For a more concrete view, I just leave. I pull up the drawbridge of my castle.
People do one thing, and I feel bad. People do another, and I feel good. And being some sort of praise starved INFP_4, I get sucked into this. I allow myself to feel really good or really bad about what other people's response to my existence.
It's like a control panel with buttons, so what I'm doing is putting security codes on everything or putting sheild so that people have less and less influence on my buttons.
This may be tangential to what you are asking, Saturn'd. Also, it may not be healthy.
If nobody can push any buttons or if the drawbridge is totally closed, then won't I be lonely or die? Must'nt I remain vunerable and put some squishy part out there? Can someone be whole without any umbilicals to others?
I'm not sure where I will be, but I'm cutting off those umbilicals, pulling up the drawbridges, etc. I own my emotions, and my response to the world, and no one else is given government there.
There is an open question about how narcissitic this is, and whether it is healthy, but I feel I can't allow myself to be sucked in any longer. I don't want to invest myself so much in basing my feelings on what other people do. I trim myself back in my expectations.
I guess I'm speaking more universally than your specific situation. However, I think it's applicable. It involves turning the question back on myself rather than expecting others to change. I think that I am responsible for how much I invest myself in what I expect others to do.
Further, I'm describing a castle. I think you are saying that people are already inside. I can scarcly imagine that happening to me, but if it did, I'd probably load them into the catapult, and shoot them to the other side of the forest.