yourself. Starting a biz is not about hiring.
Crescent: In that case, it's better start something as a hobby.
ENTJ: Many online biz starts small. Once you have the foundation, you can build a house. It doesn't have to be about selling a product. You could sell a service.
Crescent: Okay, go on.
ENTJ: I was thinking about shopping tour guide. Many financially established people don't like to travel in a big tour. You could advertise as a private tour guide.
Crescent: You want to run that in Van? Go for it if that's your dream!
ENTJ: I'm thinking for you. You need a car tho.
Crescent: Oh hon, personally I think that won't work.
ENTJ: Actually this is not new.
Crescent: T., personally I think you and I have very different judgement in many things. Personally I'm not interested in being a tour guide. People who prefer to go on tour are rather conservative and I don't think it's that easy to deal with them.
ENTJ: Exactly, But they don't speak the languages so they must hire someone to take them around. My friend actually hired one in Laos. She said she really made the best decision of hiring one
Crescent: I'm not interested in it. Period.
ENTJ: Stop being so stubborn. You've been jobless for too long hon. What about Patrick? Just call him, I can give you his number.
Crescent: Well, I know you think of me in a good way for all this, but I think it's equally important not to strongly impose one's ideology or values on others. We have to agree with our disagreement. So I think from now on I hope we will talk no more about my job or career, unless I asked from you specifically. I think that's for the best.
Also, whenever we have serious convos, somehow I felt even more depressed or discouraged after chatting with you. I think that "I'll never be a waitress if I move back to Japan" is not an appropriate joke when I informed you that I have applied for one. I know you didn't intend, but I just hope that you will watch my current life scenario more carefully and put it into consideration as it did affect me somewhat esp when I got a call today for a job interview as a waitress. You knew this beforehand.
And about P., I understand your POV but I hope there won't be any discussion about him either. I seriously do not want to re-connect with him because he can be a little too clingy. Also, he's your ex-coworker and I have nothing in common with him. Even you complained about him when we all lived in Van back then! Being a good friend doesn't necessary mean you have to change them but just try to accept who they are. I know I'm not in any position to be picky when I don't even have much social life here, but I don't want to force myself to hangout with people who wear me out.
Sometimes I felt stressed whenever I felt I had to agree with your just to avoid the topic just to get in line with you over the phone. I am just telling you how I felt truthfully, so I hope you won't take it in a negative way. After all, we've been friends for many years.
ENTJ: I think it's best that we don't keep in contact for a while. There are things you said to me which are equally less considerate. If I have to watch what I am saying around you, then there is not much of truth in our friendship. And really, take your attitude somewhere else.
[ENTJ friend left chat]
I realized I probably reveal too much at once about my complains to her. Though I had been patience to listen to all of her vents from her job and stood by her at all times. Honestly, 2011 hasn't been a great year for me as I had to go through many drastic changes in life. I was quite stressed out as the job prospect didn't turn out to be great here, and yet I felt she had try very hard to be thoughtful of me in her own ways--which I felt it's really energy draining to get this type of random, yet forceful suggestion out of the blue (this isn't the first time she's been doing this to me).
Anyhow. Still, I thought I need a second opinion. I felt perhaps I shouldn't reveal exactly how I felt about the pressure that I had from her. Though one of my weakness in communication is to add sugarcoating when I want to be deeply honest about my POV to anyone who means a lot to me.
I don't know, I guess I'm confused. Perhaps I was wrong?