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  1. #11
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    Okay, then. Thanks for that! You're being very helpful ^^. I've been fascinated by Fi for a while (in some ways, it looks like Ti but with different material to work with, heh).

    So…do you find the reframing bit difficult? It feels like quite a laboured, self-conscious, 'you're just fooling yourself' kind of process to me. (And, to judge by some of the INTP threads, it is for them, too.) Or is it just that you're more connected to what you 'really' want…?

  2. #12
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    There is a reason why INFPs have a stereotype of being stubborn. I tend to want to do things in my own terms regardless of outside pressures Part of the self-awareness that I mentioned is the fact that I tend to realize why I'm in a rut and what may be required to get out of it. However, being aware of a block is not necessarily the same as being able to overcome it.

    The other part is the fact that I tend to introspect a lot. My inner world is far richer than my outer one. I look reserved and calm on the outside, but inside things are always churning and bouncing around. Being an idealist; whenever I'm doing something, what I can/do achieve will almost always not meet with the perfect vision I have in my head. It takes a lot of effort to still push on and do things knowing that you will be "disappointed" in the outcome. It's much harder for me to "Just do it". However, once I do get over the hump, things can get on a serious roll. I recently wrote a 12 page research paper for a conference in 24 hours after dawdling around for weeks deciding whether or not the contents would be "good enough" to be accepted.
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  3. #13
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I'm quite in touch with what I really want, so that it's hard to fool myself. If I do try & fool myself, then it doesn't usually work out because I was never really committed. That's often when I bail. If I am trying to convince myself I NEED to do something I don't want to do, then I do my best to connect it to a larger, undeniable need/want (as I explained before). I'm not fooling myself then, I am simply acknowledging & reasoning on what it takes to accomplish what I want in reality. This is certainly Ne coming into play as well (the re-framing, connecting values in the big picture, etc). It's an acceptance or a realization, not a fooling. This is a process that I can get stuck in for some time also; re-evaluating, re-framing, and creating better alternatives wherever possible. Sometimes I hate to come to these conclusions, but they are what keep me functioning in a less than ideal world.

    I should add: the other times I lose motivation is when I feel overwhelmed by something. I feel incapable of doing it & so I give up. This is the biggest obstacle to accomplishing a lot of what I want to do. I should add "feeling capable" or "confidence in my abilities" to the first list then.


    What @William K mentions is true for me also in that I can get lost in the introspection phase. This is often when I am "procrastinating", as I am negotiating with myself. That deadline will pull you out fast. You have to make a decision NOW. That's why deadlines are pretty vital for me to accomplish stuff. It forces you to decide something is important & then you "just do it" because there is no more time to dawdle.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #14
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    So, when you're procrastinating, you're actually testing whether or not something is important to you? I'm envisaging it as going something like: *click around the internet —*'do I want to do x? Mmm…don't know. Okay, will try again later.' — click around the internet some more…* — Repeat until you decide that you really do or do not want to do something?

    See, when I procrastinate, I know that I don't want to do something. I don't necessarily know why. Indeed, I started a few days ago on these forums and subsequently spent hours clicking around because I'm avoiding doing a paper. I'm genuinely interested in these forums, too, so that makes it easier. But I often do things that I wouldn't ordinarily want to do like…watching really inane Youtube videos. (I just add these details in case what is obvious/natural to me is not natural to someone else's thinking).

    Also, @William K: You know when you're in a rut? And how to fix it? That's amazing, haha. I only figure that sort of thing out in retrospect — and even then after a lot of frustrated head-banging. But I get your point.

  5. #15
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    ^ Not quite. I'm negotiating, not testing. I'm saying, "I don't want to do Y, but since it will help me accomplish X, then I should do it". I may propose rewards/consequences to myself. I may reason on why now is better than later, etc. Combine that with a deadline & I'll probably do it. I need that final push for urgency though; no sense of urgency & I'll just get stuck in negotiation, avoidance & "play".

    Trust me when I say I can relate to your scenario of goofing off online while I avoid doing something I don't want to do .
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #16
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    Hmm, okay. I think I've got it. Just have to think about it. Thanks a lot for helping with my questions, @William K and @OrangeAppled ^^.

  7. #17
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    For me, Ne changes it's mind about what it wants to do all the time. I watch a movie or read a book or meet an inspiring person and then all of a sudden my entire perception changes about what I'd like to be doing. (Like a little kid who meets someone from NASA). "I want to be an astronaut!" It's been seen as a problem for me for a long time. But there are a few underlying themes that tend to come back and I can follow through with them. Often times it's a combination of people pushing me along, a little bit of Te, some people-pleasing, and commitments signed on paper that keep me stable. (Signing up for a job, I can become loyal- or a lease- or an educational program, etc.) So those things take up my time, and the changeability then only occurs in things I didn't sign up for. (Hobbies- "I'm going to write a novel! I'm going to learn to play guitar! Now I want to really get into photography! My dog is going to be just like Lassie! I'll train him day and night! And I'm going to travel the world! And today I'm buying a house! And tomorrow I'm starting my own business! I want to learn all about quantum physics this week! I want to travel to Africa and give healthcare! Time to make that video idea that I was talking about at work! ") A lot of times this transfers into staring at walls and daydreaming. Some things I stick to, based on need for some reason or other.
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  8. #18
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    It's very simple (for me): motivation. If I'm motivated, I'm the best. If I'm not, I don't get anything done.

  9. #19
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    This bit seems particularly interesting. How is play a source of inspiration? How does it rejuvenate you? It…makes you happy? (Haha, look at me exercising my rudimentary understanding of Fi.) It's just that, in contrast, I never actually feel like I can clear my head as such.
    For me, the ideal is when work and play are happening at the same time. Play is valuable because it frees your mind from the constraint of time. If I'm not conscious of time passing, then I feel free, and can focus very well.

  10. #20
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    If I really want to do something, I do it with a lot of focus. If I don’t, it takes tremendous willpower. I tend to make a decision and then want to do it as soon as possible.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

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