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[INFJ] Question for INFJ's

Santosha

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I keep reading that INFJ's are pretty good at keeping their homes organized, getting things done, maintaining stuff, etc. Pretty much everything that perceivers suck at.. But I really wanted to ask about this because suprising to me, 2 very close INFJ's really struggle with this. I'm not saying they live in total chaos and filth or anything.. but one of them (a 30 year old male) keeps a pretty messy bedroom and desk area. The other one (29 yr old female) has such a gross car (I am not kidding!) that when ever I get in it I've had to hold my breath because it smells like rotting food or something. It's BAD. And this is coming from me.. I'm messy as hell. So I'm just really curious how many of you are just on it with cleanliness and stuff. I should add that the 29 yr old female is pretty depressed. She's been on meds for a while but even when we were growing up and before she fell into depression she was fairly pack-ratty.

Edit: Just to give you an idea of the "mess" I'm referring to - it's things like books, cd's, dvd's, papers, and clothing freqently scattered all over their bedrooms.. sometimes even food wrappers and takeout boxes. The girl's bathroom is just wretched with makeup products spilling on to her counter and hair products leaking all over. She is also extremely self conscious of letting anyone in her apartment. If I come over by myself she lets me come in but still goes into this frantic display of kicking crap into closets and trying to pick clothes up. But If I bring friends she ALWAYS just meets us in the car and we go somewhere else.
 

Lily flower

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As an INFJ, I can tell you that I really really struggle with keeping things organized and clean. I can be brilliant in small doses - organize the refrigerator perfectly, or instance, but keeping an entire house and the car under control is absolutely impossible! I have never understood those descriptions that say INFJ's are good at organizing or maintaining.

I am good at getting things done - achieving my goals. That is different, because it does not involve menial labor.
 

Santosha

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I am good at getting things done - achieving my goals. That is different, because it does not involve menial labor.

Ya, this is my experience with INFJ's as well. And really, I'm apt to believe that even an intuitives with a judging preference would still find sensory input a real drag. I know for a fact that these two INFJ's I'm referring to would almost always rather be reading, watching a movie, or working on school projects and career goals. I guess I'll wait for a few more INFJ's to post.. but I think this is going to end up on my typology myths list.

Actually, the same goes for an ENFJ I knew as well. But for her it was people and social events that kept her from being really clean. I don't know if ENFJ's are suppose to be clean or not.
 

Santosha

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Do you need another roomate? :newwink:
 

Synth

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Im going to speak on this as a male INFJ, and as someone who is currently depressed. I agree with being brilliant in small doses, but organized only goes so far for me as to keep things in places I can find them. I get so lost in my head sometimes that if I dont commit a physical routine to muscle memory, I find myself becoming confused and a bit lost. Its sad really. However if you find an INFJ who's pretty on the ball and not depressed, youll find that he/her are more on the ball about keeping things a bit neat, as opposed to one who's lost in thought and over analyzing things and how they went wrong.

My point being that were generally, and I use the term loosely here, organized, but we keep messes we dont clean because regardless of someone else not knowing where everything is at, we know where its at. Make sense?
 

Fidelia

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I'd generally agree with the above. I have areas of mess, but I know where things are. I like how it looks organized, but at the same time I find it rarely stays that way for a long time. One problem is that I have too many interests and I don't enjoy organizing just for organization's sake. It has to have some larger purpose. I don't like dirty dishes, dirty laundry, or garbage lying around, but I do happily tolerate a messy workspace etc and I remember as a child having a rather messy desk.
 

SilkRoad

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I keep reading that INFJ's are pretty good at keeping their homes organized, getting things done, maintaining stuff, etc. Pretty much everything that perceivers suck at.. But I really wanted to ask about this because suprising to me, 2 very close INFJ's really struggle with this. I'm not saying they live in total chaos and filth or anything.. but one of them (a 30 year old male) keeps a pretty messy bedroom and desk area. The other one (29 yr old female) has such a gross car (I am not kidding!) that when ever I get in it I've had to hold my breath because it smells like rotting food or something. It's BAD. And this is coming from me.. I'm messy as hell. So I'm just really curious how many of you are just on it with cleanliness and stuff. I should add that the 29 yr old female is pretty depressed. She's been on meds for a while but even when we were growing up and before she fell into depression she was fairly pack-ratty.

Edit: Just to give you an idea of the "mess" I'm referring to - it's things like books, cd's, dvd's, papers, and clothing freqently scattered all over their bedrooms.. sometimes even food wrappers and takeout boxes. The girl's bathroom is just wretched with makeup products spilling on to her counter and hair products leaking all over. She is also extremely self conscious of letting anyone in her apartment. If I come over by myself she lets me come in but still goes into this frantic display of kicking crap into closets and trying to pick clothes up. But If I bring friends she ALWAYS just meets us in the car and we go somewhere else.

I'm like the 30 year old male you mention. I'm certainly not wallowing in filth, but in all honesty I often don't clean as often as I should - not to the point of disgustingness but more like "oops, this is definitely grimier than I thought." And my desk and room (I live in a small studio flat) are constantly in a state of clutter and semi-organised chaos. Not clothes on the floor etc, but certainly piles of books everywhere, piles of clean clothes on chairs waiting to be put away, an over-full laundry bag etc.

It does feel good when I get things tidier, but it never lasts long. I kind of like a somewhat cluttered environment. It feels like a cozy nest. I seldom have real problems finding things, so it really is more like organised chaos.

I've had a couple of visitors recently and that's also good as it encourages me to clean up!

Especially if I'm highly stressed, I can become extremely unaware of my surroundings and having no energy also doesn't help. Then, the place can really degenerate.

I'm also a procrastinator. None of this really matches with the traditional idea of INFJs, but it seems to be pretty common, like you mention.
 

Synth

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What I believe the above post is trying to say, is that our personal homes can reflect our states of mind. Im speaking for myself of course on this, but Id love to hear further thoughts on it.
 

Lily flower

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What's amazing to me is how much I want to have a clean uncluttered environment, and how much I am unable to do that for myself.
 

SilkRoad

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What I believe the above post is trying to say, is that our personal homes can reflect our states of mind. Im speaking for myself of course on this, but Id love to hear further thoughts on it.

I think in my case, my physical environment (in terms of my living space) is definitely a fairly close reflection of my state of mind. On that basis it is interesting that I feel somewhat perkier when I do manage to clean up a bit (though for me, even my room in its most straightened-up condition probably looks like total clutter to many.)
 

Billy

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I keep reading that INFJ's are pretty good at keeping their homes organized, getting things done, maintaining stuff, etc. Pretty much everything that perceivers suck at.. But I really wanted to ask about this because suprising to me, 2 very close INFJ's really struggle with this. I'm not saying they live in total chaos and filth or anything.. but one of them (a 30 year old male) keeps a pretty messy bedroom and desk area. The other one (29 yr old female) has such a gross car (I am not kidding!) that when ever I get in it I've had to hold my breath because it smells like rotting food or something. It's BAD. And this is coming from me.. I'm messy as hell. So I'm just really curious how many of you are just on it with cleanliness and stuff. I should add that the 29 yr old female is pretty depressed. She's been on meds for a while but even when we were growing up and before she fell into depression she was fairly pack-ratty.

Edit: Just to give you an idea of the "mess" I'm referring to - it's things like books, cd's, dvd's, papers, and clothing freqently scattered all over their bedrooms.. sometimes even food wrappers and takeout boxes. The girl's bathroom is just wretched with makeup products spilling on to her counter and hair products leaking all over. She is also extremely self conscious of letting anyone in her apartment. If I come over by myself she lets me come in but still goes into this frantic display of kicking crap into closets and trying to pick clothes up. But If I bring friends she ALWAYS just meets us in the car and we go somewhere else.

I am good at being organized if someone is watching over me from time to time lol... Damned Fe.... if I know no one is coming by and isnt going to for a while, there is no reason to care what it looks like.
 

lane777

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I should add though, I'm far more tolerate of dust and grime than clutter, because it's not that noticeable to me. Probably doesn't help that I hate cleaning; I always feel dirty afterwards.
 

Fidelia

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Yeah, having company helps for me too. My state of mind is often represented by the state of my place. And I prefer clean and organized over dirty, but not at the expense of the priorities in my life at that time.
 

CuriousFeeling

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I like to have my spaces clean so then I don't bump into something and all the stuff crashes down on the floor or suffer physical injury. :laugh: But in all seriousness though, I generally have my spaces organized, just it looks lived in. Lots of nicknacks and stuff around. The top of my desk looks halfway organized, halfway going to clutterville. I think one of my problems is having too much stuff and not enough places to put it, so I have to creatively organize things in areas that aren't visible. Otherwise, most times the second law of thermodynamics takes place in my room: everything in the universe tends to disorder. When it gets to be too much disorder, I end up having to reorganize things.
 

Z Buck McFate

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I’ll agree with what others have said in that I may not keep my living space especially organized to outside standards, but I absolutely need to know where everything is myself. If my keys aren’t where I leave them every single day, it can take me forever to find them. Once, last year, it took me four frantic hours of searching to find them- they were still hanging from the doorknob on the front door from unlocking the door the previous night. Same goes for my cell phone, purse, wallet, anything I might immediately need, I have to know where I can find it at a moment’s notice. Or dishes might (and regularly do) pile up in the sink, but I need them all put back in the right place after I clean them. It makes me antsy/agitated if someone ‘helps’ and ends up putting the short glasses where I usually put the tall glasses, etc. I just have a hard time functioning/am not able to think as clearly if things in the external world aren’t exactly where I expect them to be- so in that sense I'm hyper organized. But still messy by probably most standards.
 

MTINFJ

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Yup, i agree with the above too. I am more self conscious about my more public spaces, such as my desk in a communal office. That I will keep up to more conventional neat standards for the sake of not offending other people in the space. I don't think my personal space is messy, I see it as a complex organization system, because I know where everything is because everything has its place, I just don't happen to line everything up in rows.
 

Kyrielle

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I admit to being quite cluttered. Whatever room I end up spending the most time in is usually the messiest (my living room is a bit cluttered while the bedroom is very sparse). I sometimes have trouble keeping things like the bathroom and kitchen at the level of spotlessness I'd secretly prefer. (Where's my self-cleaning upgrade for my appliances! D: ) But I do try and I can usually keep it at a level where I'm satisfied. I tend to either go all out and clean from top to bottom or designate days for cleaning one room very thoroughly.

I recently got a pet, so by having something that causes a mess that I did not, that actually helps me keep the apartment cleaner. Apparently I can't stand a mess I didn't cause. That, and it would be very easy for a small kitten to eat something it's not supposed to if I let myself get too lazy.

Oh yes, and impending company also usually causes me to spontaneously become a maid. ;)
 

mrcockburn

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I am the messiest person IN THE WORLD.

I don't tolerate filth/dirt/germs/poor hygiene though. But you should see my room - there's a heap of dirty laundry in the corner. There are a few magazines scattered on my home desk, my bed's unmade, and several books I'm reading at the same time are piled right on my nightstand like the Tower of Babel. In the general common areas, when it's my month to clean, I hire housekeepers to do it.

I like to stay neat at work though. My desk MUST be spotless before I leave.

The most tragic case...is my handbag. Whenever I pay for something at the cash register, I hate causing people to wait (and risk getting yelled at) for taking the required 4-5 seconds to put away my change and receipts neatly. So, I just cram them into my bag wherever and vow to take care of it later - but I never do.

As a result, my textbook-sized handbag is probably 50 lbs, halfway filled with coins, and bursting with receipts/scraps of paper/others' business cards/etc. Additionally, I REFUSE to litter, so if I finish a candy bar or even a bag of chips, rather than LITTER, hold it in my hand for 20 minutes until I find a trashcan, or whatever - I simply cram it right into my purse. That usually does get dealt with though, since I don't want microscopic crumbs mummifying in my own purse.

My car? I'm a notorious muncher, so crumbs and wrappers crammed against the doors happen - but those get taken care of. I do tend to toss aside shopping bags in the back seat though, and I'm always losing a book under the seats. I get my car washed regularly.
 
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