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  1. #1
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Default INFJs and Single-Mindedness

    I just got my new book, "Just Your Type, Create the Relationship You've Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type." I'm pretty impressed with it and recommend it to anyone who would like some greater insight into their own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to relationships with other types or even just a good review of type theory.

    I was especially intrigued by some of the comments made in the INFJ profile about our greatest alleged asset/fault.

    [INFJs can] be fiercely independent - willing to subject themselves to skepticism or criticism in order to make their vision, driven by their strong values, a reality. They are earnest and exude an unshakable faith in their beliefs that engenders trust and respect in others.
    Because they believe so deeply in the correctness of their positions, they can be somewhat judgmental or dismissive of competing views. INFJ's single-mindedness can become a liability if they are not flexible enough to modify their plans once they have embarked on a course of action - much like a person driving down a highway and making great time but, unfortunately, going in the wrong direction.
    INFJs' perfectionism can also result in a tendency to be stubborn and unyielding, especially on issues of morality.
    Since INFJs are motivated by their values and deeply held convictions, they tend to take things personally or become offended when no hurt was intended. Unfortunately their sensitivity can cause them to become defensive, to cut people off, or to reject ideas that don't meet their high standards.
    Because they are so ruled by their vision and sense of integrity, they may feel their view is the morally correct one and it would be unjust to yield or compromise.
    Nope, doesn't sound like me one bit.

    Would you consider INFJs to generally be earnest, unshakable, stubborn, single-minded, unyielding, and defensive?
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Griffi97's Avatar
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    Yes, I will admit to most everything you quoted from the book.

    My husband gets pretty frustrated with me at times due to my tendency to be dismissive of other's ideas (that is, his ideas ). I understand his frustration, but I really don't know any other way to be. I wouldn't have a strongly held conviction, after all, if I didn't feel I was RIGHT about that conviction...

  3. #3
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Griffi97 View Post
    Yes, I will admit to most everything you quoted from the book.

    My husband gets pretty frustrated with me at times due to my tendency to be dismissive of other's ideas (that is, his ideas ). I understand his frustration, but I really don't know any other way to be. I wouldn't have a strongly held conviction, after all, if I didn't feel I was RIGHT about that conviction...
    This aspect in my husband was and continues to be the most attractive thing to me about him.

    There's something very compelling about uncompromising idealism, especially in world where so many people change their ideals to fit the mood of the moment.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Griffi97's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    This aspect in my husband was and continues to be the most attractive thing to me about him.

  5. #5
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    you described my room mate.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #6
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Since INFJs are motivated by their values and deeply held convictions, they tend to take things personally or become offended when no hurt was intended. Unfortunately their sensitivity can cause them to become defensive, to cut people off, or to reject ideas that don't meet their high standards.

    Because they are so ruled by their vision and sense of integrity, they may feel their view is the morally correct one and it would be unjust to yield or compromise.
    These are the ones I still see most in myself. I'm working on the taking things personally and becoming defensive thing.

    I'm pretty good at flexing my plans and I've gotten much better at seeing where other people are coming from even if I don't agree with them.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #7
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I would agree with most of those, but there are a few I would change a bit...

    I'm not really sure of the correctness of my positions, I just dismiss other positions if they don't seem more right than my current one. I'm not willing to change my position unless the other can convince me that theirs is better, and I do indeed dismiss theirs unless they find a way to do so.

    The things sensitivity can cause are true, but I would also add that the feeling of being offended/hurt disappears as quickly as it came if I perceive later that the other person didn't intend any hurt... although it might be hard to get me to see it.

    I think that having high standards for accepting most ideas I'm exposed to is fair, because considering how much the ideas I accept influence my behavior, I need to be careful which ones I accept. If I accepted every idea I came into contact with, I'd never know what I believed, or how to act.

    Finally, I'm motivated by my values because I have come to believe that they are good. I don't believe in them for their own sake. If you can show me that something I value is not good, then I will stop valuing it.

    Does that make sense?

  8. #8
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Does that make sense?
    Quite.

    In fact, reading these replies I am now humbly aware of how underdeveloped I am as an INFJ. At least when it comes to awareness of this factor.

    It is apparent that the key difference between an INFP and an INFJ is "determination." And I know that inspires a "no duh" reaction because the J is about being decisive, but the implication isn't quite what I originally thought. Determination comes from devoting strength and attention to the ideas that our experiences and investigations have proven have merit. INFJs utilize determination to constantly strengthen their faith in their ethical/moral values. INTJs apparently have a similar method of utilizing determination to strengthen their faith in their competency. However, it seem that neither INFPs nor INTPs do this, at least to the extant that Js do. It is a factor that limits what INFJs and INTJs can accept from the world, but at the same time, it is a necessary component of implementation. So we end up dismissing possibly relevant ideas/beliefs in order to adhere to our vision.

    I'm surprised people can find that to be an attractive trait. I generally don't like it because it deteriorates harmony between people. Ah, which then results in inconsistency in views because INFJs simultaneously want to adhere to their vision and maintain harmony.

    I think I can now understand where people are coming from when they describe my more undesirable traits. And I also think I now understand the unpleasant feelings I have when I am engaged in a discussion where I am relentlessly arguing for my beliefs.

    Yes, I'm quite pleased with this book.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  9. #9
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    I'm surprised people can find that to be an attractive trait. I generally don't like it because it deteriorates harmony between people. Ah, which then results in inconsistency in views because INFJs simultaneously want to adhere to their vision and maintain harmony.

    If you have Netflix, maybe rent the BBC series To Serve Them All My Days, the main character David Powlett Jones is everything that makes an INFJ wonderful and admirable, while still being maddeningly stubborn and determined. The book is great too. I am unashamdedly in love with David Powlett Jones.

    It is a very compelling story of INFJ trying to find harmony between his vision and his relationships with other people and dealing with the disillusionments of a world that doesn't measure up to his inner vision. It is one of my all time favorite movies.

  10. #10
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Definitely
    My ENTP father just got done telling me " you're so cold " in regard to cutting people off
    That darn Fe-Ti axis is hell on jalapenos
    my friend says something to the effect of
    " you're so difficult " or " nothing's good enough for you "

    i think i will find that book and buy it
    thanks, Kiddo
    I N V I C T U S

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