What's this 'distance' business? Let me help.
You walk up to that mutha, you lick the side of their face nice n slow, and say "I got this bad bad fever, Johnny HotPants, and Imma break your hip". Then he/she is your trophy troll doll, for rilla. You store them in your panty drawz. You feeds 'em on candy corns and luv, and when they give you lip, you say, "Both lips, dammit! Gator don't suffah no fools!"