[ENFP] ENFPs who are NOT sensitive to criticism and AREN'T highly emotional?

[Elfboy]

are you out there? sometimes I feel like the only one. not that I mind, but is it common for ENFPs not to be sensitive or emotional?

 

[Lady_X]

i generally feel pretty impervious to others opinions....but there are a select few that affect me regarding certain things...it's as tho it only hurts if we are using thew same criteria to form those opinions or if i admire or respect your view a great deal on a particular matter. but no..i don't feel like i walk around giving a shit about and/or being affected by what others think of me very often. i'm much more likely to react emotionally in defense of someone else...or possibly due to just miscommunication...that will bug me...it's like...have whatever opinion you want but at least get it right.

 

[Elfboy]

i generally feel pretty impervious to others opinions....but there are a select few that affect me regarding certain things...it's as tho it only hurts if we are using thew same criteria to form those opinions or if i admire or respect your view a great deal on a particular matter. but no..i don't feel like i walk around giving a shit about and/or being affected by what others think of me very often. i'm much more likely to react emotionally in defense of someone else...or possibly due to just miscommunication...that will bug me...it's like...have whatever opinion you want but at least get it right.

this sounds like me. I turn into a ferocious son of a bitch when I see someone getting bullied or mistreated

 

[Lady_X]

it's an odd thing...i cannot stand to hear people trash talk someone who isn't there...it's like i can't help but to defend them....even if i don't particularly care for them. it's weird...i can say yeah such n such is an asshole but you're reading this wrong or that wrong...like i'm defending some dude i'm straight up telling you i think is an asshole...where's the logic?!

 

[Elfboy]

it's an odd thing...i cannot stand to hear people trash talk someone who isn't there...it's like i can't help but to defend them....even if i don't particularly care for them. it's weird...i can say yeah such n such is an asshole but you're reading this wrong or that wrong...like i'm defending some dude i'm straight up telling you i think is an asshole...where's the logic?!

actually it's more logical because it's more fair and impartial. "he may be an ass, but he would never do that" you are putting your feelings about him aside and attempting to look at the situation free of emotional bias . most people are the opposite and just shove words into each other's mouths, inevitably ending in bigoted, emotionally charged and misinformed garbage. there is a very logical reason why you hate trash talking behind people's backs

 

[Lady_X]

actually it's more logical because it's more fair and impartial. "he may be an ass, but he would never do that" you are putting your feelings about him aside and attempting to look at the situation free of emotional bias . most people are the opposite and just shove words into each other's mouths, inevitably ending in bigoted, emotionally charged and misinformed garbage. there is a very logical reason why you hate trash talking behind people's backs

maybe you're right...it's that whole group mind thing that i can't stand..like people just believing all this bullshit and forming a collective false opinion. it grosses me out and i'll have no part in it! haha

 

[Elfboy]

maybe you're right...it's that whiole group mind thing that i can't stand..like people just believing all this bullshit and forming a collective false opinion. it grosses me out and i'll have no part in it! haha

same here
also, it's people's inability to MAKE DISTINCTIONS that drives me up the wall. like, they can't make the distinction between "I hate you go away" and "I'm busy now, can we talk later" so when someone says the latter, they turn around and trash talk him, claiming he's heartless, self centered and cold. from there is just escalates. gah, I really hate people sometimes

 

[mmhmm]

the more i'm sensitive about it, the more quiet i will be, which is
strange, because i'm very facially expressive, but this is one of the
very few things i can keep off my face: feeling hurt. i hide it well,
my face can be very normal but it's like STABSTABSTAB in my heart.

though in general i'm very lala. but i do think i'm very, very sensitive and
quite emotional, i struggled with my sensitivity for a very long time, and
it's very uncomfortable for me to exhibit it. though the sensitivity and
emotionality is very dependent on the subject/issue. there are a few
hot buttons, that if pressed i just crumble inside momentarily.

the only people that can get me in that mode are certain family members.

 

[Elfboy]

the more i'm sensitive about it, the more quiet i will be, which is
strange, because i'm very facially expressive, but this is one of the
very few things i can keep off my face: feeling hurt. i hide it well,
my face can be very normal but it's like STABSTABSTAB in my heart.

though in general i'm very lala. but i do think i'm very, very sensitive and
quite emotional, i struggled with my sensitivity for a very long time, and
it's very uncomfortable for me to exhibit it. though the sensitivity and
emotionality is very dependent on the subject/issue. there are a few
hot buttons, that if pressed i just crumble inside momentarily.
the only people that can get me in that mode are certain family members.

this sounds kind of like me.
I've noticed recently that their are times when something hurts my feelings a little bit, but I don't notice it because subconsciously I'm like "it's just a scratch, I'll get over it" this method seems to be working as I do seem to get over things in a short time. anything that's still bothering me after a day I deal with more consciously and ask why it bothered me in the first place.
if it's something big though, my mind goes "Whoa! I need seem time alone to sort this out." then I just figure what I can do about it and talk to anyone else involved to sort out any disputes or conflicts of interests.

 

[CzeCze]

are you out there? sometimes I feel like the only one. not that I mind, but is it common for ENFPs not to be sensitive or emotional?

Do you really feel you aren't sensitive or emotional? While I'm not that familiar with the bulk of your posts, I do seem to remember some arguments that you've gotten into with other members here.

 

[Qlip]

Yeah, Elf. I don't know what your definition of emotional is, but all your content seems very loaded. And you are hot to argue about stuff, especially when it gets close to home.

That being said, I am sensitive to criticism to certain things. Anything usually having to do with my ideals, anything else I don't really care about. Emotionality is hard for me to gauge. Mostly because I believe everybody has the same level of it, they don't necessarily express it even though they feel it.

 

[Santosha]

I wish that I could say I wan't sensitive or highly emotional, but for the most part I am.

What is really different for me is that I find the things I am sensitive about vs other people tend to be different alot of the time. And the only thing that I can chalk that up to is the way I intuitively perceive. So the most crude comment may not have any affect because I intuitiely know where its coming from or what it means, but more of a passive agressive, subtle comment can REALLY piss me off! INFACT, passive aggressive behavior irritates me more than almost anything else. If you have something to say, fucking say it. Quit being a coward. Get it out there so it can be delt with and moved on from. Oh I can't even begin to convey how much I despise passive aggressive people.. I wonder how common that is for ENFP's? It's just inauthentic! Horribley inauthentic! I can understand some of this going on with business relations, things that you don't have a choice in.. but when it comes to my personal relations I loathe people who act passive agressive towards me or struggle with confrontation. I don't really like confrontation either, especially if I'm going up against someone much colder than me.. but I just see it as totally fucking neccissary at times! And I feel like as an ENFP, i can read peoples emotional states pretty well. And i can tell if something is bothering someone, or they are mad at me, whatever. Hell, I'll even initiate resolving it.. I'll ask one over and over if they are upset, let them know they can talk to me, its better to get things off your chest than let it fester.. I will STILL have people claim nothing is up, only to go behind my back and bitch about me to a different friend or family member! This shit drives me up a wall. I find it just sooo disguistingly cowardice! Why, I ask you? Why do people do this?

I also shift perspectives insanely fast. Too fast. I tend to quickly rationalize not the act thats made me upset, but how much of a waste it is for me to be upset, how uncomfortable it is, and how unnecissary it is. This is a blessing and a curse because I have a very hard time holding a grudge against people, even when some kind of consequence to their action is really deserved. But i feel like they do have a consequence, because I distance myself. I rarely seek to discinpline or control people, but if they hurt me they usually just get pushed away. Problem solved. Let them go be nasty to someone else.

 

[CzeCze]

^^ Ah, that super fast rationalization is a bane to self-growth. A BANE! You forgive someone before giving them the chance to feel the full brunt of their consequences and apologize. It does no favors for anyone involved.

 

[CzeCze]

Also, I think the word "sensitive" gets a bad rap, unless you are Matthew McConaughey or however you spell it or a dead, obscure 18th century French poet. I grew up in a household of very detached NTs who were all just bloody awful at expressing emotions in a healthy way or at all. I also went to highschool with a bunch of conformist bankers (true story, 3/4 people I graduated with are lawyers, doctors, bankers, or engineers) and then college with a bunch of passive-aggressive insecure women.

So I learned to detach myself and talk in straight lines. It was the only credibility I could 'earn' for myself given that I was such an oddball.

In a way it was a mixed blessing because I can still put up a poker face and act a lot calmer about something than I am. However, I prefer not to. If I could emoticon all over the place and scream and yell and cry and pound on desks and flip over tables and be a stereotype of a high-drama queen, I TOTALLY would. However, that kind of exuberance is foreign to me, maybe because of my upbringing where it was squashed down so hard.

I WAS ROBBED!!!!

If only I could be even more emotionally demonstrative and more openly sensitive OMG I could've had my own freaking TV show by now. Ohhhhh, it makes my blood boil.

 

[pmj85]

I've probably mentioned this before, but for an ENFP I'm pretty 'hard' emotionally. I've grown up with and around dominant T users; whilst during childhood and my teen years I was quite sensitive and easily hurt, now I'm really not. In fact I sometimes test as an ENTP, though I know that my F is the truly dominant function... you just have to dig a little to get to it

 

[rexadelic]

it's an odd thing...i cannot stand to hear people trash talk someone who isn't there...it's like i can't help but to defend them....even if i don't particularly care for them. it's weird...i can say yeah such n such is an asshole but you're reading this wrong or that wrong...like i'm defending some dude i'm straight up telling you i think is an asshole...where's the logic?!

I relate to this so well! Whenever I'm with friends and they say "such and such is an asshole", even if I agree, I try to make them see that there's more to that person than just "asshole-ness". It's like even if I dislike a person, I try to understand them and usually end up wanting to be friends with them so I can help them become a better person.

 

[alcea rosea]

are you out there? sometimes I feel like the only one. not that I mind, but is it common for ENFPs not to be sensitive or emotional?

My own experience with myself. I'm very sensitie but I do have my tough moments like when I'm angry or feel violated. I am emotional but can control my emotional side in public. So, emotionality isn't shown to outside, so people around me might have no idea how I really feel, especially if they aren't too sensitive to other people's emotions. I feel I have two very opposing sides in my personality, and in evrything, like ying and yang, one strongly feminine and the other, sometimes shown masculine "strenght" side... But I wouldn't call myself not sensitve nor not emotional...

 

[CzeCze]

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION], come back to your thread! >_<

 

[kyuuei]

For me, I feel a bit of social conditioning helps in this department.

I'm such a passionate person--if I acted without much thought into everything I do, no one would take me seriously when I needed to be taken that way, and people would assume I'm more than I am. (ex: If I'm coming to someone sad about a subject, they assume I must be super sad and don't know where to turn.. whereas, if I remain composed most of the time but decide to talk a situation through, they assume I'm just doing what I set out to do.) So I restrain myself most of time, either from the stigmas of what my actions could mean (invading personal privacy, etc.), or the misrepresentation forcing me to adjust.

This sort of thing just tends to toughen me up over the years, and now very little really annoys me. I will be vocal about smaller things--to squash them before they snowball. But I tend to be very quiet and feel almost like I need to retreat, collect my thoughts and opinions on the issue, and then come back to re-address it later. Even if I am really hurt by a comment, I tend not to let that show.. and I think that conditioning comes into play.

The other part of it is I feel like if people control my emotional status, they control me. I hate that idea.

As far as criticism... Everything is how you say it, not what you say. I can handle anything being thrown my way, if it's done in a way that is constructive and useful to BOTH parties.. otherwise, it's not criticism, it's just bitching at me.

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION], come back to your thread! >_<

did you miss me