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Thread: ENFP and being judged/judging others

  1. #21
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
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    May 2009
    6w5 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post

    sorry, wasn't trying to suggest that's how you should talk to her. was just trying to give an example for lily flower for how to speak in a Te manner that's judgmental but really wouldn't offend an ENFP at a Feeling level.

    she sounds like she has adopted an issue and is kind of letting everything go to hell around it... can't say that's really something foreign to me

    i bet you're totally right... i think we forget how "quiet"/hidden our Fi is, too. i know my best friend gets frustrated with me about that.
    oh, sorry, I probably sound really wound up and like I'm ranting I am a bit, I guess. Sigh. Anyway, don't worry, your comments were very useful and interesting - really.

    I'm just amazed at how many communication issues there are between xNFPs and xNFJs particularly. It makes more sense to me now that I know (a bit) more about Fe vs Fi. It's too bad in a way though. I genuinely think xNFPs are awesome and I think generally you guys think xNFJs are awesome too. Yet there seems to be so much miscommunication. I do think it's partly because we close in a lot of ways, and probably expect more of each other so that when the misunderstandings do arise, they feel that much sharper.

    EDIT: and, you know, I am aware that it is always easier to point the finger and to judge a situation when you're outside of it. Who knows, maybe if I were in my friend's situation I would feel the law was racist too. I suspect I'd be more just frustrated with both the law AND myself, but trying to get on with it (which she is admittedly also doing), but who knows...
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


  2. #22
    Senior Member Array
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    Jun 2011
    2 so/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post

    On the first part: they are way more judgmental than they realize (see below).

    On the second: because Fi is so high, everything goes back to them, which is why they feel like they're being judged.


    E(N)FPs think everything is about them.

    You are probably a lot more judgmental than you realize.

    Not in the usual sense, but in an ENFP kinda way (kinda like you described).

    You won't think of it as being "judgmental", but it is, just in its own way.


    Could somewhat be the case, but could very much be other things as well.

    Knowing the OP's posting history, I'd give the friend the benefit of the doubt.


    I have a nerd crush on you.

    Please do one for ENTP.

    Great thread.

  3. #23


    My INFP friend takes thing personally and tends to make huge leaps of assumptions. Then, she looks at herself and make self-judgement. Back and forth, back and forth. Commonly enough, she asks me those, "if person does you, what will you think". Obviously the person in this hypothetical question is herself.

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