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  1. #31
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    I'm sure the idea of marrying someone they'd never met is unthinkable but marrying someone they've never had sex with is entirely different.
    Yes, it is concerning to me that there's no way of knowing the sexual compatibility in the match. It's something I would want to know ahead of time myself.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #32
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Yes, it is concerning to me that there's no way of knowing the sexual compatibility in the match. It's something I would want to know ahead of time myself.
    I mean it's not like we don't have sexual chemistry lol we just aren't putting the P in the Va-G. Or other places like that

  3. #33
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Wow, eight years? I lasted two weeks, when I had my first boy friend.
    Look, congratulations. Don't be disappointed the first time though, because it is kinda lame at first. You and your man have a pretty established foundation though, so it will get better.
    Eight years!
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #34
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    I've taken the test many times and I always score very high on the ENFP scale. I used to be way more Extraverted (use to test 90+) but now I am testing around 70% now. I don't think I could be one if I am so much more extraverted. Also, I have met one other INFP, and man alive, he is INTENSE. I've seen Te-Bitchslaps that I have never even came close to passing out. I just don't see similarities with him. What do you see about this situation that could make me INFP? Just the fact that I'm a virgin or something more?
    There is no thing in my book as testing 70% of this or that nor is there a "used to be". MBTI is a function stack, so you are either Ne dom or Fi dom, in other words, you could say "hey, I'm an ENFP" or "hey, I'm Ne/Fi" and somebody that has way too much time on their hands would know what both meant. I think you're Fi because your entire post and choices screams Fi dom to me. MBTI is all about lowest energy use, you can learn to be this or that, in fact it's the whole point of living. However, there is always a default, the easiest or function of least resistance. For this reason, there are almost as many people online thinking they are a type they aren't as there were thinking voting for Obama was a wise decision.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    I do agree that it is Fi values at play and identification of oneself with the values, thus throw some Si in for permenancy. Maybe the tinest bit of Te-ie the sticking firm to a moral commitment made and a wee bit of pride at that accomplishment.
    THis was my thinking.

    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    I mean it's not like we don't have sexual chemistry lol we just aren't putting the P in the Va-G. Or other places like that

    It is how a relationship can bloom properly without clouding it;s growth with surface level distractions. Please, do not think that this is a brainwashed ideal that was stuck in my mind. It is My Choice. and I find it to be the best decision of my life and I wouldn't go any other way. I know sex is great, it's just the ideal that I am losing, I do not fear sex or think it's scary or dirty. I want to make that clear.
    Again, those statements scream Fi to me, if you have chemistry, aren't siting faith as your only motivation for not having sex and you're not freakin the funk outta each other in every room, car, dark ally and park bench you can, I'm thinking you're not an Ne dom. That isn't saying Ne doms are morally bankrupt deviant freaks (guilty as charged) but by default we tend to do things for the experience and I can't see any Ne dom passing this one up because they want their relationship to "bloom properly". Sex is like any other part of a relationship, it's an expression of something. You have attached so much to this expression that it has seemingly become a burden.

    Now listen, to be super clear, I fully support your choices, you need to do what feels right to you and nobody else. I am not attacking you or the choices you've made in anyway, I'm simply offering a perspective that is what I have learned. My main reason for posting was to simply suggest exploring INFP as an option.

    Take this test:

    http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm

    Cut and paste the results with all of the percentages (if you're okay with sharing that).

  5. #35
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    I think you're Fi because your entire post and choices screams Fi dom to me.
    I think what is difficult is I am speaking about a topic that is of value to me. So of course I am going to be speaking from my heart which would be showing Fi. If we were talking about interesting ideas, or you asking for advice, or watching me interact with my friends, you should see more Ne in me. How I am on this forum is different than IRL because I tend to come here on my bad days, on the days where I am in deep thought trying to figure things out. I hardly come and post and do the "fun stuff" on the forum hahah search my posts, it's almost always about Fi stuff because I am like in the zone when I come here.

    I've always kind of felt that my Fi is check and balance. It's the emotional part of me. It is me, that's whats so demanding of Fi, is that I feel like I have to be 100% in everything I do, if there is something that I'm like holy crap, I don't know how I feel about this, I will have to dwell and dwell and see if it fits. Just like if you are Ne/Ti, you're going to be going off the wall with Ne and the MINUTE something strikes you as illogical or irrational or not fitting, you have to call it out, or fix it, or bring it to someones attention. I've always kinda felt that a persons first two functions cannot be lived separately. (unless of course all of the shadow stuff starts to happen.)


    Now listen, to be super clear, I fully support your choices, you need to do what feels right to you and nobody else. I am not attacking you or the choices you've made in anyway, I'm simply offering a perspective that is what I have learned. My main reason for posting was to simply suggest exploring INFP as an option.

    Take this test:

    http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm

    Cut and paste the results with all of the percentages (if you're okay with sharing that).
    No worries, I don't take offense. I just wanted to make sure what I was saying was clear. There have been times where I thought I was ENFP, INFP, ENTP and ENFJ so I love hearing any insight. I did take the test, and here are the results.



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    (Did that show up?)

  6. #36
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    @Samvega-I didnt mean she was an INFP, more that this thread is a very core Fi issue for her. Contrary to popular belief enfps are only a bunch o' whores part of the time, when we choose to be, not all of the time. We can abstain from many temptations if there is a good reason in our own minds to do so. For her, this was a good reason. Hehe, 2extreme is incredibly enfp to me based on how she phrases and uses her words.

    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    It is alarming. Perhaps it is the overtone of laughter or almost poking fun at it/not taking it seriously. The sex stance is always perplexing to me. The whole - I've known him forever so I know he's the one but I won't have sex with him until we're married. I'm sure the idea of marrying someone they'd never met is unthinkable but marrying someone they've never had sex with is entirely different. Except it isn't. The whole resisting change issue is a gigantic red flag. If that is so uncomfortable, why do any of this at all and make someone else just as miserable as the OP is going to be?
    hmm, I dunno, I mean it would not be my choice to skip on the pre-nupt sex, but people did do this for thousands of years and many still had happy marriages. Granted, it isnt the dark ages...hmmmm, it be interesting to see how sexual compatibility between abstinance only couples plays out over the course of the relationship in terms of sexual happiness, based on a larger population... I'd also suggest an ENFP, due to distance from Se, could pull this trick off better than most. It just takes a bit of time to realign the Si based on some new experiences-aka sex.

  7. #37
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    You're placing the value emphasis in the wrong area. It's not about BEING a virgin, it's about having enough self-discipline to REMAIN one until married and live true to the value.

    To hold onto your virginity like some sort of "moral on a pedestal" - this is value simplification. It truly doesn't make you a better person to have remained a virgin all of this time. You are a better person to have lived true to a moral value though. Can you appreciate the difference?

    Consider too ... is your pride itself a moral error? Just something to think about.
    The clarification regarding value emphasis was very enlightening-thank you!

    Can you elaborate on the pride being a moral error? Given the dark paths Ne can lead us towards, it seems we should be proud of our self discipline to stick with our internal compass? Or are you using pride as a reference to the physical state of virginity?

  8. #38
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    Believe me, this isn't anything having to deal with me questioning my love for him or my wanting to get married. We've been dating FOREVER and I know he's the one, I wouldn't have it any other way. And believe me, I want to have sex haha but it's just weird to think that this thing i've valued will now go bye bye.
    It doesn't really go away, it just becomes part of your past, like your high school diploma, or a semester abroad. The Bible also mentions "putting away childish things". For a girl to make the journey through womanhood, she must leave behind the Virgin to become the Mother. This does not mean she must bear children, marry, or even have sex, but rather that she creates and nurtures, produces and takes on responsibility, in whatever way is fulfilling and suitable. Easing and celebrating these transitions in all their depth and scope is the job of rites of passage, something modern Americans do quite poorly at as a rule.

    As for the name change, this is a serious issue that you should discuss thoroughly with your fiance, to ensure each of you understands the other's motivations, values, and reasoning. The two of you should then come up with the solution that is best for you, without regard to custom, or others' opinions.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #39
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    How I am on this forum is different than IRL because I tend to come here on my bad days, on the days where I am in deep thought trying to figure things out. I hardly come and post and do the "fun stuff" on the forum hahah search my posts, it's almost always about Fi stuff because I am like in the zone when I come here.

    I've always kinda felt that a persons first two functions cannot be lived separately. (unless of course all of the shadow stuff starts to happen.)




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    I have to say I have a lot of respect for you, thank you for sharing this post with us as it has given me insight as I hope it has you. I do agree, I get myself in the Ne-Ti loop and when I do I feel stuck, when that happens I turn to TypeC so I know the person most see on here is simply an interpretation of me and not the full picture, I am sorry for not being able to apply that to others/you.

    Agreed, the first two functions are like Siamese twins, they define each other and there is no one without the other.

    You don't have a strong Te or Si to put the Fi and Ne into perspective and of courses the results of an online test aren't the deciding factor anyway, I didn't know how well you knew MBTI but it sounds like you're well aware of your type so no more calling you INFP, promise (:

    I wish you well, enjoy your man, enjoy your love and enjoy your bodies together, it's an amazing thing to share. The girl I was with for my first time had been my girlfriend for 6 years, I will never not love her. It really is a beautiful thing and you are lucky to both know nothing but each other.

  10. #40
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    you're welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Hehe, 2extreme is incredibly enfp to me based on how she phrases and uses her words.


    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    For a girl to make the journey through womanhood, she must leave behind the Virgin to become the Mother. This does not mean she must bear children, marry, or even have sex, but rather that she creates and nurtures, produces and takes on responsibility, in whatever way is fulfilling and suitable. Easing and celebrating these transitions in all their depth and scope is the job of rites of passage, something modern Americans do quite poorly at as a rule.
    i like this, esp bold.

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