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  1. #1
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Default Those INFJ Facebook pages can be scary

    I don't know if it's the INFJ part, or the Facebook part, or both...but seriously, they just make me want to run screaming back to TypeC.

    Some interesting things pop up, but I very much doubt that a lot of the people in these groups are INFJs. The criteria seems to be "I view myself as a special, wounded person, and I'm going to be terribly precious about everything." Taking offense at things that no normal INFJ or just PERSON should be taking offense at. Discussion of other types always seems to cater to the worst stereotypes. Etc.

    I guess Facebook attracts a lot of silliness, but I wonder if it's also just the fact that too many people of one type - or too many people who believe themselves to be of one type - in one place at the same time is not really a good thing.

    Maybe if I were a type 4 INFJ I'd have more sympathy.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    The Internet attracts a lot of maladapted people like that.

  3. #3
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    I heard some scary stories about more realistic people getting ostracized at infjforum. One INFJ was even called INTP (seriously). I mean, you shouldn't bully a human being this way.
    I think this is just lack of maturity. While unhealthy INFJs tend to take offense by meaningless stuff and make sure it is known, unhealthy INFPs just ignore and go depressive.
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    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
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  4. #4
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I don't know if it's the INFJ part, or the Facebook part, or both...but seriously, they just make me want to run screaming back to TypeC.

    Some interesting things pop up, but I very much doubt that a lot of the people in these groups are INFJs. The criteria seems to be "I view myself as a special, wounded person, and I'm going to be terribly precious about everything." Taking offense at things that no normal INFJ or just PERSON should be taking offense at. Discussion of other types always seems to cater to the worst stereotypes. Etc.

    I guess Facebook attracts a lot of silliness, but I wonder if it's also just the fact that too many people of one type - or too many people who believe themselves to be of one type - in one place at the same time is not really a good thing.

    Maybe if I were a type 4 INFJ I'd have more sympathy.
    The INFJ forum has this effect on me too. But yeah, the fb group is kind of baffling and the 'similarities' they discuss really seem far more specific to special snowflake syndrome than INFJness per se. I don't have a problem with people getting together and chanting "we're so special" at each other- each to his own- but there is something mildly annoying to me about the fact that they're mistaking it for INFJness.
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  5. #5
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    I don't blame you, SilkRoad. I haven't been to INFJs Forum, but I have heard of similar experiences there, Z. But thats not the only place you see this kind of thing. It all reminds me of something I came across:


    This is what we call ‘special snowflake’ syndrome, in which the subject believes that because she occupies a subculture mildly different to the mainstream, she is inherently better, and above them. The subject will never state that she is better, but it is implied, as is the belief that she is rare in her qualities, despite, in reality, being an only slightly less common cliche. Subjects suffering from this syndrome have been known to make statements such as “I’m the girl who’d rather stay home reading Harry Potter than get drunk and get ‘sweet hooks’ “, and will frequently act as if she is under tremendous pressure to act like a ‘typical girl,’ not realising that ‘typical girls’ are a myth, and those she looks down upon are not what they seem. <source>
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  6. #6
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    To be honest, I visited INFJ forum a few times and decided not to join them.

    One of the biggest reasons is the forum layout.


    I didn't know there's a FB fans page but thought it's really silly to let all of your network to know that your personality type, especially to those who are cynical about it.

  7. #7
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    I don't blame you, SilkRoad. I haven't been to INFJs Forum, but I have heard of similar experiences there, Z. But thats not the only place you see this kind of thing. It all reminds me of something I came across:


    This is what we call ‘special snowflake’ syndrome, in which the subject believes that because she occupies a subculture mildly different to the mainstream, she is inherently better, and above them. The subject will never state that she is better, but it is implied, as is the belief that she is rare in her qualities, despite, in reality, being an only slightly less common cliche. Subjects suffering from this syndrome have been known to make statements such as “I’m the girl who’d rather stay home reading Harry Potter than get drunk and get ‘sweet hooks’ “, and will frequently act as if she is under tremendous pressure to act like a ‘typical girl,’ not realising that ‘typical girls’ are a myth, and those she looks down upon are not what they seem.
    Ha!
    This also reminds me of how people create these false dichotomies, which often amount to "me vs other", and it involves linking personal qualities to unrelated & rather superficial external markers. Along the lines of the above, it can be an attitude of: "I don't wear makeup. I am not shallow. Girls who wear makeup are shallow! I am not one of them."

    I think people can do that with types too. It goes into elitist territory very quickly (and delusional, for that matter).

    It's basically creating an identity in terms of being outside a group (which is how many countercultures form). It seems like a phobic 6 trait almost... or maybe an so instinct. It's the need to define oneself outside some perceived social norm so as to not be dominated by it.
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  8. #8
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Ha!
    This also reminds me of how people create these false dichotomies, which often amount to "me vs other", and it involves linking personal qualities to unrelated & rather superficial external markers. Along the lines of the above, it can be an attitude of: "I don't wear makeup. I am not shallow. Girls who wear makeup are shallow! I am not one of them."

    I think people can do that with types too. It goes into elitist territory very quickly (and delusional, for that matter).

    It's basically creating an identity in terms of being outside a group (which is how many countercultures form). It seems like a phobic 6 trait almost... or maybe an so instinct. It's the need to define oneself outside some perceived social norm so as to not be dominated by it.
    I agree with @Vasilisa's post and most of what you said... EXCEPT the phobic 6 part. Just had to mention that. Phobic 6s are usually very keen to find somewhere to belong/feel secure, not necessarily within the mainstream, but not particularly outside of it either. That's my understanding anyway.

    I can't say that the "specialness" aspect of a type like INFJ has ever really had a big appeal for me. I mean, realising I was INFJ did help me to understand in part why I've tended to feel different for much of my life. But I felt that way more when I was younger. These days it's more that I realise I'm always going to see things somewhat different from most/a lot of people, but I would rather look for the common ground.

    So, people who go on and on about how different and special and broken they are, and how this is the number one thing that makes them INFJ - that just makes me seriously impatient.
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  9. #9
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I can't say that the "specialness" aspect of a type like INFJ has ever really had a big appeal for me. I mean, realising I was INFJ did help me to understand in part why I've tended to feel different for much of my life. But I felt that way more when I was younger. These days it's more that I realise I'm always going to see things somewhat different from most/a lot of people, but I would rather look for the common ground.
    +1

    I've always wonder why many INFJs try to feel strongly related to the whole 'psychic' experience and the new-age spirituality. Honestly, I think this doesn't necessary need to frame the whole aura of INFJ as I've seen many types can be very new-ageish.

    I think many INFJ often confused themselves as being "different" with the inability to communicate effectively. I learned this because for INFJ, I believe there are many things going in our heads so we need time to prioritize to deliver our message.

    So, people who go on and on about how different and special and broken they are, and how this is the number one thing that makes them INFJ - that just makes me seriously impatient.
    I would say that's an indication that they're at unhealthy stage. And yes, that can be overbearing for others as they might not be able to them at all. Excessive Ni-Fe in an unhealthy direction can be overwhelmingly burden to people.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    It's basically creating an identity in terms of being outside a group (which is how many countercultures form). It seems like a phobic 6 trait almost... or maybe an so instinct. It's the need to define oneself outside some perceived social norm so as to not be dominated by it.
    Hey, now! Don't So-dom Fours do the same thing - identifying themselves as "outcasts" and "different from others"?
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