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View Poll Results: do you consider finding the perfect relationship #1 of your priorities?

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  • ages 18-25 "yes"

    4 23.53%
  • ages 18-25 "no"

    6 35.29%
  • ages 26-29 "yes"

    3 17.65%
  • ages 26-29 "no"

    1 5.88%
  • ages 30-36 "yes"

    0 0%
  • ages 30-36 "no"

    1 5.88%
  • ages 37 and up "yes"

    1 5.88%
  • ages 37 and up "no"

    1 5.88%
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Results 1 to 10 of 13

  1. #1
    Yup
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    Default INFJ: Do you consider finding the perfect relationship #1 of your priorities?

    maybe near?

    I have some other questions; does it bother you if someone is not very quick to open up with their feelings and emotions? or are you extremely comfortable with this, because it means you don`t have the burden of doing the same? Finally, where on your list, if there was one, where would having the perfect relationship be at?

    Im doing a comparison between you and the intjs, make sure I understand, where you interest lie. a vote on the pole will work as well, if you don't feel like answering .

    thanks
    "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. "
    -Bruce Lee

  2. #2

    Default

    I'm 30 years old and I would say that it is top 3 as a priority.

    My patience increased throughout my twenties for allowing people to open up in the romantic arena, but has been on a sharp decline since about 27 years old. The desire for biological children has necessitated that I stop conducting myself as if I have forever to achieve this goal because the reality is that I do not.

    I also would say that I want a great, workable/negotiable relationship. Waiting for perfect is a waste of time.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  3. #3
    Member Inverness's Avatar
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    Default

    Yes. And, no it doesn't really bother me that someone doesn't open up immediately, I know I'm not an open book. And I wouldn't say I'm uncomfortable with it, but I wish it was otherwise.

    And back to 'priorities in life' question, yes the pursuit (both concious and unconsciously) for the ideal partner literally runs me, and I say that very begrudgingly.
    INFJ; 9w1 so/sp/sx; EII; RCOAI; Neutral Good

  4. #4
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    Default

    I don't consider finding the perfect relationship number one of my priorities because my belief is that by improving myself and making myself centered first, I will be able to find that right relationship. By focusing first on my character development and on the things that I want to do with my life, the right person will come along because I'm on the right track. Then if that person won't come, I will still be happy doing what I want. That was my thought a year before. Then someone I think is right for me came and I'm in a happy relationship now. Though the future is uncertain, I'm doing my best to make it work

  5. #5
    Senior Member typologywhore's Avatar
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    Well, I know intellectually that "perfection" in relationships isn't possible, but do have an inner ideal that I'm constantly lusting after/looking for. I want to have relationships that are exciting, honest, nurturing, compassionate, effective, beneficial to the growth of both parties. (And yes, that would be relationships plural, as the idea of strict monogamy squicks me on a fundamental level XD)

    Hn. I feel like it ought to tie for top priority along with personal growth. But honestly, on a day-to-day level, I do think about/work towards this kind of vision of ideal relationships more than I concentrate on personal development. Which may be disadvantageous for happiness in the long run.

  6. #6
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yakimadude View Post
    maybe near?

    I have some other questions; does it bother you if someone is not very quick to open up with their feelings and emotions? or are you extremely comfortable with this, because it means you don`t have the burden of doing the same? Finally, where on your list, if there was one, where would having the perfect relationship be at?

    Im doing a comparison between you and the intjs, make sure I understand, where you interest lie. a vote on the pole will work as well, if you don't feel like answering .

    thanks
    I think being an INFJ constantly seek for personal connection from people who shares our values. I wouldn't call my preference of seeking an ideal person as a "perfection" crusade, as I am a firm believer of there's no such thing as flawless personality.

    Though my definition of perfect relationship has to do with the discovery of qualities from others which I don't have, or any in-depth insight which impressed me.

  7. #7
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    I'm 30, and I said no, because of a technicality of semantics. I consider CULTIVATING a HEALTH, LOVING relationship my #1 priority. Or very near, anyway. The perfect relationship doesn't exist, and you certainly can't just "find" it. You have to work at it, and even then you must be prepared to accept its imperfections.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
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  8. #8
    Senior Member kyli_ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    I'm 30, and I said no, because of a technicality of semantics. I consider CULTIVATING a HEALTH, LOVING relationship my #1 priority. Or very near, anyway. The perfect relationship doesn't exist, and you certainly can't just "find" it. You have to work at it, and even then you must be prepared to accept its imperfections.
    Yes, I agree with most of this. I'm younger though, almost 23. I don't think the "perfect" relationship really exists/that I would be interested in it. I think that a relationship that has no strife is probably one that isn't natural. The commitment to work on a healthy and functional and satisfying relationship is the important thing.

  9. #9
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Age 22.

    Nope. A working relationship will suffice. Because, quite honestly, I don't expect the other person to be perfect nor do I want that person to expect that I am either. If anything, it is probably a #2 in my priorities (a working relationship, that is.)

    Working on myself first is the #1, as a person who hasn't come in terms of himself isn't going to see fulfillment with a relationship anyways.

  10. #10
    Step into my office. Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    No. I tend to believe in finding love by accident, which means the active pursuit of a "perfect" relationship isn't really an issue for me. I guess I feel that obsessing on something, or forcing a situation in one way or another, will almost guarantee its collapse. I've seen quite a few people chase what they think they want - without honestly taking into consideration what might actually work for them - and their relationships tend to be very inorganic and awkward at best.

    I suppose I'm romanticizing the idea of blind chance a little bit, but that's how I feel. If you keep an open mind and just happen to develop a connection with someone when you weren't even seeking anything, the bond will probably feel much more natural, authentic, and intuitive. So, I don't worry too much about finding the perfect relationship; I'd rather let love find me. In the meantime, I focus on myself and my work.
    AMERICAN TRASH
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    ~ Gryffindor on the streets, Slytherin in the sheets ~

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