So a recent topic of discussion in this thread
Started talking about personality types and issues with commitment.
I'm not saying there aren't advantages to being an ENFP. My "issue" I suppose, is that I don't see how constantly changing priorities is a good thing in any relationship.
The ENFP's I know are flighty, and can be down right flaky. I think the term "free spirit" applies. I know two ENFP's and they fall in and out of relationships very easily, constantly going from extremes; "I don't need anyone, I'm independent" to "I don't know how I'd live without him/her" - "I would never even consider doing that" to "well, things have changed"
I would suggest that they're just immature/unhealthy, but they're both relatively stable in most other regards without serious character flaws. They just suffer from a lack of ability to stick to promises made, and they often don't mean what they say.
So I'm rather skeptical of the ENFP's in my life now, and I do hold them at arms length. Which is hard for me, because they DO bring out a side of me that usually stays relatively dormant, and I genuinely DO *like* who I am around them. I want so badly to trust them and allow them into the group of people I care about, but I can't shake the feeling that if I do, it'll end badly. It's hard for me to see "moving goalposts" in any relationship as a good thing. And it's difficult for me to even consider being close to someone whose word seems to be "wishy-washy"
(1) When CAN I take what an ENFP says seriously? (When could I take a promise from an ENFP to the bank, so to speak)
(2) What does this preference for "constant reassessment" and "moving goalposts" mean for serious commitments like marriage?
(3) Is it possible for ENFP's to be happy in a long term relationship?
And don't get me wrong! I love ENFP's! In some ways, ENFP's *get* me better than other types, and just being around them is always fun.
I've just had some bad experiences that have made/are making me highly distrustful. I suppose I want to know if that's just how the cookie crumbles..
And yes, before incoming "INFJ's are rigid and inflexible" - I know we can be. I often am. But some promises made are SUPPOSED to be rigid and inflexible. If something is important, it *has* to be stable. Whether that be the economy, a bridge, a safety net, or a relationship (romantic or otherwise).