Hello all of my darling NFs,
OK, here be my situation: Recently I've been getting involved with an NF woman (who by definition are utterly amazing ). I'm convinced she's an xNFJ just because I'm sensing strong Fe and strong Ni from her and I'm leaning more toward INFJ just because she's very shy, very reserved, and very much dislikes conflict or disturbance to her routine.
But I could be wrong.
In any event, one topic that comes up every now and then is how she feels like because her life hasn't turned out the way she wanted it too, that something that makes her less of a person. Like it makes her a "botched" woman. She hates the fact that she's 34 as she feels that prevents her from having kids (she says the risk of birth defects is too high and that she's not sure she has the energy). She's also been in a lot of bad relationships so while she remains (somewhat) hopeful that she'll meet the right, she's over all become incredible despondent that she'll never find the "right man for her".
Mind you, it's not that she doesn't press onor that she doesn't like her life the way it is. It's just there seems to be this inner gloom surrounding it, like no matter how good things are right now...they aren't quite as good they should have been.
Well I'm certainly smart enough to know that I may or may not be a "good fit" for her or not but we get along extremely well and we've both made it clear that we like each other very much. I will admit to having a somewhat difficult time relating to her feeling as I've always been of the mind that if things don't turn out the way you want them too then you either make the best with what you have and move forward or you can continue to sit there and feel miserable about yourself.
Right now my strategy is to be mercilessly and obnoxiously positive, to continue to remind her of her own value, and to be someone she can feel safe and secure with. I have no idea how well this will work but it's something I seem to do very well so I'm sticking with it right
As such, I beesch the lovely and talented NF females on TypoC to provide some insight here. Are feelings like this something any of you have dealt with? Is it something you're still dealing with and have you moved on? If you have moved beyond feelings like this, how did you do it?
Any thoughts or insight would be appreciated.