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  1. #21
    morose bourgeoisie
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    My first GF in high school was INFP-ish. It was alright. I'm avoiding a relationship with one right now, even though she's trying to pull me in. I just know that she will get hurt and will hate me, so I'll keep my distance.
    I dated an ENFJ a few years ago, and it was really cool to be with someone who really feels, and cares for others.

  2. #22
    Junior Member Lyssah's Avatar
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    Bump^^

    I'm an INFP who has been dating an INFP for 6 months now and we are a bit older, in our very early 30's.
    Our courtship has been....meteoric...to say the least! A shooting star. I walked around with a permanent blush for 2 months.
    Things are starting to get more comfortable now, and I have noticed him pulling away a bit. We have talked on the phone every night since the first time, and what was frequently 3-5 hour conversations has started to reduce to 5-20 min. This is perfectly natural, but a change. Having been in lots of romantic relationships and being a student of personality theory, I am very in tune with what is going on between us and I see some potential problems that could occur if left unchecked.
    I agree with the poster who said that there could be some competition, or one partner could get threatened by the other "stealing" the limelight. I was recently introduced to my partner's friends and family and while I know he is incredibly proud of me, I could tell their enthusiastic reception and praise got old to him very quickly. We also are both prone to depression and down moods. However, so far, we have been good for each other in that we know how it feels to be in a mood like that and we can help the other by being understanding. A big problem for us is mood transfer. If he is in a bad mood for an extended period of time, it can leech off on to me and I might be a bit down for the next day or so and vice versa. I have also found as we get more comfortable with each other, emotional communication is not flowing as freely. This again is typical for most relationships I think, but where he used to tell me most of whatever he was feeling and I could rest assured that there was no unspoken values not being met or resentment being built, now he is holding more back and I continually feel the need to ask him probing questions to ascertain if there are things existing that could foster resentment. In some ways, I feel this is a benefit to us, because I know my own heart so well I can anticipate future problems between us and hopefully address them before they become huge issues.
    So those are the challenges we've faced so far. In closing, I would like to go back to the beginning and say that even though we have obvious struggles, noone has ever made me feel the way he has. Just by being himself, he has the uncanny ability to heal anything that is wrong with me. I bloom like a flower when we are together.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by xenaprincess View Post
    Personally I'm more drawn to sensitive T types, who can pick up on whether I'm sulking but not take the sulking personally, ha. I also feel more comfortable knowing they can withstand my snarkier or darker moments. My INTJ fiance is very practical and realistic. He slaps me into action, but can easily see when I'm in a mood and is quick to give me a big hug.

    That's just me. It depends on what each INFP feels s/he needs.
    I agree, I would never want to be with another FP. I value, crave, and appreciate the difference that a TJ brings too much. I am attracted to and function well with the T, and outright need the J to ground my P (plus it's just so much fun making them loosen up and laugh despite their best efforts not to when they get grumpy.... muwah ha ha ha..... the power. )

  4. #24
    Senior Member Porcelain Hearts's Avatar
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    I have an INFP friend trying to pursue me right now and as much as I enjoy the connection of NFs, I find we have too much in common. He's quite sensitive, more so than me and I've dated enough sensitive men to know how that would pan out. Emotional expectations for instance; being so intuitive can set ourselves up for falling short to meet our own ideal. And emotional people under stress, actually retreat to their emotions even more, rather than say "fuckit" and draw their attention elsewhere. I need a "scientist" to ground me.

  5. #25
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    For some infps everything that has to do with infps is hell. And one can just hope that one day they may understand too, how truely lovely they are instead in reality
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #26
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    I've had a crush in a INFP, and we used to talk a lot - and we still do. We share lot of things in common, we have many similar tastes, opinions, doubts, self-doubts, and I like a lot to talk to him about those stuff. He is a very pleasant person to be around. Now he's dating another INFP, hehe. They get along very well, they talk a lot too, they laugh a lot, and are very sweet to each other. I think that a good way to charm an INFP is talking to them, so why not another INFP to do it?! INTPs would be another great choice though! But I didn't have so many internal workings in common with the INTP, which I had with those two INFP I've talked about - and which would be another nice subject to talk about.

    Still, I don't think I could handle another person who would be as sensitive and emotional as me, or even more... So I lean more to the Ts...

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfa View Post
    I've had a crush in a INFP, and we used to talk a lot - and we still do. We share lot of things in common, we have many similar tastes, opinions, doubts, self-doubts, and I like a lot to talk to him about those stuff. He is a very pleasant person to be around. Now he's dating another INFP, hehe. They get along very well, they talk a lot too, they laugh a lot, and are very sweet to each other. I think that a good way to charm an INFP is talking to them, so why not another INFP to do it?! INTPs would be another great choice though! But I didn't have so many internal workings in common with the INTP, which I had with those two INFP I've talked about - and which would be another nice subject to talk about.
    The bolded is definitely accurate. However, if I had to choose between another INFP or an INTP, I'd take the INTP any day of the week. They are a blast to talk with, and give added dimension to the relationship with the T difference.

  8. #28
    Member WheresRocket's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lyssah View Post
    A big problem for us is mood transfer. If he is in a bad mood for an extended period of time, it can leech off on to me and I might be a bit down for the next day or so and vice versa.
    Hi - first time delurking just to say, this mood transfer thing is a big problem for me, too. I'm an INFP married to an ENFJ, and the places where our NF parts have butted heads over our six-year relationship have made me quite sure that two letters in common is as much as I could have handled.

    This is of course, my preference, and may be because I am 100% introverted and really need those E--J tendencies to balance me out.

    But the problems we've encountered as two Idealists are definitely things to be aware of and tackle head-on: we do the mood-transfer thing; we lose perspective easily and have a hard time returning to objectivity; we sometimes enable each other to avoid tasks we don't like doing (too much empathy and nobody to be the enforcer); we are both awful about forgetting and procrastinating regarding household maintenance; when we argue, we get caught in a loop of hurting each other's feelings and endlessly self-flagellating for being hurtful. (Frankly, we are terrible at arguing; learning to fight well is our biggest uphill battle.)

    I love my Idealist-Idealist relationship, and we're both aware of the pitfalls we're prone to and work on them together. It can be done. But for me, this is as close to my own type as I can handle. I would have crashed and burned long before now with another INFP.

  9. #29
    Member Curtis B's Avatar
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    Hello Friends! This is my maiden post on the forum, sorry for bringing up such an old thread; I thought it applied to me well...

    I am a male INFP who has recently entered (about 2 months ago) a relationship with another INFP. We get along incredibly well, we understand each other, respect our mate's need for alone time, and we love to talk about running away with one another.

    As an idealist I've always played my crushes up, picturing them as this perfect person, and I've always been let down. Until now. I, personally, think that the INFP-INFP combo can work very well. We have issues deciding what to do, but with a small amount of unpleasant planning, we can usually decide upon something.

    I'm still in high school, as is she, but we both care for each other deeply. I think the most important part of a (my) relationship is being romantic; every night before I fall asleep I text her a short, one to two stanza, poem. Origami also makes for a great little "gift" and always makes the partner smile, even if it's expected.

    I couldn't love her more INFP-INFP can DEFINITELY work.

  10. #30

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    I am fairly close to an INFP guy... we are nearly identical in many ways. 4w5, wanderers, intellectuals, sort of uncomfortable with the syrupy sweet brand of romanticism.

    But I think if we dated, it would be a complete clusterfuck of mis-communication and confusion. The highs would probably be the best thing I would ever experience with another human being. But the second one of us got depressed... god help us. I've been with him when he was really upset once, and I instantly melded with his emotional state and couldn't shake it.

    As an INFP, I recognize my own areas of weakness, and then see them to even greater degrees in other NFPs... it's a turn-off when I'm trying to progress in growth myself and not get pulled back. But NFP friendships are the best.

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