Alright chaps, let's be having you. I did a cursory search for this sort of topic and didn't find anything. Perhaps we should have a go at listing the things we like in a lady? I'm convinced that there must be some INFP fetishists out there somewhere. Maybe we should give them some tips?
Disclaimer: I am E4w5. I'd be interested to hear from INFP 9s and others about my suggestions.
In a woman, I look for her to be:
Nothing touches me more than a girl who is tender-hearted. When I say caring, I don't mean that I want a woman that is going to wash my clothes for me or cook my dinner (but if you feel like putting a wash on, I won't stop you ) - some people really enjoy indulging in pre-conceived gender roles. If you are at all interested in me, you've probably noticed that am quite prone to introverted reflection and melancholy. Don't worry, though – you can snap me out of it! What I need is for you to accept that whatever you like about me is inextricably linked to this strain of sadness. I'd like for you to be caring towards me and realise that sometimes I just get a bit down. Cheer me up by making me see it's not all doom and gloom. INFPs desperately want to have fun, but we need to feel that we are first allowed to have fun. We need a bit of looking after from time to time. We are bit too sensitive sometimes...
This could be tricky since the concept is so hard to define. I value authenticity, so I don't want you to pretend to be whatever you think a lady should be – just be yourself. What attracts me is how your gender differs from my own. Understand that I am at odds with my own gender most of the time because they act much differently from me, and think in different patterns. Femininity is a colossal draw for me. It makes me want to study you and learn everything about you, because I sense in you an energy so very different to my own. I really want to bask in its glow.
You'll probably never realise just how marvellous it is to see you smile, or to hear you laugh, or to smell your skin, or to see you move “just so”, or to notice how you flick your hair from your face...but we do. Just be yourself and don't try and second-guess us; don't try and be what you think we want you to be. Worse, don't every try and be what you think others have wanted you to be. We really want you to be you, because that allows us to be us. Let us perceive everything about you – we love to soak it all up. If you're engaging us, don't be concerned about your perceived “flaws” - we are totally oblivious to all that. We are not comparing you to other girls; we don't care that your nail varnish is a bit chipped; we aren't aware if you're feeling nervous. We're really quite focused on your loveliness
Not just in me, but in something. It doesn't matter what. This is where INFPs can really get involved with other types. It doesn't matter if you're an NT and you just love being a lawyer or if you're an SJ and you love being a mentor to troubled teenagers, just let us know how much you love it. Depth is compelling and it makes me want to learn more about you. It suggests that you are not superficial, which is a heinous crime in our book.
I really enjoy a good put down. A well-crafted and thought-through jibe is excellent. Linguistic dexterity is always noted. I like a girl that's clever because it means she can think for herself. So much the better if she can be a bit caustic at the same time. Perhaps I'm just an intellectual masochist but it is wildly attractive to be stopped in your tracks. INFPs are extremely playful, it's just that we are very selective with our playmates. Show me that you can play my game!