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  1. #1
    Junior Member plaminal's Avatar
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    Default INFJ Daily Life: Plans, Strangers,etc?

    Hello. I've been trying to learn all about INFJs and I have a lot of adjectives and descriptions of usual thoughts, what's important to you, etc. but no concrete details of daily life.

    Do you make plans, lists or schedules for the day? On paper? If you make plans, how closely do you follow them? Do you try hard to get all the items done that day? If so, do you usually succeed?

    When you go outside, such as to a park, do you nod or greet strangers who pass by? Do you wait to see if they speak first? Or do you generally look down or away? Is whatever you do the normal thing for where you live? (Small Southern US city dweller here--greeting is fairly common, but not everyone does it. If you initiate a greeting, 99% of the people respond.)

    If you come up to someone with a well-behaved-looking dog on a leash, do you often stop to say something nice about the dog to the owner, and pet it if it's okay? Or would you do these things if you lived in an area where this was common?

    Would you rather stay home than go to a somewhat crowded park with lots of kids and dogs but also a river and waterfalls? If you stayed home, and the weather was sunny and not too cold, would you do yard work (or wash the car, or whatever you might do outside) or sit and read?

    I realize the answers will vary, not only by person but by living circumstances.

    If you can help, much thanks.

  2. #2
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    Hello. I've been trying to learn all about INFJs and I have a lot of adjectives and descriptions of usual thoughts, what's important to you, etc. but no concrete details of daily life.

    Do you make plans, lists or schedules for the day? On paper? If you make plans, how closely do you follow them? Do you try hard to get all the items done that day? If so, do you usually succeed?
    No. I keep everything in my head I need to do. If I don't feel like doing it that day, I push it to another day. I never go out of my way to do an errand, usually (as I live out of town). I just incorporate it into my schedule when it fits best, and if I forget then I just do a week or so later.

    When you go outside, such as to a park, do you nod or greet strangers who pass by? Do you wait to see if they speak first? Or do you generally look down or away? Is whatever you do the normal thing for where you live? (Small Southern US city dweller here--greeting is fairly common, but not everyone does it. If you initiate a greeting, 99% of the people respond.)
    For me, it totally depends on my mood. If I'm feeling very introspective, I'll look down and away and not even acknowledge. Mostly I smile a small, warm smile, then look away. If I'm in a really good mood, I'll even say Hi! And smile big.

    If you come up to someone with a well-behaved-looking dog on a leash, do you often stop to say something nice about the dog to the owner, and pet it if it's okay? Or would you do these things if you lived in an area where this was common?
    If the dog sniffed me, I would. If they didn't venture too close, I'd exhibit the behavior of the previous question. I don't really like strange dogs getting me wet with their slobber as I have a rabies phobia.

    Would you rather stay home than go to a somewhat crowded park with lots of kids and dogs but also a river and waterfalls? If you stayed home, and the weather was sunny and not too cold, would you do yard work (or wash the car, or whatever you might do outside) or sit and read?
    Yes. I'd hike at home. Or sit outside and knit. Or lie in the sun.





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  3. #3
    Vulnerability Eilonwy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    Hello. I've been trying to learn all about INFJs and I have a lot of adjectives and descriptions of usual thoughts, what's important to you, etc. but no concrete details of daily life.

    Do you make plans, lists or schedules for the day? On paper? If you make plans, how closely do you follow them? Do you try hard to get all the items done that day? If so, do you usually succeed?
    If I have a lot to do, I put it on paper. Most of the time it's a fluid list made up of things that might have to be done that day, along with things that might not have to be done for weeks. Some things might never get done (like answer so-and-so's post on TypoC ). If I'm really overloaded, then I'll do day-by-day lists. I didn't do lists as much before I started taking care of my mom, but now my time is so limited that lists help me keep on top of everything. If I make plans, I tend to want to follow them pretty closely, though I'm learning to be more flexible. I used to try hard to get all items on my list done, but found that I always left one or two undone.

    When you go outside, such as to a park, do you nod or greet strangers who pass by? Do you wait to see if they speak first? Or do you generally look down or away? Is whatever you do the normal thing for where you live? (Small Southern US city dweller here--greeting is fairly common, but not everyone does it. If you initiate a greeting, 99% of the people respond.)
    It depends on what mood I'm in and how much of a hurry I'm in, but, in general, I will make eye contact, smile, nod and say "hello". I have to say that this is not my natural behavior but social behavior that I felt I needed to learn. My natural behavior would be to be so much inside my head that I wouldn't be much aware of my surroundings. I'm not that great at small talk, so I rarely initiate it with strangers. If they say something to me, I'll respond, but will try to get out of there as quickly as I can to avoid a drawn out conversation. The greeting part does seem to be the normal thing for where I live.

    If you come up to someone with a well-behaved-looking dog on a leash, do you often stop to say something nice about the dog to the owner, and pet it if it's okay? Or would you do these things if you lived in an area where this was common?
    It depends on who is holding the leash. If I feel safe with the person, I will interact with the dog if it's okay to do so.

    Would you rather stay home than go to a somewhat crowded park with lots of kids and dogs but also a river and waterfalls? If you stayed home, and the weather was sunny and not too cold, would you do yard work (or wash the car, or whatever you might do outside) or sit and read?
    Stay home. I hate yard work and will only do it when it has to be done. I would prefer to sit and read, or lie in a sunny/shady spot.
    Johari / Nohari

    “That we are capable only of being what we are remains our unforgivable sin.” ― Gene Wolfe

    reminder to self: "That YOU that you are so proud of is a story woven together by your interpreter module to account for as much of your behavior as it can incorporate, and it denies or rationalizes the rest." "Who's in Charge? Free Will and the Science of the Brain" by Michael S. Gazzaniga

  4. #4
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    Do you make plans, lists or schedules for the day? On paper? If you make plans, how closely do you follow them? Do you try hard to get all the items done that day? If so, do you usually succeed?

    Yes, I write my to do lists on paper. It's a way of harnessing an overload of floating thoughts and obligations that start to feel confusing or overwhelming or like I'll forget them. Unfortunately, I don't follow my plans very closely. Most days, I end up with stuff on the list still left. I have a tendancy to start writing EVERYTHING down that needs to be done at home, work, etc and then it just seems like too much to humanly accomplish. I sometimes go on kicks though of attempting to do two or three unpleasant tasks everyday first until they are all knocked off, but I am rather inconsistent. Talking to my students about how to practice/learn new skills has lately given me a conscience nudge that I don't practice what I preach! I do prioritize in my head though what really matters and rarely do I turn up without getting those things done, unless I am not sure how to approach them and it starts taking on a life of its own, or if it is an unpleasant task that evokes negative emotions which I am putting off.

    When you go outside, such as to a park, do you nod or greet strangers who pass by? Do you wait to see if they speak first? Or do you generally look down or away? Is whatever you do the normal thing for where you live? (Small Southern US city dweller here--greeting is fairly common, but not everyone does it. If you initiate a greeting, 99% of the people respond.)

    I'll follow people's leads, but generally I'm an eye contact and a nod/greet person. I like to be friendly. Exceptions might include when I don't want people to feel welcome to talk to me, or when something seems a little off about them.

    If you come up to someone with a well-behaved-looking dog on a leash, do you often stop to say something nice about the dog to the owner, and pet it if it's okay? Or would you do these things if you lived in an area where this was common?
    I'm not much of a dog person - I mean, I like specific dogs, but not people's dog babies/children or dogs in the abstract. I'm allergic to dogs, so don't tend to pet them and don't want to offend their owners by seeming standoffish with their pet. I'm not crazy about babies in the abstract either, but sometimes I'll comment on or approach someone with a baby if they are compelling, newborn or if the parent looks like they would appreciate it. I think I relate to people better.

    Would you rather stay home than go to a somewhat crowded park with lots of kids and dogs but also a river and waterfalls? If you stayed home, and the weather was sunny and not too cold, would you do yard work (or wash the car, or whatever you might do outside) or sit and read?

    That seems like a rather specific scenario! No, I like people watching, so I'd go. I don't love yard work, so I'd be more likely to put it off by reading a good book if I stayed home. Every now and then I am seized by a great wish to clean and neaten my surroundings, even though I generally live in somewhat chaotic (though not dirty) surroundings. If I had the ideal scenario, my place would be company ready quite regularly. In reality though, I kind of like messing it up a bit and putting on a good clean up once a week. It kind of becomes a problem though when I have a busy week plus several busy weekends in a row. I also HATE putting sheets back on the bed and will even sleep on a bare bed, curled up in a comforter for a day or two to avoid having to do it, even though it's not that bad once I get going. Maybe that's why I'm both attracted to and frustrated by people who like more order than I do. I was always the kid in grade school with a bit of a messy desk.

    I realize the answers will vary, not only by person but by living circumstances.

    If you can help, much thanks.
    {}
    Last edited by fidelia; 11-12-2011 at 10:07 AM.

  5. #5
    Junior Member plaminal's Avatar
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    AphroditeGoneAwry, Eilonwy, fidelia,

    Thank you. This kind of detail adds some life to the summaries about things like empathy, reserve, thinking about possibilities, and so on.

  6. #6
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Not sure if you still want responses, but I'll answer anyway

    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    Do you make plans, lists or schedules for the day? On paper? If you make plans, how closely do you follow them? Do you try hard to get all the items done that day? If so, do you usually succeed?
    I sort of know what I'm going to do each day, so I don't make a concrete plan or a list, unless:
    - there is something very important that I need to do but that I have no real personal interest in (which I will most likely forget if I don't write it down)
    - there are many, many separate tasks involved and I need a list to help me organize my thoughts
    - I am feeling overwhelmed and need a list as a morale-boosting tool so that I can fill it with many easy tasks to 'tick off' and feel better about myself

    If I'm serious enough to make a list, I usually manage to do most of the items on it. Even when I don't, by the end of the day I will have made plans to deal with the leftover items the next day, so it's all pretty manageable.

    When you go outside, such as to a park, do you nod or greet strangers who pass by? Do you wait to see if they speak first? Or do you generally look down or away? Is whatever you do the normal thing for where you live? (Small Southern US city dweller here--greeting is fairly common, but not everyone does it. If you initiate a greeting, 99% of the people respond.)
    No, I don't greet strangers, but then I live in a big city and there are always a million people around anyway.

    If you come up to someone with a well-behaved-looking dog on a leash, do you often stop to say something nice about the dog to the owner, and pet it if it's okay? Or would you do these things if you lived in an area where this was common?
    I'm a dog lover! I don't own one, so I jump at any chance to pet other people's dogs!

    So, yes, if I see a dog, I will always smile at the owner, and if they don't seem to be in a hurry I'll go up to them and say how cute their dog is. I don't think it's that common, but people are generally friendlier towards people with dogs.

    Would you rather stay home than go to a somewhat crowded park with lots of kids and dogs but also a river and waterfalls? If you stayed home, and the weather was sunny and not too cold, would you do yard work (or wash the car, or whatever you might do outside) or sit and read?
    Stay home. I never feel comfortable going anywhere crowded. It's never cold where I live. If they weather is nice, I might go out for a walk, but most of the time I like curling up on a sofa and read.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    Do you make plans, lists or schedules for the day? On paper? If you make plans, how closely do you follow them? Do you try hard to get all the items done that day? If so, do you usually succeed?
    Yes, I always make plans and loose schedules. Most of the time, I just do this in my head. For example, "Okay after work I need to go to the store, then I need to stop and get gas because that's going in the same direction and I should be done by 6:30. Then I have to feed the cat and....." But when I have to do something I don't like to do, like clean the house, I always make a list of things that need to be done on paper so I can viciously mark them off when they're finished.

    I never follow my plans to the letter. Plans are mainly guidelines for myself. But I do try hard to get most of the items done that day. I don't always do everything, and I don't really bother myself about it. As long as I got a good chunk of stuff done , I'm happy. Whatever I don't finish, I work into my plans for later in the week.

    When you go outside, such as to a park, do you nod or greet strangers who pass by? Do you wait to see if they speak first? Or do you generally look down or away? Is whatever you do the normal thing for where you live? (Small Southern US city dweller here--greeting is fairly common, but not everyone does it. If you initiate a greeting, 99% of the people respond.)
    I nod, yes. Always in response, rarely first. I'm not much of a "Hi, how ya doin?" kind of person. Just a simple acknowledgement. The nod says a lot, really. It says, "I see you there. This is nice isn't it. Glad you share the same activity as me." I have a very hard time feeling not guilty about not returning someone's greeting. It feels rude to not respond, but to me it's not rude to not greet in the first place either. I, too, live in the South, so yeah, it is generally polite to return someone's greeting in some manner or at least meet their eyes briefly if I'm not initiating. (Which could be arguable. If I meet their gaze, they feel compelled to acknowledge that, so you could say I start it, but I don't say anything.)

    If you come up to someone with a well-behaved-looking dog on a leash, do you often stop to say something nice about the dog to the owner, and pet it if it's okay? Or would you do these things if you lived in an area where this was common?
    I love animals, so, I usually at least pet the dog if it comes up to me. Or reach out a hand so it can sniff mine as we pass. But I usually don't say much to the owner. I usually just smile a little and tell them it's all right, I don't mind their dog coming over to me.

    Would you rather stay home than go to a somewhat crowded park with lots of kids and dogs but also a river and waterfalls? If you stayed home, and the weather was sunny and not too cold, would you do yard work (or wash the car, or whatever you might do outside) or sit and read?
    If it was the weekend, I'd probably go to the park even if it was crowded. And actually, I frequently go hiking on days when everyone else is on the trail. It doesn't bother me, since I usually go on trails where eventually, the people thin out as I go through the tougher terrain. I like it when people ask me about the trails in the park. I know them rather well, so I suppose it gives me a little pride to be able to guide them to the best trail for their purposes. When I do stay home, though, I'm usually inside playing video games. :| For some reason, I don't like going outside much around the apartment. Maybe it's because there's just not much to see.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  8. #8
    Junior Member plaminal's Avatar
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    21% and Kyrielle, thanks--more information is always useful!

    Kyrielle, when I read your answer, and especially this: "I like it when people ask me about the trails in the park. I know them rather well, so I suppose it gives me a little pride to be able to guide them to the best trail for their purposes"-- I 'ran' to see where you live--I have done and felt exactly the same thing around here. But nope, not even the same state.

    I guess I should stop doing thanks... keeps bumping the thread up, I think, and other people may need answers more than I do now. But if anyone else writes something, I'll read it, and will be *thinking* thanks.

  9. #9
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Why are you interested in INFJs? Is it person specific, or just wanting to understand the type better?

  10. #10
    Junior Member plaminal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Why are you interested in INFJs? Is it person specific, or just wanting to understand the type better?
    Well, I asked because I don't know what I am--the tests give me lots of different answers and none of the descriptions fit very well. So I'm going to study each one for a couple of days, in depth, and INFJ comes first if you alphabetize them.

    Dang, that almost sounds as though I'm using you. Well, I am, but not in an unpleasant way, I hope. I do appreciate the answers.

    I think I'm getting closer to knowing. For one thing, I'm getting to see what the types are like "in real life"--I've read a lot of threads in INFJ. It seems that many people don't fit their type in all regards; at least they don't totally fit the descriptions in articles. Maybe none do. Maybe I don't have to.

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