[INFJ] INFJs and Se?

[Black Hole Sun]

I wonder how this manifests itself in everyday life, and was wondering if I have been using it for a while.

I am pretty much into a very nice life style and having money and being able to buy what I want whenever I want it. I tend to obsess about my appearance and the details of how my clothing (Even though I dress normal not flashy because I don't standing out, I just don't like leaving in wrinkle clothing.) Anyway I become obsess with detail of my clothing or hair if I go out, I don't ask people just in my head I know it what is going on. I based this on cultural and family in a way, but idk.

I am into celebrities news and whats happening there, not so much magazines, but more like entertainment tv programs.

I get really aggressive and angry when technology fails me, it is like I explode, but it can be with people too I just tend to scream more, but that is when everything builds up though I wouldn't want to hurt anyone, ever.

I am pretty aware of my surroundings, I heard it is because I social anxiety, but idk I notice people around me, their body language and tone in stuff.

The only issue I have really is not being able to live in the present moment, my mind is usually somewhere else.

So what do you all think? is this Se? how does it manifest itself?

Thanks.

 

[Domino]

My sister says that if I were left alone with the space shuttle, I would be up in the cockpit pushing all the buttons and making it submit to my will. lol

 

[Lightyear]

I don't think I have that many Se moments, if I become aware of my surroundings and try to influence them it's because my Ni is making a deeper connection. For example a few years ago I was driving with my friend through the English countryside and I saw this beautiful field of poppies which reminded me of the Wizard of Oz and I convinced her to jump into it and take photos. She is an ESFJ and took far better photos than I did, she had an amazing grasp of how to make the actual flowers look beautiful on film while I was far more interested in the surreal, magical aspect, how the situation reminded me of fairytales I have read.

I tend to become aware of my surroundings only if they are out of the ordinary (maybe that's why I like travelling so much, everything is new and exciting) or somehow mean something to me or remind me of something (a house I see might remind me of my childhood). Often I can be completely oblivious to what's around me, it's like my brain is filtering out a lot while I walk along thinking about whatever.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

Usually for me, it manifests itself in both the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good:
-Making observations of little things around me that catch my interest.
-Experiencing aesthetic beauty in everything around me, especially while listening to music or observing art and nature.
-Making myself presentable to a degree.
-Dancing to music.
-Romantic intimate moments.
-Desiring to kick ass, which boosts self-confidence.
-Feeling sexy, sassy, and confident when in charge.

The bad:
-The tendency to use inferior Se tactics to manipulate.
-Resorting to sensory pleasures (watching too much videos, eating more than usual, etc.) to get through stressful situations.
-Wanting to have too much control of a project, tendency to be self-indulgent in the creative process.
-When after resorting to self-indulgent sensory stuff, I end up feeling a sense of emptiness and superficiality.
-Case of verbal fluff in conversations just to keep things entertaining for people, which ends up making me feel like I am not being myself.

The ugly:
-When my temper flares... and the ESTP shadow shows its dark side... not pretty.
-Getting aggressive with comebacks to show strength ends up backfiring and it resorts in additional conflict.
-Becoming covetous and desiring instant gratification.
-Impatience.

 

[Skyward]

Usually for me, it manifests itself in both the good, the bad, and the ugly.

...

This is how I see it in myself, too. Though instead of suffering from a sense of 'not being myself' after expressing Se in conversations, I suffer from a sense of 'shit, I'm interrupting people with stuff -I- think is important.' Se moves faster than Fe for me. Thankfully, I am getting better as I grow up at getting Fe in there enough to make Se less blunt and rude.

I'm hyperaware of my unattractiveness, too (Well, rather, I have never in my life been told that I was attractive, and I compare myself to attractive people. Oh ideals how they murder me), so I rarely feel 'sexy and sassy' when in charge, but it still feels great in that I go 'wow... I AM competent!' (no hyperbole) and then my mood jumps up until I make another mistake.

Se really gets me to overemphasize details, making it hard for me to see myself in a good light when something bad happens because of my actions.

Man, the first two points under the Ugly are spot on for me. I used to have a horrible temper when I was younger, and now I've just developed a long, damp fuse. Only when people seem to be screwing with me on purpose does the fuse light.

 

[Black Hole Sun]

This is so very fascinating!

It looks like Se make us more keen to our surroundings, and could make us use it to compare ourselves to everybody else.
We could use it to manipulate people and make us hard on ourselves.

So interesting thanks.

Anything else?

 

[Bamboozle]

Not an INFJ but am close to an INTJ. INTJs share the INFJ's inferior Se and a lot of the things being said here resonates with what I hear my friend talk about. (Of course, still not exactly the same. I sense Fe at play in some of the descriptions here that's not so much at play in this INTJ's experience. Not surprising). It might make for an interesting comparison? If not, just skip this post?

Though Se is her inferior, she reports being hyper-sensitive as many of you here have. She couldn't stand the tags and even the seams of her clothes until later in life and used to wear everything inside out to avoid being irritated by them all the time. She and her ESTP friend used to be the only ones in the group to be always alert to their environment and would often be able to eavesdrop together, simply because they were already listening anyway. She loves over-indulging in Se pleasures, too, like [MENTION=8888]CuriousFeeling[/MENTION] mentioned—clothes, food, mindless tv…but she also reports being compelled to hurt herself every now and then, almost as if to see if it still hurts.

At the same time, though, she's deeply mistrustful of the physical environment (and that's why she says she feels compelled to be super-aware). If she bumps into a table, she's inclined to think it's the table's fault. I think it's the same idea with technology, as you mentioned [MENTION=13267]Black Hole Sun[/MENTION]. She senses that she's not as comfortable in her physical environment as everyone else (although, she doesn't look it. She used to be a dancer). She's envious of the way that Se-doms seem to instinctively know how to move in any environment whereas, some days, she feels as though the environment is full of traps that will trip her up, etc. She's embarrassed to try anything physical out if anyone's looking—e.g. gadgets, because she senses that she doesn't pick up on cause-and-effect as quickly as everyone else and so has to spend a lot of time looking at the gadget first, then going over the gadget, testing things out, replicating the process again to make sure that it works every single time, etc. Finally, she doesn't trust her aesthetic sense because she knows she's drawn to things that just indulge her Se but which are probably just tacky—things that are sparkly or glittery, for example, haha. In spite of that, she's actually the best dressed person I know.

The relationship that the MBTI types have with their inferior is always really fascinating, I think! A push-pull relationship.

 

[tibby]

It makes me want to go out dancing.
It makes me aware of how fabrics feel on my skin. When I was little even socks would irritate me as they just felt so tight. It has gotten better as I've aged but it's still there.
It makes me want to not look like I've crawled out of the grave and put a bit of effort to make myself look good.
It makes me go on shadow ExxP role sometimes where I want everything faster, faster, faster. Much like mentioned above I'll pay less attention to people just to get 'things moving'.
It makes me seek gratification -- I'll dance sassy in the nightclub and let the moment take me, it makes me smoke, eat, drink or whatever it is, more, when under stress.
It makes me insecure in my environment. I am clumsy and always feel a bit out of touch.
Then again at times it gives me that kick and I feel like putting on my metaphorical boots and OWNING THE SPACE and be in total control of my environment and myself. I'm in perfect sync and I feel sexy.

Pretty much everything in CuriousFeeling's post hit the nail for me.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

INFJs... ever have one of those Se moments where you get so sensitive to things, that the texture of clothing, that if it doesn't feel right against you, you just want to get the damn thing off, or the wrong lighting/music becomes bothersome, or when the temperature isn't set exactly so, it makes you feel so frustrated?

 

[Black Hole Sun]

INFJs... ever have one of those Se moments where you get so sensitive to things, that the texture of clothing, that if it doesn't feel right against you, you just want to get the damn thing off, or the wrong lighting/music becomes bothersome, or when the temperature isn't set exactly so, it makes you feel so frustrated?

AHHHH! all the time! I felt soo helpless because I could never explain myself..I can hear every sound around me, smell everything it drives me crazy. I haven't really made the connection to functions though, but yeah I typically tell people I want to float to not feel anything (especially when I was a kid), then I get a strange look lol.

Thank you everybody who answered, it is really helping me get a grasp on some of my hidden Se moments.

 

[Lenian]

It makes me want to go out dancing.
It makes me aware of how fabrics feel on my skin. When I was little even socks would irritate me as they just felt so tight. It has gotten better as I've aged but it's still there.
It makes me want to not look like I've crawled out of the grave and put a bit of effort to make myself look good.
It makes me go on shadow ExxP role sometimes where I want everything faster, faster, faster. Much like mentioned above I'll pay less attention to people just to get 'things moving'.
It makes me seek gratification -- I'll dance sassy in the nightclub and let the moment take me, it makes me smoke, eat, drink or whatever it is, more, when under stress.
It makes me insecure in my environment. I am clumsy and always feel a bit out of touch.
Then again at times it gives me that kick and I feel like putting on my metaphorical boots and OWNING THE SPACE and be in total control of my environment and myself. I'm in perfect sync and I feel sexy.

Pretty much everything in CuriousFeeling's post hit the nail for me.

Calm down..We're all damaged and broken, some more some less. There's a good book by John Eldredge. He writes a guide to show how people heal. It's called "Captivating".

 

[redacted]

It's the source of my constant impatience.

It's also the reason I can't talk on the phone without pacing or playing minesweeper.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

It's the source of my constant impatience.

It's also the reason I can't talk on the phone without pacing or playing minesweeper.

I got called out on my pacing habits today while eating lunch... it's like when I'm thinking about a problem or big idea, I shuffle around... sometimes in circles like the Ni-Ti loops going through my brain.

 

[Luv Deluxe]

A lot has been said here that resonates with me, especially the tendency to appreciate the aesthetic beauty of one's environment (or to notice a lack thereof). I am also acutely aware of my own appearance, and consequently, I am very deliberate in the daily application of products that help to ease my superficial insecurities. I also like to dress well and maintain a certain level of physical fitness. I love music and have strong reactions to it; it's not possible for me to be unaware of or apathetic to the soundtrack of my surroundings.

I can't so readily identify with the Me vs. Technology scenarios, however. If a device "fails," I don't freak out unless the problem is obviously quite serious. Instead, I do what I can to fix the issue. Don't get me wrong - I'm very emotionally expressive. Under stress, though, especially when I need to perform or accomplish something, I tend to switch into a sort of combative stoicism. In a crisis, I don't typically experience meltdowns; I grit my teeth and take matters into my own hands, insofar as I can. Also...I don't really care about the celebrity/entertainment world. I love film. I could list the roles an actor has played, but not the women he's dated. I tend to remain very unaware of that stuff.

I have to use Se for my job these days, too. I run cameras and shoot ice hockey. Definitely can't do that and daydream at the same time.