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  1. #1
    Member Rim's Avatar
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    Default Messed up ENFP or just INFP?

    Something is strange...I have been going over my cognitive functions and Ne-Fi is pretty strong, about equal...but my Si seems to suck bad and I have noticed me actively using Te. This could mean that I'm ENFP?

    The answer to the question what energizes me is:

    - being around people for too long can drain me emotionally and frustrate me
    - being alone just normalizes me, I don't get extra energy I just calm down and what was drained gets back to normal.

    I test very introverted and have suffered some psychological trauma in the past (several times) which makes me anxious around people, but even when I'm with people I know well....after a time I just want my private time. Don't ask me to tell what the trauma was in detail...I suck at remembering stuff like that.

    Sometimes I just forget about people....for weeks. I can entertain myself really well with the stuff I'm usually doing. Never a dull moment. I can't stay alone with nothing to do thou...it would drive me crazy...

    Around people I am quiet, composed, answer in short direct sentences...sometimes I will act all strange and friendly. I can also be highly logical and may come off cold or unfriendly, hard to approach, withdrawn and guarded.

    PS: My J and P is about 50-50%. I am melancholic and conscientious, careful, not very trusting, I like to plan (don't follow through) and can be meticulous about things I value, but I am still highly adaptable and flexible. Oh, and I don't like it when people are too emotional and whiny around me -.- meh.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Ive settled on ambivert for many of the same reasons you mention. Tbh, you seem slightly more introverted but thats just off the thread. I think one of the more common mistakes made in determining i/e is the confusion of cognitive and behavioral function. Extroverted cognitive function simply means deriving your energy from the external world, using the external as a way of developing frameworks for yourself. Now cognitive extroversion does often go hand in hand with behavioral extroversion, for obvious reasons. if you derive energy externally you will likely develop social skills, value people, events, trends because these things are external. But its not a rule. I see this frequently with extroverts that came from unhealthy homes or that have been harmed by people. The external cog pref is still apparent, but confidence, trust and optimism has been altered. Ive also seen introverts come from very healthy backgrounds and they have excellenr social skills, confidence and trust. The point is to not look at behaviors, but mind orientation. Remember that sometimes enfps identify as infps because they cant point at any 1 thing and say ” op, theres my ne!” Ne is the lens they use to see everything else. It is inherent it can not be pinpointed. Ive noticed that youll see more enfps talking about fi violations than fi doms!
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  3. #3
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I recognize much of what you describe in myself...I dont tend to be highly extroverted, I dislike social events and interacting with people, and I can entertain myself endlessly in my own mind. I also note Huxley's comment regarding trust and early childhood to be quite apt. There is a lack of trust in the outer world, thus I use Ne in my own mind to explore non-people stuff. I am very much an ENFP.

    Perhaps observe how you use Ne-I now work with an INFP and I note he is as extroverted as me. Where he differs is his response to totally novel ideas. I begin to eagerly consider them and see where they might go (to the point of wasted time), he will actually be sort of dismissive of the new idea at first..."well, I dunno about that." Not anything like an SJ, but a noticable hesitancy to leap off the Ne cliff less than me.

  4. #4
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rim View Post
    Something is strange...I have been going over my cognitive functions and Ne-Fi is pretty strong, about equal...but my Si seems to suck bad and I have noticed me actively using Te. This could mean that I'm ENFP?

    The answer to the question what energizes me is:

    - being around people for too long can drain me emotionally and frustrate me
    - being alone just normalizes me, I don't get extra energy I just calm down and what was drained gets back to normal.

    I test very introverted and have suffered some psychological trauma in the past (several times) which makes me anxious around people, but even when I'm with people I know well....after a time I just want my private time. Don't ask me to tell what the trauma was in detail...I suck at remembering stuff like that.

    Sometimes I just forget about people....for weeks. I can entertain myself really well with the stuff I'm usually doing. Never a dull moment. I can't stay alone with nothing to do thou...it would drive me crazy...

    Around people I am quiet, composed, answer in short direct sentences...sometimes I will act all strange and friendly. I can also be highly logical and may come off cold or unfriendly, hard to approach, withdrawn and guarded.

    PS: My J and P is about 50-50%. I am melancholic and conscientious, careful, not very trusting, I like to plan (don't follow through) and can be meticulous about things I value, but I am still highly adaptable and flexible. Oh, and I don't like it when people are too emotional and whiny around me -.- meh.
    based on the video I saw of you on personality cafe, you seem more introverted (though it is more unusual for an INFP to question their introversion. for ENFPs on the other hand, it's basically the norm)
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  5. #5
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Where he differs is his response to totally novel ideas. I begin to eagerly consider them and see where they might go (to the point of wasted time), he will actually be sort of dismissive of the new idea at first..."well, I dunno about that." Not anything like an SJ, but a noticable hesitancy to leap off the Ne cliff less than me.
    Another possible interpretation - it's kind of an auto-balancing function ..... he notices what he considers to be your over-exuberance and wishes to correct for it, therefore appears less enthusiastic than he feels internally. Helps to slow things down some, and allow time for value assessment.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #6
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Another possible interpretation - it's kind of an auto-balancing function ..... he notices what he considers to be your over-exuberance and wishes to correct for it, therefore appears less enthusiastic than he feels internally. Helps to slow things down some, and allow time for value assessment.
    This is an interesting perspective. I'll watch for it and see if I can observe it-however I note this in his approach to topics that I am not involved in at all as well. I admit it can frustrate me a bit, as i note he makes a judgement without enough info, then later has to reappraise situations as his first call was not the best solution. We are both new to the project though, so I suspect with time, his first choice will become more accurate as he gains context.

    PB, I do note something odd though-he will make comments that make him sound like a bit of an ass. They tend to be very Te style like "well I guess you didnt plan well enough huh?" or " haha, our boss liked my work better than yours" or " hands down, my project was better than everybodys". Then he says he was just kidding and starts laughing. I think he REALLY is just making a joke, but he works on a team with a bunch of enfps with our Te inferiority complexes, so when he does this we all just look at him in horror. It's actually gotten to be really funny as of late, as I have gotten to know him better, but at first, it was very OMG. It is fun, as I have never been in an in depth long term interaction with an INFP IRL, so I am learning a great deal. He is a good teammate all around.

  7. #7
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    PB, I do note something odd though-he will make comments that make him sound like a bit of an ass. They tend to be very Te style like "well I guess you didnt plan well enough huh?" or " haha, our boss liked my work better than yours" or " hands down, my project was better than everybodys". Then he says he was just kidding and starts laughing. I think he REALLY is just making a joke, but he works on a team with a bunch of enfps with our Te inferiority complexes, so when he does this we all just look at him in horror. It's actually gotten to be really funny as of late, as I have gotten to know him better, but at first, it was very OMG. It is fun, as I have never been in an in depth long term interaction with an INFP IRL, so I am learning a great deal. He is a good teammate all around.
    Interesting. You telling me that makes me cringe too, so IDK whether that's specifically an INFP thing? (I can't imagine saying that around colleagues myself.) Sounds like a competitive streak or some insecurity / self-esteem / work issues, tempered with the attempt to make it all seem jokey but still have some teeny bit of bite to them.

    It does make me think a wee bit of my interactions with my Dad, Si dom, and how he might provoke me to that level of verbalization - I grew up in a very competitive family and basically everything was about being the "winner" and who was the best at any particular thing, from comparing marks between my siblings, to sports, to competing watching Jeopardy on TV every night, to who was the Scrabble champion etc etc.

    Even to this day, if my Dad wins at Scrabble or whatever, he dances around doing his "champion" dance. So if he particularly annoyed me, I might, for example, remind him that I am the Boggle champion and challenge him to a duel to see if he could defeat me. Si tert issues?

    Wonder what enneagram type your coworker is? Does your new work test for that too?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #8
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    First of all the thread title made me laugh.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rim View Post

    - being around people for too long can drain me emotionally and frustrate me
    - being alone just normalizes me, I don't get extra energy I just calm down and what was drained gets back to normal.
    I would say you are more introverted than extraverted based on the text above.

  9. #9
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I'm totally just pointing this out and does not reflect me true feelings, but your title sounds like you're saying INFPs are naturally messed up, and I know that's not what you meant. ANd you sound introverted like me, because there are periods where i need to be around people but i can go weeks without them it's more about balance
    :
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #10
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    You sound more introverted than extroverted to me as well

    I've got a cousin who seemed very extroverted when she was young. In her teens, she was diagnosed with a non-life-threatening but untreatable illness, and she was severely depressed for a while. Now she has learned to live with it and doing fine, but she seems much more introverted than she was in the past. I don't know if it's possible for your type to change over something traumatic. Perhaps she was always an outgoing introvert, and the illness just made her more self-sufficient
    4w5 sp/sx EII

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