I know these two types have been said to be quite compatible (at least in the romantic sense), but for my mother and me, it spells disaster.
Long story short.... all I've ever wanted from her is to feel loved, understood, and worth fighting for. However, she is so dominated by her T and J that she approaches everything with cold analysis and "fix it"-driven intensity. Instead of listening and loving on me, she would try instantly just to fix things, and would get frustrated and annoyed when I complained that that wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted to be understood and empathized with. (ohhh, the emotional joys of being an ENFP...) After a short while of me getting more and more upset, she would ALWAYS give up and say the whole "well I tried"/"I can't help you anymore, I did all I knew how to" speech. Then she'd leave. That stung worse than any pain I'd ever felt. As a little girl, seeing my mother walk away from me, claiming she had nothing left to say and nothing more to do with me was like a dagger to the heart. I was young and didn't understand that her T function made it hard for her to understand my emotional needs. Instead, I just built up pain and resentment against her, feeling like she was unwilling to try to understand me. I began to think that I just wasn't worth fighting for in her eyes.
Whenever I confront her about these problems and tell her how it made me feel, the only thing she does is justify her actions and tell me all the things that I'VE done wrong to hurt her. When I explain how her actions upset me, she just comes back with a list of my actions that upset her. This, above all, frustrates me. I was a child. Children are, by nature, ridiculous. Children say and do things that are hurtful, but that shouldn't be taken seriously... kids don't know what they're saying! They react out of emotion. It's the parent's job to take the high road. My mom doesn't... she expects me only and always to concede to her way of thinking and action, and never tries to do so for me.
Even though the bulk of this happened when I was a child, we still have similar conflicts and nothing has changed. I'm at a loss with what to do, because she is absolutely unable/unwilling to see things from my perspective.