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  1. #11
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Yeah! Women should be allowed to answer! Gays too! Dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Edit: i would want the same characteristics if I were talking about a guy.

    What do you want??????

  2. #12
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BAJ View Post


    There may be hope!

    --------------------------

    My circumstances are that I'm not affluent at all, but I'm also 40 years old with a small member, effeminate voice, tragic and self-absorbed INFP 4w5. Thus what I want is basically someone who can tolerate all that, as well as some other things I'll never even revealed on a forum.

    Also, it is a major plus in all relationships if they have a way to see my life as a comedy of errors rather than a tragedy, and make me laugh at myself as well. It's necessary that they see past the lack of conspicuous consumption to the core beauty. I'm speaking of friends as well, but whatever I say about relationships applies to the concept of "her" as well. It would be lovely if she is a polisher of diamonds, who does not mind the grime in which they are found.

    Further, I believe she must be the director. She must, very patiently draw me out without spooking me, and coax me towards activity with her, and in the world. As part of this process, it would be best if she realized that withdrawal into myself and that seclusion is normal for me. She probably must take the initiative without me feeling trapped in a web of obligation beyond my personal energy.

    I'd state physical characteristics, intelligence, or other factors, but I don't have the resources. It would be the equivalent of a beggar being handed the keys to a Ferrari. I must be realistic considering my own physical anatomy or lack of resources.

    I did love an ISTJ who drifted into an ESTP recently, but she had many admirers, and many were like her, a genius with very attractive physical characteristics. She was used to a life somewhat better than I could give her, since father played monopoly with real buildings, and her main boyfriend was the type of genius who would take the I-phone apart and make it compatible with other networks.

    In fact, she exposed me to her world, watching anime in basement the exclusive computer lab of the honors dorm or visiting the yacht club to watch the regatta come in. I went out with her 28 times, which is by far a record for me.

    I guess I burned up a lot of obsessiveness with her (though not all of it, I'm sure). I come to see my life as less of a quest to find "her", and more of an experience where each person opens a portal to new worlds. It's like...with this person...new worlds are born or explored...the world of herself...the world of myself and herself.

    It's not quite like "The unbearable lightness of being", since I haven't thrown out all my heavy suitcases, and it's not a sexual quest to collect the treasure or uniqueness...since I've not fucked...but it's more a quest to appreciate each new world, and experience the new worlds opened...to experience the birth of a new identity of myself in the context of each person. There is a music of being which plays only in the context of that person. I seek that. I look for that, and I'm not as attached to finding the perfect note. Indeed I expect it to be transitory, and never take her for granted while she is there.
    I lol'd so hard at every paragraph. You sound like you are worth polishing.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  3. #13
    Member Rim's Avatar
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    =O people really have ideal partner expectations?

    :\ hmm well...I'll know when I see her. I like different girls for different reasons.

    There is just one thing I dislike: hysterical weak girls who whine at everything. That sort of thing is very unattractive and I don't like the idea of dealing with it for prolonged periods of time. I'm likely to fall out of love instantly and leave if it happens. (has happened before)

    Being sad or melancholic is one thing, there can be reasons for it...but being weak and whiny to get what you want...that is just not okay (and I put it lightly).
    Enneagram: | 6w7 cp - 4w5 - 1w2 Sp/Sx/So | The Philosopher King

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  4. #14
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rim View Post
    =O people really have ideal partner expectations?
    That's a real infp answer ! Rock on !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  5. #15
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    A pair of lovely and well-rounded... Dom and Aux functions
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  6. #16
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rim View Post
    =O people really have ideal partner expectations?
    I'm not sure where this notion of "ideal" came from. The original post consists merely of qualities that I/INFPs might like in a partner. It's also for others to consider what INFPs look for. Nothing more and nothing less.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  7. #17
    Member Rim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    I'm not sure where this notion of "ideal" came from. The original post consists merely of qualities that I/INFPs might like in a partner. It's also for others to consider what INFPs look for. Nothing more and nothing less.
    Yes indeed where is the idealism? INFPs are supposed to have an ideal image of the girl they want and then get disillusioned when she doesn't meet it.
    Enneagram: | 6w7 cp - 4w5 - 1w2 Sp/Sx/So | The Philosopher King

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  8. #18
    morose bourgeoisie
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    in truthI look for low intelligence. that way she won't know what hit her. if she has a car i can steal, so much the better.

  9. #19
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    A Y chromosome
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
    http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...psdunkqmep.png
    5w4 . IEI . Chaotic Good
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    Likes yama liked this post

  10. #20
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    There has to be a connection. An emotional intimacy that goes beyond the trivial and that you can truly connect with.
    They should be slightly attractive, but if we like you, then we can find nearly anything attractive in you.
    If nothing else, you should be able to sense some things about us, so we don't have to explain everything.
    yerp

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