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  1. #51
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Well, in my case, the people "crowding" aren't always emotionally toxic people. I'm just easily crowded. So technically I'm the emotionally toxic one- I normally accept them to come back.
    in that case, we're talking about different things. in your case, yes that seems the prudent thing to do. in the case I was talking about, I don't feel any remorse in shedding an emotionally toxic relationship
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  2. #52
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    do you want to do anything to disincentivize further emotional crowding?
    What do you mean?

  3. #53
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    What do you mean?
    I mean, do you want to do anything to discouraging this behavior in the future?
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  4. #54
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I mean, do you want to do anything to discouraging this behavior in the future?
    I believe I cannot change other person's behavior, I can change only my behavior. No, I wouldn't probably do anything to discourage the behavior but maybe try to give a hint "in between the lines" that they shouldn't do that. But I'm not too keen on telling anybody how to behave. I expect people to behave well, lol, but I know it's not working, and people behave "badly" at times (myself included).

  5. #55
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    I believe I cannot change other person's behavior, I can change only my behavior. No, I wouldn't probably do anything to discourage the behavior but maybe try to give a hint "in between the lines" that they shouldn't do that. But I'm not too keen on telling anybody how to behave. I expect people to behave well, lol, but I know it's not working, and people behave "badly" at times (myself included).
    I see well, if you ever do decide to be more assertive with it, it works really well
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  6. #56
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    I believe I cannot change other person's behavior, I can change only my behavior. No, I wouldn't probably do anything to discourage the behavior but maybe try to give a hint "in between the lines" that they shouldn't do that. But I'm not too keen on telling anybody how to behave. I expect people to behave well, lol, but I know it's not working, and people behave "badly" at times (myself included).
    lol, i can totally relate to this. i have a personal philosophy of "people should govern themselves." but my cynical inner INTJ says "oh, saturned, you know they cannot so they must be led by those who can."

  7. #57
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    lol, i can totally relate to this. i have a personal philosophy of "people should govern themselves.
    I believe this too, as long as they're not infringing upon the rights of others. however, if someone infringes upon my rights, I will use as much force as needed to take my rights back. I don't ask for my rights, I take them and personal emotional space is definitely a right
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  8. #58
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I believe this too, as long as they're not infringing upon the rights of others. however, if someone infringes upon my rights, I will use as much force as needed to take my rights back. I don't ask for my rights, I take them and personal emotional space is definitely a right
    I absolutely agree with you on this. It's funny, because in the daily grind of interactions it never seems this cut and dry, but in the big-big picture, it totally is.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #59
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I absolutely agree with you on this. It's funny, because in the daily grind of interactions it never seems this cut and dry, but in the big-big picture, it totally is.
    developed Te helps me here. clearly defined boundaries and communication are an absolute must for the healthy of my psyche. I was a hot little fireball until I learned to detach, objectively define boundaries and communicate these boundaries to others.
    I think that is the main reason why INFPs tend towards pacifism and ENFPs towards advocacy and protest. Fi and Si deal in absolutes; Ne and Te deal in distinctions, situational adaptability and problem solving
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  10. #60
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I see well, if you ever do decide to be more assertive with it, it works really well
    Yes, , I should be more assertive, but as long as I can avoid being one, I will...

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    lol, i can totally relate to this. i have a personal philosophy of "people should govern themselves." but my cynical inner INTJ says "oh, saturned, you know they cannot so they must be led by those who can."
    Yes, you are right. I don't have the inner INTJ to speak reason to me, maybe I should try to find one (inside of my own mind)

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