Possibly. But being seens as "cold" or "unapproachable" are definately not things people have said or would say about me. I am very self-disclosing and absolutely not a cold person in general (I volunteer at a homeless shelter mondays reading to kids and do temporary animal placement!) Its just more of a fascination, a following. I do find it difficult to observe people in pain, or being humiliated, which is very much why I don't like to watch senseless horror flicks (though some part can appreciate the artistic angle) and why I don't like to watch talk shows. When I perceive pain, humiliation, etc. in someone I get fairly choked up myself. These times of intense eye contact are specifically upon meeting, in interviews, or in deep conversation with people close to me. Ah, who knows. I suppose it could be related to many different things, or not.
I didn't mean you were cold! I was talking about this... Or something more detective-esque (like in that TV series with Tim Roth).
Perception of yourself by others =/= self-perception. It's easy to misinterpret stuff.
But I believe its more of a case that not all strong eye contact indicates deception, but that skilled deceivers will prefer to develop strong eye contact.
I object this generalization.
Yes, people who are deceptive can have a hard-time to offer strong eye contact. Though the same is true as what Southern Kross has pointed out. Obsessive-compulsive liars are very good at this.
However, lack of self-esteem and people who are naturally born shy or introverts always have problems in this area no matter how hard they try to overcome this. I had trained students for school interviews and there are some kids who couldn't overcome it, no matter how hard I try.
Apart from this, INFJ tends to construct and articulate their words carefully as they speak and this often results in not able to focus on giving proper eye contact. It's not like we're trying to apply Fe into our response (although we do that sometimes), but it's more like it's difficult to translate our thoughts into words in a way that people can comprehend easily.
i naturally just look at people when i talk to them. i only ever even think about eye contact when i notice the lack of it in someone else.
I usually make eye contact with people when I'm talking to them. It gives me an indication on whether they want to hear more or whether they are even listening to my rambles. :P I don't hold it for too long because it starts to feel weird at some point (too intimate maybe?). Similarly, if I find someone attractive, I still make some eye contact but it's never ever prolonged.
I avoid making eye contact with anyone who (I think) might want to sell me stuff, convert me and save my soul, and so on.
It is easier with F types, I think. I almost always look at girls' eyes when I talk to them, because I am attracted to their eyes in general. I find that I lose myself in girls' eyes at times, thinking "Hmm...these are lovely eyes!" I don't tend to feel shy about this at all.
I don't look other men in the eye so often. I find that if you treat most men the way you would treat a fox you meet in the street, you can't go far wrong.
That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
Of any world where promises were kept,
Or one could weep because another wept.
In interviews and the like, I maintain eye contact with the other person while I am listening to them. But whenever I speak, I have a harder time focusing on someone else... it makes me feel uncomfortable, especially when I am searching for the right words.
“Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche