• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[MBTI General] xNFPs, goals and focus

Bamboozle

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
From reading around, a lot of you seem to have trouble staying focused. But I got interested in xNFPs because some of them seemed really driven in a very specific way. So, for those of you who are focused…how do you do it? What's the thinking behind it? How do you approach it? How do you keep at something even if the bit you're up to might be a bit boring :p?

I get the sense that it's something to do with Fi —*Fi keeping an eye on the bigger picture of fulfillment and satisfaction. Am I right?

Anecdotes are more than welcome, by the way. It all feeds my Ti-Ne.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
It comes down to

- How much I actually care about something. This is sort of self-explanatory....

- How "official" my commitment is & if there are expectations riding on me....the promises I break the most are the ones I make only to myself, because I'm not good at holding myself accountable unless it's a moral issue (in which case, I have oodles of self-control). For this reason, external expectations from others & deadlines keep me motivated. I need REAL consequences, but ones which still allow flexibility (see below). But seriously....DEADLINES!!!!

- A moral issue I am not willing to compromise on. Wanting to do the right thing keeps me motivated.

- How close I am to finishing it. I'm actually less likely to abandon something if I feel just on the verge of completion because then I realize I can actually do it; it's not just an "idea" anymore. I'm more likely to abandon it in the early stages if it's not moving along fast enough; I suppose I move onto other ideas. This means I reach goals best when I start them in a burst of energy and can accomplish enough in that time to keep me motivated to finish once some of the interest/energy wanes.

- Variety & flexibility. If working towards a goal becomes too repetitive, tedious & mundane, then I'm more likely to quit. I can't do the same thing in the same way every time. I need to feel I am constantly exploring uncharted territory in some way, even if it's in the small nuances. This is because I am motivated by being able to be creative, so once I've maxed out different ways to do something, then I lose steam. I don't like to feel like a machine churning stuff out. If I feel confined then I tend to bail also. I need to feel free to meet the goal in my way, and so too much structure will de-motivate me.

- Making it fun, or less boring at least. When it comes down to some nitty gritty details I don't care for, then that may be time to blast the music, pull out some snacks, roll my sleeves up metaphorically & just get it over with as painlessly as possible.

- Play! I take a break, goof off, clear my head, and come back rejuvenated with fresh ideas. I'm very much a play-before-work type, but my play time is a huge source of inspiration for me.

I also might add I don't have problem focusing as far as attention span goes. I have a great attention span. I read ridiculously long novels, watch mind-numbingly boring (well, to others) documentaries, easily pay attention through long lectures, etc. "Motivation" is probably a better word.
 

Bamboozle

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
- Play! I take a break, goof off, clear my head, and come back rejuvenated with fresh ideas. I'm very much a play-before-work type, but my play time is a huge source of inspiration for me.

This bit seems particularly interesting. How is play a source of inspiration? How does it rejuvenate you? It…makes you happy? (Haha, look at me exercising my rudimentary understanding of Fi.) It's just that, in contrast, I never actually feel like I can clear my head as such.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This bit seems particularly interesting. How is play a source of inspiration? How does it rejuvenate you? It…makes you happy? (Haha, look at me exercising my rudimentary understanding of Fi.) It's just that, in contrast, I never actually feel like I can clear my head as such.

I thought it was more of a Ne thing. Fi for me is my usual introspective state, which can make me hyper-idealistic to the point of head-banging perfectionist frustration, and then sometimes giving up. "Play" allows me to take a break from that heaviness & interact with my environment a bit. I get outside of my head & get some perspective.
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
I think OA has pretty much covered all the bases :)

If you're familiar with the four quadrant of prioritization (I think it's from Covey's 7 Habits), the top right quadrant is for stuff that is both important and urgent. The key is what is important or not to me. If there is something I feel passionately about, I will work to complete it regardless of how 'useless' or 'wasteful' it may seem to others.

The main problem I have is that while I'm great at setting high-level goals, I'm usually not as great (gross understatement) at the nitty-gritty details. Keeping myself continually motivated to reach the goal is a constant challenge. One solution is of course to set short goals that can be achieved while I'm still in my gung-ho mood. Taking a break in-between also helps as I tend to ruminate and overthink stuff a lot. Remember that being self-aware means seeing both the good and the bad, and optimism can quickly switch to pessimism if some minor stuff doesn't go according to plan. And yes, I also get bored quickly if things become routine and repititive.
 

Bamboozle

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
William K said:
Taking a break in-between also helps as I tend to ruminate and overthink stuff a lot. Remember that being self-aware means seeing both the good and the bad, and optimism can quickly switch to pessimism if some minor stuff doesn't go according to plan.

I think this is what I'm interested in! This might seem kind of silly but what do you mean by self-aware? You probably don't mean that you only work on things when you want to…but does it?

There's this guy I've seen. I think he's an INFP. He's the happiest person I've seen —*but in a very specific way. It's baffling and bemusing to me, mainly because he's so…very casually motivated? He wants to write something? Write a few songs? He'll jot a few things down that he wants to do in the next few months and then he…just does it. It's not even with the intensity and self-discipline that STJs or even NTJs do it; he just wants to do things. I don't even know if he has a problem with procrastination as such because…he just wants to do these things. Does that make any sense to you from an INFP perspective?

I'm just confused because…I'm quite used to the idea of having to plough through things whether you like it or not. But I thought maybe the INFPs would have a better handle on things because of that self-awareness that…as my understanding goes, is part of what Fi is about. Not sure.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
it's because he's writing songs..that's play...fun..it likely relaxes and fulfills him...there's nothing in there to dread...nothing to procrastinate about or put off. it is what he wants to do.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I think this is what I'm interested in! This might seem kind of silly but what do you mean by self-aware? You probably don't mean that you only work on things when you want to…but does it?

Honestly, yes, it does mean that for me. I don't do anything until I want to do it.
However, here is the qualifier: Some values trump others. If a desire to achieve X trumps a desire to not do Y, and Y is required to achieve X, then I will want to do Y by extension.

Example: I hate washing dishes. Never at any moment do I ever want to wash a dish. If I could go the rest of my life & never wash another dish I'd be thrilled. I will sometimes put off doing the dishes until they become petri dishes growing strange plant life in my sink. However, I will at some point decide I do want a clean kitchen, and by extension, that means I do want to wash my dishes. It is an ideal of mine to live in a relatively clean/neat space (for various reasons). So that will trump the fact that I do not want to wash dishes, and so I will wash them & ultimately accomplish something I do want, which is a clean kitchen. This value to have a clean space becomes stronger if I know people are coming over....again, I have that deadline, other people are involved, etc. Now I have the motivation to do something I don't like to do; I now WANT to do it because it's necessary to achieve a larger goal.

There's this guy I've seen. I think he's an INFP. He's the happiest person I've seen —*but in a very specific way. It's baffling and bemusing to me, mainly because he's so…very casually motivated? He wants to write something? Write a few songs? He'll jot a few things down that he wants to do in the next few months and then he…just does it. It's not even with the intensity and self-discipline that STJs or even NTJs do it; he just wants to do things. I don't even know if he has a problem with procrastination as such because…he just wants to do these things. Does that make any sense to you from an INFP perspective?

Yes, because when we really want to do something, then it is not work.
However, I notice ISFPs are a lot more prolific, being more action-oriented. I feel like I mull things over a lot more which sometimes leads to abandoning it before I begin. It's the curse of being future-oriented to get less done right now because you're so busy envisioning the future.
 

Bamboozle

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
[MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION]: Haha, I know what you mean, I suppose. But he makes a living off doing these random things — so there actually is pressure but either he doesn't feel it or he's fine with it.

I suppose what I'm trying to get at is…for example, I'm doing a PhD at the moment. And that's fine. I love it. I'm a Ti-Ne and I get to use those functions in a fulfilling way. Except that I hate my thesis, too. I can hardly bring myself to do it a lot of the time. And yet, in comparison, this INFP doesn't seem to have that conflict. It seems so clear in his mind what he wants and likes to do and that's it. Is that an Fi-self-awareness thing or…?

EDIT:
OrangeAppled said:
Honestly, yes, it does mean that for me. I don't do anything until I want to do it.
However, here is the qualifier: Some values trump others. If a desire to achieve X trumps a desire to not do Y, and Y is required to achieve X, then I will want to do Y by extension.

This and the example was very useful. Thanks!

Logically, it makes sense. It sounds like a matter of re-framing what you don't feel like doing into something that you do…and possibly using self-awareness to steer that re-framing? I don't know if that makes sense.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
^ Yes, yes, you've got it :)
 

Bamboozle

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Okay, then. Thanks for that! You're being very helpful ^^. I've been fascinated by Fi for a while (in some ways, it looks like Ti but with different material to work with, heh).

So…do you find the reframing bit difficult? It feels like quite a laboured, self-conscious, 'you're just fooling yourself' kind of process to me. (And, to judge by some of the INTP threads, it is for them, too.) Or is it just that you're more connected to what you 'really' want…?
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
There is a reason why INFPs have a stereotype of being stubborn. I tend to want to do things in my own terms regardless of outside pressures :D Part of the self-awareness that I mentioned is the fact that I tend to realize why I'm in a rut and what may be required to get out of it. However, being aware of a block is not necessarily the same as being able to overcome it.

The other part is the fact that I tend to introspect a lot. My inner world is far richer than my outer one. I look reserved and calm on the outside, but inside things are always churning and bouncing around. Being an idealist; whenever I'm doing something, what I can/do achieve will almost always not meet with the perfect vision I have in my head. It takes a lot of effort to still push on and do things knowing that you will be "disappointed" in the outcome. It's much harder for me to "Just do it". However, once I do get over the hump, things can get on a serious roll. I recently wrote a 12 page research paper for a conference in 24 hours after dawdling around for weeks deciding whether or not the contents would be "good enough" to be accepted.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm quite in touch with what I really want, so that it's hard to fool myself. If I do try & fool myself, then it doesn't usually work out because I was never really committed. That's often when I bail. If I am trying to convince myself I NEED to do something I don't want to do, then I do my best to connect it to a larger, undeniable need/want (as I explained before). I'm not fooling myself then, I am simply acknowledging & reasoning on what it takes to accomplish what I want in reality. This is certainly Ne coming into play as well (the re-framing, connecting values in the big picture, etc). It's an acceptance or a realization, not a fooling. This is a process that I can get stuck in for some time also; re-evaluating, re-framing, and creating better alternatives wherever possible. Sometimes I hate to come to these conclusions, but they are what keep me functioning in a less than ideal world.

I should add: the other times I lose motivation is when I feel overwhelmed by something. I feel incapable of doing it & so I give up. This is the biggest obstacle to accomplishing a lot of what I want to do. I should add "feeling capable" or "confidence in my abilities" to the first list then.


What [MENTION=7726]William K[/MENTION] mentions is true for me also in that I can get lost in the introspection phase. This is often when I am "procrastinating", as I am negotiating with myself. That deadline will pull you out fast. You have to make a decision NOW. That's why deadlines are pretty vital for me to accomplish stuff. It forces you to decide something is important & then you "just do it" because there is no more time to dawdle.
 

Bamboozle

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
So, when you're procrastinating, you're actually testing whether or not something is important to you? I'm envisaging it as going something like: *click around the internet —*'do I want to do x? Mmm…don't know. Okay, will try again later.' — click around the internet some more…* — Repeat until you decide that you really do or do not want to do something?

See, when I procrastinate, I know that I don't want to do something. I don't necessarily know why. Indeed, I started a few days ago on these forums and subsequently spent hours clicking around because I'm avoiding doing a paper. I'm genuinely interested in these forums, too, so that makes it easier. But I often do things that I wouldn't ordinarily want to do like…watching really inane Youtube videos. (I just add these details in case what is obvious/natural to me is not natural to someone else's thinking).

Also, [MENTION=7726]William K[/MENTION]: You know when you're in a rut? And how to fix it? That's amazing, haha. I only figure that sort of thing out in retrospect — and even then after a lot of frustrated head-banging. But I get your point.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
^ Not quite. I'm negotiating, not testing. I'm saying, "I don't want to do Y, but since it will help me accomplish X, then I should do it". I may propose rewards/consequences to myself. I may reason on why now is better than later, etc. Combine that with a deadline & I'll probably do it. I need that final push for urgency though; no sense of urgency & I'll just get stuck in negotiation, avoidance & "play".

Trust me when I say I can relate to your scenario of goofing off online while I avoid doing something I don't want to do :D.
 

Bamboozle

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Hmm, okay. I think I've got it. Just have to think about it. Thanks a lot for helping with my questions, [MENTION=7726]William K[/MENTION] and [MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] ^^.
 

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
For me, Ne changes it's mind about what it wants to do all the time. I watch a movie or read a book or meet an inspiring person and then all of a sudden my entire perception changes about what I'd like to be doing. (Like a little kid who meets someone from NASA). "I want to be an astronaut!" It's been seen as a problem for me for a long time. But there are a few underlying themes that tend to come back and I can follow through with them. Often times it's a combination of people pushing me along, a little bit of Te, some people-pleasing, and commitments signed on paper that keep me stable. (Signing up for a job, I can become loyal- or a lease- or an educational program, etc.) So those things take up my time, and the changeability then only occurs in things I didn't sign up for. (Hobbies- "I'm going to write a novel! I'm going to learn to play guitar! Now I want to really get into photography! My dog is going to be just like Lassie! I'll train him day and night! And I'm going to travel the world! And today I'm buying a house! And tomorrow I'm starting my own business! I want to learn all about quantum physics this week! I want to travel to Africa and give healthcare! Time to make that video idea that I was talking about at work! ") A lot of times this transfers into staring at walls and daydreaming. Some things I stick to, based on need for some reason or other.
 

pinkgraffiti

New member
Joined
Mar 20, 2011
Messages
1,482
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
748
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
It's very simple (for me): motivation. If I'm motivated, I'm the best. If I'm not, I don't get anything done.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
This bit seems particularly interesting. How is play a source of inspiration? How does it rejuvenate you? It…makes you happy? (Haha, look at me exercising my rudimentary understanding of Fi.) It's just that, in contrast, I never actually feel like I can clear my head as such.

For me, the ideal is when work and play are happening at the same time. Play is valuable because it frees your mind from the constraint of time. If I'm not conscious of time passing, then I feel free, and can focus very well.
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
If I really want to do something, I do it with a lot of focus. If I don’t, it takes tremendous willpower. I tend to make a decision and then want to do it as soon as possible.
 
Top