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  1. #11
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt_s View Post
    I would try to rid myself of the assumption that all the girls are shallow and the guys are idiots. You really have to take people on a case by case basis. It'll be (at least) four years of you vs them if you maintain this mentality.
    I definitely agree with this. I was a loner in HS, and it was a lonely 4 years, but I made myself that way by carrying a mentality that I couldn't relate to anyone & that no one would "get" me. I kept people at arm's length, but in my head, I was an outcast. It was all my own doing.... I came off aloof & disinterested to people, which is why I think they did not befriend me. I realize now that I was not as invisible as I thought because of people I've run into from HS who remember me better than I do them.

    Don't convince yourself that you're sooo different (especially in a superior way) that there's no way you could be friends with or have anything in common with your school mates. Try to take some initiative with people.

    Oh yeah, and as a side note, I did not find HS easy as a female INFP. I was not teased, but I was very isolated & felt I had no "place". I coped by skipping school a lot (which did not affect my grades because I was otherwise a good student) and getting ahead on credits so I could leave half day before lunch time the last 2 years (I really dropped out from socializing after that). I don't suggest those methods, but I'm just explaining how it was difficult for me socially.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  2. #12
    Anew Leaf
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    haha, pep rallies were the devil's eggs!

    I was popular in high school because I played to my strengths... without even realizing I was doing just that. I was simply nice to people and took them as they came. A lot of people I wrote off as being shallow ended up showing me their true selves and I discovered a lot of hidden depths to people because of that. I started off with just a small core of friends in one year. Then the next year I made a point of saying hi to some other girls I thought were interesting. I befriended them and then their entire group of girls. From there I just kept saying hi and smiling to people and being myself. At the beginning of my senior year, our class was broken up into about 12 different cliques. I had made friends in each of the little cliques so often I would sit wherever I wanted to on a given day at lunch, and when I did I would bring over people who normally did not associate with the other group. Eventually I didn't have to sit with both groups anymore to get them to chat with each other on occasion.

    I also discovered I could be silly/funny with people and get them to laugh with me not at me, and I hammed it up quite well in that regard as well.

    In contrast middle school and elementary school were absolute nightmares for me. I had no friends and was bullied on a daily basis.

    So in summation I say do what works best FOR YOU and that you will be comfortable with. Whatever that is, start off small and go from there. Whether you leave highschool with 5 friends or 50... the important thing is to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin.

  3. #13
    Junior Member akc30's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt_s View Post
    I would try to rid myself of the assumption that all the girls are shallow and the guys are idiots. You really have to take people on a case by case basis. It'll be (at least) four years of you vs them if you maintain this mentality. What really got me through as a young infp was getting involved in service projects. I still rely on volunteerism to this day to keep my sanity. Take an art or music class. Most importantly, avoid pep rallies like the plague.
    I know that not all the girls are shallow and all the guys are idiots but the upper classmen say that they dont like my class and one person i talked said some of the freshmen were rude and disrespectful to the upper classmen.
    If we find our selves with a desire that nothing in the world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world

    - C.S. Lewis

    It is in all of us, to defy expectation, to go into the world and to be brave and to want, to need, to hunger for adventures, to embrace change and chance, and to that we may breath and know what is to be free.

  4. #14
    Member Matt_s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    haha, pep rallies were the devil's eggs!
    Can't say I've heard that metaphor. I like deviled eggs but can anything belonging to the devil make for a positive colloquialism? Is this a regional phrase? I'm truly fascinated by this kind of thing.

  5. #15
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    i can't really relate to bad high school experiences.
    i was like the only foreign student in an entire school
    of new englanders plus it was a boarding school so i
    was stuck living and going to classes with all the people.

    most people at first just assumed i didn't speak english. i
    looked different, i dressed different, i talked differently,
    i was brought up culturally different, but i enjoyed the
    differences and i was open to new experiences.

    i was in jazz band, played the trombone and piano,
    did varsity sports. i somehow ended up managing
    the boys varsity football team in the fall, and in
    winter i'd play squash with my dorky goggles and
    i did crew in the spring. everything at first was out
    of my comfort zone. but i'm glad i went out and did
    stuff for myself. if i just sat in my room and moped
    around i'd probably would have had a shitty time.

    i honestly had an incredible amount of fun. i tried
    everything i could. didn't care if i'd enjoy it or not,
    just wanted to at least try.

    i'd say not to wait for the things around you to
    change in your favour -- they won't. you have
    to make it happen for yourself. and a change
    in attitude thinking people are either stuckup
    or idiots would probably help.

    it's like... would you wanna hangout with people that
    assumed you were an idiot or stuckup?
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  6. #16
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    i can't really relate to bad high school experiences.
    i was like the only foreign student in an entire school
    of new englanders plus it was a boarding school so i
    was stuck living and going to classes with all the people.

    most people at first just assumed i didn't speak english. i
    looked different, i dressed different, i talked differently,
    i was brought up culturally different, but i enjoyed the
    differences and i was open to new experiences.

    i was in jazz band, played the trombone and piano,
    did varsity sports. i somehow ended up managing
    the boys varsity football team in the fall, and in
    winter i'd play squash with my dorky goggles and
    i did crew in the spring. everything at first was out
    of my comfort zone. but i'm glad i went out and did
    stuff for myself. if i just sat in my room and moped
    around i'd probably would have had a shitty time.

    i honestly had an incredible amount of fun. i tried
    everything i could. didn't care if i'd enjoy it or not,
    just wanted to at least try.

    i'd say not to wait for the things around you to
    change in your favour -- they won't. you have
    to make it happen for yourself. and a change
    in attitude thinking people are either stuckup
    or idiots would probably help.

    it's like... would you wanna hangout with people that
    assumed you were an idiot or stuckup?
    I feel like I gained more from having a lax schedule in high school. it saved me a lot of stress, gave me a lot of time to think, deal with some emotional problems by myself and avoid a lot of stupid life choices and destructive habits I saw many of my peers fall victim to
    at the same time though, my lax schedule has left me with a void of life experience and I now find myself having to work much harder than before where if I had had a more full schedule in school I would probably be a little more used to it.
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  7. #17
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    Hey, I just finished my Freshman year, so I understand all of those thoughts! It may seem at times that all the girls are stuck up and all the boys are jerks, but although some are, there are many that can really change you.
    Maybe, you could try looking at the situation from their perspective. If you can't do that, there's no hope because they're ESTJ. Otherwise, it shouldn't be too hard. Try to find common ground. Increase your relationship
    with your existing buddies if possible.
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  8. #18
    Member idk's Avatar
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    She posted in 2011 so she's probably gone now but

    Just try to remember that everyone is insecure and some girls are very needy and they act stuck up because they think it will boost their ego...but they aren't happy either. You all have the same personal struggles, you just handle it differently based off of who you are becoming and what morals you have- if any.
    Some girls are gossips, shallow, total assholes. But they don't matter. Just find good friends who appreciate you and build relationships where you can be there for them and in return they will try hard to be there for you. Not just in high school but in life.

    Middle school ruined my self-esteem (because I didn't know myself well enough) and when I entered freshman year I saw every bullied kid as someone I used to be, so I tried to show them how beautiful I thought they were and it turned out they didn't care about me. Then, I met real friends and now I have several different people who care about me and tell me I make THEM happy.. and one of the boys who I thought was stupid and immature at first is someone who has become a love interest. He was never perfect, but no guy was. He doesn't always respect other people (stupid boys) but he's always had some kinda strange respect for me. I didn't notice how valuable he really was to me until I opened my mind to him. He's been a stupid, selfish typical high school boy, but he truly respects me in his own dumb way and cares about my feelings. I even realized after a while that for the year I didn't notice him, he got upset every time I passed by him and didn't notice him. He seemed really shallow but the way he feels towards me shows does have depth of caring. After realizing what he could be worth, I asked him out after another year went by and we had a few short conversations and he accepted. My friends didn't like him, and people said he was a "stupid surfer who has no respect for any girls" huh. So you never know what you might find.


    Sorry for posting my life story, i'm sure no one cares but I started thinking and I didn't stop.
    Just here doin' my thang (Also thanks to everyone being so nice!)
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  9. #19
    SpaceCadetGoldStarBrigade Population: 1's Avatar
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    High school. A reason to keep you off the streets for a few hours a day for four years. A soap opera for the popular kids and a lonely slog for the freaks and geeks (of which I was in both camps, freaks have more fun IMO). Public school taught all the somewhat valuable stuff in the years prior to this. It was a complete waste of time.

    Anyway it wasn't anymore difficult or awkward than the rest of the journey.
    To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams

    Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. Jim Hopper

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