User Tag List

First 2345614 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 220

  1. #31
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I don't find INFJs to be great, compassionate listeners who offer deep insight & advice, not with me; this is because I am the one listening to them. I've called the INFP the counselor to the Counselor, because that is the role I consistently find myself in with them. They certainly will listen to me, and they can say comforting things, but more often than not they are the ones getting emotional with me. I do see them in their counselor role with others, but somehow the INFP Empath trumps them in regards to who ends up being the more emotionally supportive partner/friend.
    That.

    I don't find them hard to read or understand, not any more than the next person. A part of me thinks they resent that I read them rather well; they're not used to it & maybe they like feeling mysterious to others. I think they feel some relief too though. Everyone wants to be known, even if that leaves them vulnerable. I think this is why I don't find them as "impressive" as others do; they're just human to me.
    And that.

    I can't really tell them what I see or they shy away, feeling so exposed, and I don't want them to, I want to get closer.

    I have one close female INFJ friend, and we have a grand time together though.

    Will expand on this when my shoulder is less sore ... I would like to add to the topic, so this post will serve as my reminder.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #32
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,425

    Default

    The ESTJ perspective (or at least, the introspective female ESTJ perspective):

    I like INFJs a lot, for the most part. I'm drawn to them because they're nice and considerate people, we tend to share values (e.g. civility, loyalty, justice), and I like their sense of humor and their almost aggressive uniqueness. ("Yes, I am wearing a hat with alien eyeballs on it to school. Got a problem??") Also, for some reason, I tend to be pretty quick to draw out the talkative side of INFJs -- to the point that my first impression of them is that they're extroverts! <-- I mention this because I know a lot of people who don't know a lot of INFJs because they have a hard time getting to know them, but for whatever reason that has never been a problem for me.

    I also like that we balance each other out -- in many ways, but the most important way is that we are really good at solving each other's problems. If the ESTJ wants to get someone to do something but can't figure out how to say it without sounding like a jerk, the INFJ will know. If the INFJ is bogged down in a huge mess of details and is too overwhelmed to know how to even begin to sort through them, the ESTJ can calm them down and talk them through it. (Actually, from my experience, ESTJs and INFJs are good at calming each other down, in general.)

    The only times I get really annoyed with them are when they are passive-aggressive, overly conflict avoidant, or closed-minded. People complain about SJs being hard to reason with, but the truth is that all you need to do is give them enough evidence, and then they'll believe anything you say. That method does not work with INFJs, which frustrates me to no end. I have yet to figure out a way to win an argument with an INFJ.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #33
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I can't really tell them what I see or they shy away, feeling so exposed, and I don't want them to, I want to get closer.
    I think I feel a bit uncertain with FPs and so have withdrawn a bit. There is some truth to the above, I think. But I've found when I've vented to FP friends (and I have, though probably more to xxFJ/IxxJ friends as I have more and I tend to find their advice more helpful) that it's sort of a...strange combination between them understanding me extremely well in some respects, so that perhaps I can end up feeling kind of exposed as described, but also really getting the wrong end of the stick with me in other areas and jumping to conclusions which don't have much bearing on reality, and then I feel judged. So the overall feeling is perhaps that I'd rather not open up too much, because it can be uncomfortable either way.

    It's not that I don't like FPs, please don't think that, or that I'm having a go at you guys. It's hard for me to explain it properly but in the experiences I've had I really do feel like it's partly uncanny x-ray vision in some areas, and real "um...do you really know me if you can seriously think that?" in other areas. A bit unsettling overall, I guess. Perhaps I feel a bit uncertain with FPs because I tend to think that INFPs and INFJs should be quite similar in a lot of respects. And perhaps they are. But, I think, much less so than I used to imagine. Having a better understanding of function theory probably clarifies that for me.

    I think there is a pretty big gulf between Fe and Fi, perhaps that is the problem. In worst-case scenarios, I tend to find FPs inconsistent and unreliable, and don't understand their internal logic/moral code; while I think they find me, again in worst-case scenarios, rigid and obsessive and unforgiving and overly formal.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  4. #34
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I think I feel a bit uncertain with FPs and so have withdrawn a bit. There is some truth to the above, I think. But I've found when I've vented to FP friends (and I have, though probably more to xxFJ/IxxJ friends as I have more and I tend to find their advice more helpful) that it's sort of a...strange combination between them understanding me extremely well in some respects, so that perhaps I can end up feeling kind of exposed as described, but also really getting the wrong end of the stick with me in other areas and jumping to conclusions which don't have much bearing on reality, and then I feel judged. So the overall feeling is perhaps that I'd rather not open up too much, because it can be uncomfortable either way.

    It's not that I don't like FPs, please don't think that, or that I'm having a go at you guys. It's hard for me to explain it properly but in the experiences I've had I really do feel like it's partly uncanny x-ray vision in some areas, and real "um...do you really know me if you can seriously think that?" in other areas. A bit unsettling overall, I guess. Perhaps I feel a bit uncertain with FPs because I tend to think that INFPs and INFJs should be quite similar in a lot of respects. And perhaps they are. But, I think, much less so than I used to imagine. Having a better understanding of function theory probably clarifies that for me.

    I think there is a pretty big gulf between Fe and Fi, perhaps that is the problem. In worst-case scenarios, I tend to find FPs inconsistent and unreliable, and don't understand their internal logic/moral code; while I think they find me, again in worst-case scenarios, rigid and obsessive and unforgiving and overly formal.
    I agree with the bolded, and it's true in reverse.

    I think that, simply by virtue of being NFs & INxx types, INFJs & INFPs will understand each other exceptionally well, but as a result, they may take it for granted to the point where they rather unfairly expect the other to grasp them in all areas & instances. I think I have carried that expectation with some INFJs & I feel they have with me, and yet, it's not something I'd expect of others. Instead of focusing on how much they DO get me more than other people, I allow instances of miscommunication to stand out in my head. Really, no one will ever understand you 100% of time, even your own MBTI type. The disappointment may not be so great if we don't get caught up in the initial appearance of similarity & understanding and actually allow the other person to be human.

    Believe it or not, one of my major problems with FJs is inconsistency also (because I feel very consistent!). I think the most recent Fe/Fi thread shed light on how FPs can see FJs as changing feelings according to external context, and when you add a Ni perspective shift in there, it can leave me feeling that NFJs are "fickle". I imagine how FPs can seem inconsistent also, but it's in a different way; in my case, people get shook up when I switch from easy-going to assertive because now it's a "Fi issue" whereas before I was showing flexible Ne. They find my feelings unpredictable, but to me they are extremely consistent internally. My family finds me pretty predictable in some ways because they've known me long enough to have a greater understanding of what I do/don't care about.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #35
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Synth View Post
    Im pretty sure a thread like this has already been created, but Im not going to resurrect an old thread to satiate my growing curiosity. I have here, before me, a website filled with individuals knowledgeable in the area of psychology and the MBTI, who also post behavior patterns as a side thought.

    I want to know from personal standpoints from various other types, how an INFJ in personal and professional lives are viewed as well as views from those who can only speculate given lack of interaction with an actual INFJ. Id also like to encourage other INFJs on this site to chime in and tell me how you view someone of "like type" so to speak.
    people experience me (based on my perception obviously) as:

    -weird
    -cautiously
    -warmly



    Ive done a lot of reading on here and lurked on various boards trying to get a rounded view, but a lot of focus tends to be on types *other* than INFJ.

    I also would like to ask that feelings and opinions based on INFJ be both from a typology stand point and from a personal one, if any kind of difference exists to anyone on that.

    Looking forward to responses!
    I don't know about other infjs', but i don't mince words very often. Maybe it's my age (42)...but I've been like this a while. I'm not drama, but I'm intense. So my friends call me intense, then they think I'm weird, then finally, they appreciate my attentiveness. Professionally they seem to respect me a lot, but cautiously or from afar, as if they aren't quite sure what they will get.....I'm quite domineering in my personality though and I'm not sure that is addressed very well by MBTI or enneagram...so that might be where the respect comes from. I use Fe well, but Fi is getting strong too. I procrastinate but get the job done. I think my biggest fault is giving people too many benefits of the doubt and thinking humanity is more noble than it is. Like Pollyanna. But that seems to work well in dealing with clients. So.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  6. #36
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I think I feel a bit uncertain with FPs and so have withdrawn a bit. There is some truth to the above, I think. But I've found when I've vented to FP friends (and I have, though probably more to xxFJ/IxxJ friends as I have more and I tend to find their advice more helpful) that it's sort of a...strange combination between them understanding me extremely well in some respects, so that perhaps I can end up feeling kind of exposed as described, but also really getting the wrong end of the stick with me in other areas and jumping to conclusions which don't have much bearing on reality, and then I feel judged. So the overall feeling is perhaps that I'd rather not open up too much, because it can be uncomfortable either way.

    It's not that I don't like FPs, please don't think that, or that I'm having a go at you guys. It's hard for me to explain it properly but in the experiences I've had I really do feel like it's partly uncanny x-ray vision in some areas, and real "um...do you really know me if you can seriously think that?" in other areas. A bit unsettling overall, I guess. Perhaps I feel a bit uncertain with FPs because I tend to think that INFPs and INFJs should be quite similar in a lot of respects. And perhaps they are. But, I think, much less so than I used to imagine. Having a better understanding of function theory probably clarifies that for me.

    I think there is a pretty big gulf between Fe and Fi, perhaps that is the problem. In worst-case scenarios, I tend to find FPs inconsistent and unreliable, and don't understand their internal logic/moral code; while I think they find me, again in worst-case scenarios, rigid and obsessive and unforgiving and overly formal.
    If you look at it cognitively, we are sort of "inside out" of each other. I used to think, oh! one letter off, and they are an NF... they must be so similar to me! And then conflicts would arise. ^_^

    I actually just spent the night inside of an NFJ vortex... Me (INFP), INFJ 1 (from work), INFJ 2 (from work), INFJ 2's INFJ husband, and their ENFJ 9 year old daughter. (I know I will sound crazy to type her when she is 9, but if she isn't an ENFJ, I will eat my hat. She oozes Fe and is constantly making these incredibly bizarre comments about the world that she will explain her "logic" on, and they make perfect sense. Like tonight she talked about why she decided to draw a brain on this clay heart she has in her room. Her reasoning was that if you truly love then you will hate war and so if you let yourself be ruled by love then your heart's brain is bigger than your head's brain and so you need to show that your heart has a brain too.)

    It was kind of an amazing night of NF-ness... and to see 3 different flavors of INFJs in one room. I think if her ENFJ son had been home from college the world might have actually ended in that moment.

    So in the future when the world ends, I apologize in advance.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    MBTI
    IsFJ
    Posts
    3,088

    Default

    If I may ask a question... Do INFPs get riled up when people "figure them out" as well? Or do they tend to feel relieved?

  8. #38
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    394

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    If I may ask a question... Do INFPs get riled up when people "figure them out" as well? Or do they tend to feel relieved?
    I've got a lot of respect for people that genuinely work out my modus operandi. I quite like it, because that means that said person recognises the good and bad points about me. Subsequently, that person gets all the "gifts" of my personality beause they've "passed the test".

    What I don't like is people that say "you're just X" or "all you care about is X". This is reductive and always wrong.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Wanderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    160

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Believe it or not, one of my major problems with FJs is inconsistency also (because I feel very consistent!). I think the most recent Fe/Fi thread shed light on how FPs can see FJs as changing feelings according to external context, and when you add a Ni perspective shift in there, it can leave me feeling that NFJs are "fickle". I imagine how FPs can seem inconsistent also, but it's in a different way; in my case, people get shook up when I switch from easy-going to assertive because now it's a "Fi issue" whereas before I was showing flexible Ne. They find my feelings unpredictable, but to me they are extremely consistent internally. My family finds me pretty predictable in some ways because they've known me long enough to have a greater understanding of what I do/don't care about.
    I've been called many things, and God knows I have many faults, but being "fickle" is probably the LAST one on that list. T'was also the same for the only other INFJ I've ever known in real life. This seems completely out of character/un-INFJ to me.

  10. #40
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    I've got a lot of respect for people that genuinely work out my modus operandi. I quite like it, because that means that said person recognises the good and bad points about me. Subsequently, that person gets all the "gifts" of my personality beause they've "passed the test".

    What I don't like is people that say "you're just X" or "all you care about is X". This is reductive and always wrong.
    Agreed. I like when someone truly figures me out, but not when they simply sum me up in a dismissive & usually inaccurate manner.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wanderer View Post
    I've been called many things, and God knows I have many faults, but being "fickle" is probably the LAST one on that list. T'was also the same for the only other INFJ I've ever known in real life. This seems completely out of character/un-INFJ to me.
    Well, I've never specifically used the word "fickle" with an INFJ (because it's like walking on eggshells concerning them & criticism), but I've certainly thought it about them. I can't say they were fickle internally, but their behavior in certain instances appeared that way to me; I can see why they'd think they are consistent.

    FYI, this NFP has NEVER been called fickle either, nor inconsistent, nor unreliable, so it's probably a matter of perspective.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 21
    Last Post: 07-19-2017, 05:54 AM
  2. What makes you distinct from the rest of your type?
    By Mane in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 10-03-2014, 11:25 AM
  3. INTJ's natural skill. I wonder, what are the natural skills of other types?
    By Chimerical in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-13-2010, 04:03 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Are you different from the people of your same type?
    By yenom in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 03-13-2009, 11:48 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO