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  1. #11
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penguin View Post
    i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

    1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
    and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst.

    Anyone can wear out even the most sympathetic ear. I have friends that I love dearly but they malinger, pout, or continue to regurgitate the same problems on me - I have no issue with problems that a person is actively working on changing, or persistent problems beyond control that dog them (like my friends with ALS or paralysis, or serious financial problems not of their doing).

    I think the key is whether or not you feel like you're being used. Is this person trying to work out a problem and it may be a little messy? Or is this person just griping about something over and over because they want someone else to listen to it? Big difference, IMO, between the two. One is malingering (I had a friend who made her occupation to break up and get back together with her boyfriend, and it drove me NUTS because she'd talk my ear off about it, crying, not doing a thing to change the cycle - frankly, she liked the drama.) One is just the luck of the draw.

    Make yourself unavailable for those vampiring monologues. Or, just come out and say, "Pete and Repeat went out in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?" and let them get the hint.

    2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.
    A great deal of my friends are Fe (though I'm the only primary Fe in the bunch).


    3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?
    Goodness. The things ENTPs and I have gotten up to.

    I've always liked their ability to take me completely off guard in a pleasant way. It's an entirely different yet symbiotic manner of thinking.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #12
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penguin View Post
    3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?
    I'm sure it doesn't happen every time, but I definitely enjoy ENTPs. I dated an ENTP last year very briefly. It was really intense/passionate/fun while it lasted, and now we're good friends (so it's still really fun). We're both intellectually and personally interested in religion, and we get each other in a way that most other people don't get us. It's good. If he hadn't been in a weird place with dating (and, uh, if he weren't probably doomed to be in a weird place with dating forever), I think it could've turned into something serious. But since it wasn't headed in that direction, we just turned it into a delightful, playful, and also very serious friendship.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  3. #13
    ByMySword
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    1) Yeah, usually I don't really care about whiners. The only people I will truly feel for are my friends and family. I do empathize, and I wanna help them, but I can't truly feel the same thing they do because its not me in their position. I'm pretty good at putting myself in others shoes, but I can never forget the reality is that I'm NOT. But on a good point, it allows me to look at the problem from a more logical position, so I can usually help them better, I think.

    2) I like a fight, but not amongst friends. That can be very stressing. But yes, The Brothers give each other shit all the time.

    3) Couldn't tell you. The only ENTPs I've met have been on this site. But I've had a great rapport with them so far.

    and about the first 2, dont think im an INTJ instead of INFJ. I aint. I know that just as well as i know i am a male
    Don't worry. The INFJ is the most thinking of the feeling types and have many similarities to the INTJ. They can sometimes even be mistaken for an INTJ. I've been mistaken for one before. I recently came up with a slogan for INFJs.


  4. #14
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    @ the slogan for INFJ's
    Ace !
    I N V I C T U S

  5. #15
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    if i get the same thing too much, it makes me feel like dikembe mutumbo or bill russell, drive to the hoop and i'm just giving you the nono finger, get that weak %&*@ outta here, not in my house, etc. it's just being bored and wanting a real challenge, a real problem. Ni wants to work, gimme something INTERESTING. this is silly and the game itself is of no interest.

    i respond extremely strongly to emotions, but you have to weasel your way in first. if you don't have a real problem, if you are just caught in a silly and empty tautology that is pointless and is fallow and meaningless to me, if you don't convince me of the severity and urgency of your condition, i will spray a thousand and one yawns with a semi-automatic in your general direction.

    i think infjs get especially annoyed bc the talking keeps ruining my attempts to introvert and untangle myself from your chains of gab. the jukebox in my head keeps cutting out when you keep telling me to turn off all electronic devices.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penguin View Post
    i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

    1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
    and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst
    I'd like to say I care most of the time. I have a natural tendency to 'mother' or as a friend says 'become a crutch' which I think has a lot to do with my typology. I do care about my friends and want the best for them. But sometimes? Yes, I do sit there and wonder if I was their therapist. It especially urks me when I have someone coming to me about the same issue over and over (normally something toxic in their life) and while I care and try to help them. . . they may just choose to do nothing about it.

    I also tend to help when I shouldn't at times and get incredibly emotionally invested in others problems. In the present, I'm trying to work on emotionally distancing myself so that the toxic nature of my friend's problems doesn't end up tossing me away in a storm of their troubles.

    Lately I've begun to see patterns in some of my friends behavior where they do, as you said, seem to make themselves the victims in their lives. They readily step into environments or place themselves amongst people that aren't good for them and do in fact have the choice to not do so.

    Quote Originally Posted by Penguin View Post
    2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.
    Hmmm. . .

    I love a good debate about heated topics. It feels exhilirating and it's almost if I'm feeding off the energy when hot topics are brought up. I am enchanted by philosophical, psychological, and even political talks and will readily jump on them at any opportunity.

    I don't make fun of my friends or tease them to anger them though. I do however tend to tease when I flirt if that has any tie in whatsoever.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penguin View Post
    i am kind of curious about somethings about our INFJ's since i have been puzzled and complexed by this for quite some time

    1) The Empathizing: NF's are good empathizers, and this aplies to INFJ's too but im curious do you people truly do care about the problems they are having? i completely understand what they are trying to say but most of the times i just end up putting my sadface and help them to get over it, but deep inside i am bored by their crying and im thinking to myself "its your damn fault you got into this, now stop whinning and do something about it"
    and for me...doing this continually and turning it into a habbit with someone makes me wonder if i am their friend or a damned therapyst
    Most of the time, I really do care. It's pretty rare that I pretend like I care when I don't. I would feel fake and pretentious and unkind.
    2) Socializing: i end up making friends with Fe, but I am more apreciative of a good fight(not physical one), and i usually end up teasing and making fun of mostly everyone i could classify as a friend.
    I prefer making friends with NTs, but I'm not very good at teasing people. I'm generally too serious. I don't mind if a good friend teases me and makes me laugh--I usually really enjoy it--but I'm no good at play-fighting on a regular basis.
    3) i once met an ENTP girl, at first i didnt think much of her, but then again we didnt talk too much, but then we went on a date, and during the whole date i was like tottaly confused, it was as if my mind went click with every word she said, eventually nothing happened, but it was a damn strange experience, does that happen with every I(NF)J and E(NT)P encounter?
    I don't know. The ENTPs I know IRL aren't particularly articulate, though their thoughts are usually quite interesting. I tend to spend a lot of time listening, then putting their thoughts into words for them, then responding. Fun, but a lot of work.

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