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  1. #21
    Gotta catch you all! Blackmail!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I am a fan of both giving and receiving *sincere* compliments, and am a firm believer that the world would be a better place if people were more forthright in giving them.
    Agreed!

    The best compliment you can give to somebody, is a compliment that will allow her/him to improve as a person, and not stay self-satisfied.

    With my students, for instance, I try to show them the positive qualities of their researches, where they are talented and why...
    It doesn't mean I won't mention their weak points, it means I try to help them to develop the better part inside them.

    Let's talk like an NF: What I'm trying to do, is to send them good karma.
    In this mad world full of stress, anger and bitterness, a good karma is always useful.
    "A man who only drinks water has a secret to hide from his fellow-men" -Baudelaire

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  2. #22
    you are right mippus's Avatar
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    I love compliments, but I hate the awkwardness when actually getting one...
    Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas

  3. #23
    Gotta catch you all! Blackmail!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mippus View Post
    I love compliments, but I hate the awkwardness when actually getting one...
    Compliments are one the favourite weapon of the ENTP rhetorician.

    If there is no awkwardness when a compliment is sent, if it sounds perfectly right... Beware!
    "A man who only drinks water has a secret to hide from his fellow-men" -Baudelaire

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  4. #24
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mippus View Post
    I love compliments, but I hate the awkwardness when actually getting one...
    Yeah, I think this is pretty much descriptive of me too. I just need to learn how to accept a compliment and then I'm fine.
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  5. #25
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    Default Compliments

    I am like many others of you in that I don't know how to respond to compliments. My first instinct is always to say something disparaging about myself or say something like, "Thanks, but it's not nearly as nice as what you've done" or something like that. I'm not good at just saying "thank you." If someone compliments my child, though, which I know is an extended compliment of me, like "oh, your daughter is so well behaved" then I'm fine with it and can accept it.

  6. #26
    you are right mippus's Avatar
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    I have learned to say "thank you" when getting a compliment, but still struggle with it since in some way it sounds so arrogant...
    Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas

  7. #27
    Senior Member sriv's Avatar
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    Same here. I say "thank you", but there is no meaning in it. It is another front set up to get people to think I am nice. When I feel that I deserve a compliment or I see a person put a lot of effort into complimenting me and it was sincere, I give a sincere appreciative "thank you". Words can mean a lot of different things in different contexts.

  8. #28
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    I'm actually uncomfortable with how much I appreciate compliments instead of the awkwardness of receiving them. I'm thinking of compliments from strangers because oddly enough that's where I get them-not people I know. HA! Anyway I like it but I think I shouldn't put so much stock in others' opinions.

  9. #29
    Junior Member dancinglissa's Avatar
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    I'm a bit uncomfortable with a string of compliments. Otherwise, they're okay if they're genuine. But I absolutely HATE IT when I'm in gym class (in which I stink at most of the sports) and I do something like catch the football and run a bit (which I should be able to do) and EVERYONE is like "Good job," which reinforces, "It's an accomplishment for you but not for everyone else!" . I even hate it more when I strike out in baseball or something like that and people say, "Good job." It makes me feel bad about myself, but I don't tell anyone that.
    Last edited by dancinglissa; 04-25-2008 at 05:10 PM. Reason: unclearness
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  10. #30
    you are right mippus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dancinglissa View Post
    I'm a bit uncomfortable with a string of compliments. Otherwise, they're okay if they're genuine. But I absolutely HATE IT when I'm in gym class (in which I stink at most of the sports) and I do something like catch the football and run a bit (which I should be able to do) and EVERYONE is like "Good job," which reinforces, "It's an accomplishment for you but not for everyone else!" . I even hate it more when I strike out in baseball or something like that and people say, "Good job." It makes me feel bad about myself, but I don't tell anyone that.
    Ah, the pity-compliments... horrible indeed except perhaps when they are used as a learning tool in the form of "well done! and now let's move on to the next level"...
    (but then they may well express relief, rather than appreciation)
    Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas

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