funkadelik
good hair
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- Jan 10, 2011
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Maybe I'm missing something, but if the majority of people aren't drinking then won't an open bar not cost them a whole lot/there won't be many drunk people to monitor?
I think the general idea is that wedding guests are ... guests. You don't asks guests to pay for what you serve them.
But just because you don't have a lot of money doesn't mean you can't have guests, so instead of expensive food, you have chili and cornbread, or a pizza party.
Would it be too radical just not to offer alcohol? If you had a morning wedding, would people expect it? (I'm not that up on wedding etiquette.)
If they are not drinkers due to a value/principle rather than merely their own personal habits, they are not going to feel that good about personally funding any alcohol. They are probably already making a big concession to have a bar (in an attempt to respect the other side of the family). I don't think the issue is being cheap or afraid of people overdrinking, so much as not considering alcohol in the same category as just serving a kind of food or beverage that they personally don't care for.
yes, you seem like a very rude person. I can see why your mother doesn't like you and wont pay for your alcohol.
yes, you seem like a very rude person. I can see why your mother doesn't like you and wont pay for your alcohol.
Thanks for your response. Sometimes she does come around, whether it's days later or hours later. And she ends up making me feel bad because she'll tell me "Oh I didn't know you felt that way. I feel terrible. I just want the best for you. I am trying my hardest"...but it's like guilt tripping.
I wish I could have her less involved but since she is paying for it, she deserves a right to be involved. But it's any idea i throw at her, she will either laugh in my face or cry her eyes out because it's distasteful and rude in her eyes. (Like when she thought I was walking down the isle to Here Comes the Bride, I told her I wanted a more contemporary song---she started to cry her eyes out, saying that how could her daughter not walk down the isle to Here Comes the Bride!!!)
I try not to get worked up, but it's annoying when she starts to voice her opinion to everyone else "Can you believe my daughter's in-laws WONT PAY FOR ALCOHOL?!" she'll announce this to all of her friends and my family and her and my ESFJ grandmother just team up against me and try and make me feel awful. They don't let it go. And not just with the bar stuff, with Everything about the wedding... bllaaahhhh
Lol. Read. It's not about my mom not paying for alcohol
Why not just do a "Bring your own beer" thing? That's what my brother did at his wedding and it was a non-issue. The fancy drink was sparkling juice.
Just put your foot down gently. Tell her you appreciate her, love her, and that you know she only has the best for you in mind. But it's your special day, not hers.
If they are not drinkers due to a value/principle rather than merely their own personal habits, they are not going to feel that good about personally funding any alcohol. They are probably already making a big concession to have a bar (in an attempt to respect the other side of the family). I don't think the issue is being cheap or afraid of people overdrinking, so much as not considering alcohol in the same category as just serving a kind of food or beverage that they personally don't care for.
Maybe I'm missing something, but if the majority of people aren't drinking then won't an open bar not cost them a whole lot/there won't be many drunk people to monitor?
Usually the way it works with open bar is that you pay a per guest fee. So if less than half of the guests are going to drink, the per guest fee will be double what it should be. That would mean the people footing the bill would be paying double the fee for something they don't even feel comfortable with in the first place.
In this situation, I think it's completely fair to not have an open bar.
Could you compromise by offering a bottle of wine on each table? I've also been to weddings and parties where the bar was only open for a limited time, like an hour, so that's another possible compromise.
Or, depending on the venue, you can get your own liquor license and bring your own stash of alcohol for the guests.