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  1. #11
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    From a practical side, MBTI/Enneagram wise, what do you think that is connected to?
    I'd forget about MBTI for this and look at Enneagram. In particular, you may want to consider Tritype. There might be some useful things you'll discover.

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  2. #12
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    well, i'm high on 7, 8 and 4. I'm 7 throughout the day, 8 when i get stressed, and 4 when i get to the core of myself. and sx/so instincts. so what does that tell me?


    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I'd forget about MBTI for this and look at Enneagram. In particular, you may want to consider Tritype. There might be some useful things you'll discover.

  3. #13
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    wait a second.....do you think 7 can be translated as Ne, 4 as Fi and 8 as Te? Then it would explain why I feel 7 during the day, 8 when stressed and 4 in my core. what do you think?? i'm excited about this! (even though actually I'm not sure how this helps my problem, but whatever)

  4. #14
    Senior Member wildflower's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    ^thank you both of you.
    In short, I think my goal is to develop a deep meaningful relationship with a person. I am always trying to get to the deep meaning of things, the truth, and what happens is in the beginning of my relationships people only see me as this giving, motivated and positive person and of course they love me for it but I start to doubt whether they love the real me or a false image they have of me so I unconsciously start putting them through trials - basically they consist in me being aggressive when I feel hurt. I guess last night reading your posts I understood that even though I am not an insecure person in general, I have actually more insecurities than I thought and I understood it boils down to the fact that I unconsciously think i'm not worthy of love. Even with close people, like my mum, sometimes I am insecure she doesn't love me so I lash out and seek confirmation. So I think I have to work on that (but I don't know how).

    From a practical side, MBTI/Enneagram wise, what do you think that is connected to?
    this is really insightful about yourself and i am sorry for what you are experiencing in these breakups. i think anyone would have a hard time with their exes moving on quickly and so seriously. what you've described above sounds to me like a counterphobic type 6 where the person is afraid of abandonment and so tests others to see if they will stick around. you might want to check out some good descriptions of the counterphobic 6. (i'm not crazy about hudson & riso's description of it. helen palmer is a bit better i think.) maybe the main thing is to just be honest with yourself and the other person how you are feeling rather than act out your emotion. hope that you find your own soulmate soon.

  5. #15
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    shit. i really identify with that as well. especially all the stuff about being a warrior, being brave, being loyal, fear etc.
    I'm still pretty confused about the enneagram. although i agree with my MBTI, with the enneagram I can easily identify with many aspects of the 6, 7, 8 and 4. And every time I take a test the percentages of these fluctuate. So I'm not sure I can trust the enneagram that much. I still fail to see the big picture. Mmmmh....

    Quote Originally Posted by wildflower View Post
    this is really insightful about yourself and i am sorry for what you are experiencing in these breakups. i think anyone would have a hard time with their exes moving on quickly and so seriously. what you've described above sounds to me like a counterphobic type 6 where the person is afraid of abandonment and so tests others to see if they will stick around. you might want to check out some good descriptions of the counterphobic 6. (i'm not crazy about hudson & riso's description of it. helen palmer is a bit better i think.) maybe the main thing is to just be honest with yourself and the other person how you are feeling rather than act out your emotion. hope that you find your own soulmate soon.

  6. #16
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    I seem to be largely incapable of having a relationship so far.

  7. #17
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Have you thought to identify any situations in your life that could help put barriers in your relationships?

    I know for me... everytime I knew I would deploy, a guy has wanted to date me.. and each time, that deployment put a stressor on an early relationship that had too much weight for the new relationship to handle. It's just the way it is.. it's not like I could get mad, or think it was me... the situation itself tends to put a damper on it all.
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  8. #18
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    huh you're the girl with the funny voice you're in the army? ("deploy"?)

    .....now, dear little fellow enfp, did you read the beginning of this thread (including my replies in the middle?) :P i'm almost sure you skipped most stuff, otherwise you wouldn't have replied like that but thank you for your input

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Have you thought to identify any situations in your life that could help put barriers in your relationships?

    I know for me... everytime I knew I would deploy, a guy has wanted to date me.. and each time, that deployment put a stressor on an early relationship that had too much weight for the new relationship to handle. It's just the way it is.. it's not like I could get mad, or think it was me... the situation itself tends to put a damper on it all.

  9. #19
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Most of my things are pseudo-platonic or infatuations, which general last less than two weeks. I would consider a relationship beyond this...one where people lived together... to be a highly evolved situation.

    Generally I crave intimacy, but I need my alone time or quiet time. Also, I crave a model of intimacy, but in truth it terrifies me. Therefore I sabotage my relationships. Thus I wonder if I really do want a relationship...deep down. And if I want one, could I handle it?

    I don't want to say a relationship is impossible for me, but I feel it would involve a rare confluence of events, mutual tolerance, and mutual imperfections. I view it as a rare possibility.

  10. #20
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Uuuuh we should get together. We would make shit splash all over the place....we would be the counter-relationship couple.....we could rule the world!

    Quote Originally Posted by BAJ View Post
    Most of my things are pseudo-platonic or infatuations, which general last less than two weeks. I would consider a relationship beyond this...one where people lived together... to be a highly evolved situation.

    Generally I crave intimacy, but I need my alone time or quiet time. Also, I crave a model of intimacy, but in truth it terrifies me. Therefore I sabotage my relationships. Thus I wonder if I really do want a relationship...deep down. And if I want one, could I handle it?

    I don't want to say a relationship is impossible for me, but I feel it would involve a rare confluence of events, mutual tolerance, and mutual imperfections. I view it as a rare possibility.

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