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  1. #11
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Always say "no" first to commitments, (or give undesirable answers to things.) So that then I can go back and think about it and give a "yes" and pleasantly surprise people later. (Otherwise I find myself overextended and people pleasing.) If I say no, then it saves me the heartache of having to say "maybe" and change later.
    Now that you've mentioned it, I notice there's a pattern of this among them!


    I'm not sure if this is true among ENFPs, but I've noticed that they seem to be the first to break the ice as they're extremely uncomfortable about silence or awkwardness. I think that's an incredible ability to generate a more lively social atmosphere.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Always say "no" first to commitments, (or give undesirable answers to things.) So that then I can go back and think about it and give a "yes" and pleasantly surprise people later. (Otherwise I find myself overextended and people pleasing.) If I say no, then it saves me the heartache of having to say "maybe" and change later.
    This is brilliant. I'm stealing it.

  3. #13
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    Perhaps you meant principle, not rule.

  4. #14
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Everyone has the right to their own opinion, and their own life, as long as their actions arent hurting anyone. If I do feel offended, I ask myself where that comes from, before I react, especially if the reaction I am having seems out of proportion with what was said, as it can teach me something about myself. I also try to give everyone I meet the benefit of the doubt, and allow ample time for my first impression to be supplemented by additional info before settling at all on a more permanent impression. I hate misunderstandings and this is my standard way of trying to avoid them.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #15
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ^^ that first line was almost exactly what came to mind when i read the op just now...and then i saw i already posted

    but yeah...just that everyone has the right to be just who they are unless it's hurting someone else.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #16
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    Always give simple thanks for major acts and overthank people for small things

    (A simple, sincere "Thank you" carries more weight for larger things, and no one gets thanked enough for the little niceties that keep us from slaughtering one another).
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post

    I once remembered an ENFP told me about one of his social rule: "Tried your best not to show any frustration and disappointment in people. Whenever you are starting to feel the negative energy, try to rationalize it since your projection could be one sided and that's isn't fair."

    Another ENFP claimed she tend to think "1000 times first before offering any criticism, even if it's constructive."

    My husband is an expert on this. I know he gets frustrated when I get obsessed by some problem I can't solve and go on my "hit the library, google endlessly and talk his ears off" binge. He just suffers in silence... and waits for it to go away...
    A few times it's been over something he doesn't in general approve of. .This one time I was into something very obscure and he was very patient for months until he had enough of what he thought was a colossal waste of time.... He just kind of suddenly burst into this monologue, which took me by complete surprise, and delivered the most insightful, warm and humane talk about me, my personality and that what I was trying to do did not make me live my life in a fuller more meaningful way and in general I was not following my true calling whis was _____ , I was wasting time and it was making him feel sad because he loves me... I didn't know wether to applaud him or what. It was spot on. Perfect. First I thought...thank you! ...then I thought...wish you had told me 4 months ago...

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Always say "no" first to commitments, (or give undesirable answers to things.) So that then I can go back and think about it and give a "yes" and pleasantly surprise people later. (Otherwise I find myself overextended and people pleasing.) If I say no, then it saves me the heartache of having to say "maybe" and change later.
    I'm also stealing this. Doing it in reverse is a bad idea. I do that sometimes when everyone loves an idea, just because I get so carried away by the huge wave of happy emotional fuzziness emitting from people because they love the idea andare so happy and excited...and...and... ....to later find out when I'm alone that I-just-can't-do-it-after-all because I don't really want to do it at all... (cursed Fe!!!! )... So I'm printing these wise words. Making a card, laminating it and putting it in my purse just in case.

  8. #18
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Look for the similarities then thrive on the differences.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  9. #19
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    everyone is hurting.

  10. #20
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    I am pretty good in noticing when something has changed in a peson's behavior (even pretty minor stuff) but I don't usually have any idea why. So, most of time my observations are correct but conclusions about the reason wrong. So i should't make any conclusions about why somebody's behavior has changed and I really should't speculate about it.

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