User Tag List

Results 1 to 5 of 5

  1. #1
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    394

    Question INFPs: Questioning Your Feelings?

    I constantly do this.

    On some occasions I feel the fluttering of a feeling; then, I immediately question it. It's as if I feel something, identify that I have felt something, and then begin to question exactly what that is. This is extremely frustrating because it means I cannot simply "know", I am always obliged to indulge myself in exhaustive analysis.

    An example might be feeling a bit jealous. Then, I would question myself: "Are you feeling jealous?" Then, "Why are you feeling jealous? What could your jealousy mean?" Cue an intensive "interior combing" of myself, my attitudes, what it all could mean. Invariably, I find something "bad" within myself, or merely that the feeling itself pertains to something bad.

    Even worse, I start to feel bad because the feeling may, at some unspecified point in the future, make me act or feel as if I am behaving less than ideally. This could be some odd line of thinking, such as "If I am in the company of someone attractive, that might incline me towards being attracted to them, which may lead to some sort of affair, which would make me feel awful and would mean I was dishonest."

    Is there any way to counteract this feeling. It's silly and I've been told as much by many of my friends. They are quite right, but I find it difficult to evade this odd sense of guilt, at times.

    This may be a 4w5 thing...
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  2. #2
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 so/sp
    Posts
    2,912

    Default

    Hmm, I not sure if I totally understand what you're getting at. I was inclined to say that I don't relate to this as I don't really have trouble understanding my feelings. Is it possible you a 5w4 perhaps instead? A 5 would need to analyse things so intently and may have particularly difficulty with feelings.

    I had a think about it and re-read what you said. This stood out to me:
    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    This could be some odd line of thinking, such as "If I am in the company of someone attractive, that might incline me towards being attracted to them, which may lead to some sort of affair, which would make me feel awful and would mean I was dishonest."
    I do have the odd moments of thinking like this. Its sort of like this fear of what I might do in a moment of weakness or disinhibition. It's strange because sometimes I have such a strong sense that my self-possession is rather precarious and that under the right circumstances I might do something crazy or highly immoral. I suppose it's partly a fear of losing self-control and/or my self-awareness. It's also probably a fear that my hidden feelings, my 'true' nature, and what I'm capable of, will someday come out and everyone will think I'm terrible person.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  3. #3
    Charting a course
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,638

    Default

    I do when they seem to appear out of nowhere.

    I also question when they aren't in line with what I know to be true. And sometimes when they are exceptionally strong, or a mixture of more than one. I have to separate them out and examine why they are mixed.

    It's not something I do naturally. I've had to learn to do it to keep from making mistakes in the past.

  4. #4
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    631

    Default

    Generally I know what I'm feeling in depth and complexity, like chef tasting soup...knowing what ingredients are there.

    I also have an objective view, where I observe the rising and falling of emotions, and this can be like watching the weather.

    Probably in my late teens, I would be like flotsam upon a vast sea of turbulent emotion. Upon observing things, I'd have attacks of depression or anger.

    Now, hundreds of pages later and after dozens of therapists, treatments, and various readings, I understand much better what my cycles are and why I feel what I feel when. I mean I somewhat understood it, but I didn't know how to gain traction, or put my ship in order, or rise above it to give direction on the sea.

    Now, understanding it doesn't prevent emotion from occurring, but I'm not "the victim." I can even somewhat laugh at the neurotic tragedy (at least eventually). I mean, how ridiculous to feel morbid about anything that happens in the forum for example?

    I don't completely understand your objection from idealism. You feel what you feel. I'd say the goal is to understand it, and nonjudgementally. Sure, if guilt is there, then feel that too, but just try to understand it.

    I'll give you an example. I worked with retarded adults, which was the only job I was ever fired from. How? I went out with some girl, and she was a manager of it. So then I started working there, pushing people in wheel chairs, brushing teeth, making people's food. Oh, mercy, I sucked. Half the time I felt like I was going to become a saint.

    But the real kicker is that basically I realized...pushing a retarded person in a wheel chair was basically...sort of...like me walking a dog in the park to meet chicks. It was morally reprehensible. Sure, I had some good interactions with everyone there, probably, but mostly it was a mess.

    So next time you are analyzing yourself, perhaps you can take comfort and say to yourself, "Well, at least I'm not as bad as BAJ has been in his life."

    I think I'm at a point now where I can face just about any emotion or context. I don't always want to, but I can walk up to shame and guilt, and sort of shake their crusty hand. "Well, old friend, we've been together a long time. Haven't we?" I was born into a climate of perpetual shame and guilt; it is like my atmosphere. I realize if it is not there, I strive to create it somehow. Yet, I embrace myself embracing this process and tracing it to it's roots and back again.

    I stir it into my soul to foment creativity.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    394

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Its sort of like this fear of what I might do in a moment of weakness or disinhibition. It's strange because sometimes I have such a strong sense that my self-possession is rather precarious and that under the right circumstances I might do something crazy or highly immoral. I suppose it's partly a fear of losing self-control and/or my self-awareness. It's also probably a fear that my hidden feelings, my 'true' nature, and what I'm capable of, will someday come out and everyone will think I'm terrible person.
    Yes, this is more the thrust of my OP. The problem is that the thought seems pernicious to me, whereas I think other people be able to write it off as having no real weight. But I begin to worry that, in even thinking of such a thing, my integrity is somehow compromised. Then I begin to feel guilty even though I've actually done nothing at all.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFP betrayed your trust?
    By ntgirl in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 11-25-2010, 03:52 PM
  2. [INFP] INFPs and gut feelings
    By TheStarchDefenders in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 11-02-2010, 06:21 PM
  3. [INFP] INFP's & Overwhelming feelings in public
    By Wiley45 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-16-2009, 10:21 PM
  4. [INFP] INFP question?
    By Ypsilon in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-08-2008, 11:52 AM
  5. [INFP] INFPs, Do You Feel Workaday Norms Interfere with Flow?
    By SquirrelTao in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 06-24-2008, 03:29 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO